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dagnabbit!! girl won't go out with me again.

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dagnabbit!! girl won't go out with me again.

Old 03-26-06, 12:38 AM
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dagnabbit!! girl won't go out with me again.

beginning of venting.....

so there's this girl at the college that i go to who we have been flirting quite a bit the last few weeks or so, and a couple of weeks ago i call her up one afternoon and ask her out for dinner that night, to which she says yes. i later found out that after i hung up with her she called her friend and semi-freaked out about it (in a good way). anyway, we went out to eat and things went well. so well in fact that as we were leaving the restaurant she said she didn't really want to end it and suggested we go hang out at somewhere else. so we did and had fun. nothing huge but a good time was had. i took her back to her car and we both drove home where we talked on the phone for about 20 more minutes.

then i asked her out again the next weekend and she said yes. but during the week her friend had grilled me about what i thought about the first date, etc. i said i had fun and wanted to go out again. so we go out again the next weekend and this time we go to dinner and then some sort of amusement park place with lots of different fun stuff to do and then ice cream, walmart at 11.30 pm and then i took her home about midnight. once again, she had fun. i know this because she told me. and once more, phone talking was had because she had wanted me to call once i got home safely as i live an hour away from her.

so then spring break hit and i called her up to see if she wanted to do something but she said she was going out of town for part of it and that she had to study for a major test when she got back. so i see her this week and she is kind of indifferent to me most of the week. granted her grandfather had open heart surgery on monday and she had the major test to get ready for as well as opera rehearsal three nights this week so i am sure that had something to do with it. so i try to call her up on thursday and say hey but she doesn't answer so i left a message saying something to the effect of "i had a good time and i would like to go out with you again, but i realize that you are really busy for the next couple of weeks". and i haven't heard back from her.

so that being the case, i am of the opinion that i should probably drop it and not press the issue. it sucks though, cause we had a good time. darn.

ok, end of venting. if you are still reading, thanks for listening.
Old 03-26-06, 12:41 AM
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maybe it's 'cuz you say things like "dagnabbit"?
Old 03-26-06, 12:42 AM
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Have you tried creating a website and having the Chinese guy forward a link to her email address?
Old 03-26-06, 12:57 AM
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If she likes you, let her come to you dude.
Old 03-26-06, 01:00 AM
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Originally Posted by kevin75
so we go out again the next weekend and this time we go to dinner and then some sort of amusement park place with lots of different fun stuff to do and then ice cream, walmart at 11.30 pm and then i took her home about midnight.
It's almost hard to believe you didn't score after taking your date to Walmart. Next time, spend more than a half-hour there.
Old 03-26-06, 02:52 AM
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Be an American and stalk her ass...

...seriously, did she actually say she won't go out with you again? There still could be hope.


Now get stalking......
Old 03-26-06, 03:01 AM
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Originally Posted by Bill Geiger
If she likes you, let her come to you dude.
Agreed. You made it clear you are interested, wait and see if she calls/comes-a-looking. Don't keep bugging her. If she is interested, but just too busy to date right now and you keep bugging her, when she finds time for dating, she'll be out with some other dude.

There really isn't much you can do aside from that, unless you are the stalker/kidnapper type. In that case, your fun is about to begin.
Old 03-26-06, 03:02 AM
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Originally Posted by NORML54601
It's almost hard to believe you didn't score after taking your date to Walmart.
Maybe it was a Tuesday date. If so, I totally understand.
Old 03-26-06, 03:03 AM
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Did you ask for her e-mail address?
Old 03-26-06, 03:08 AM
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Originally Posted by kevin75
granted her grandfather had open heart surgery on monday and she had the major test to get ready for as well as opera rehearsal three nights this week so i am sure that had something to do with it.
I think these are the reasons right here. If nothing happened in between now and the last date, then she is just preoccupied with this stuff. Don't take it so seriously yet.
Old 03-26-06, 03:39 AM
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Exactly what FinkPish said. Also though, IMHO your message SHOULD have been asking her about her grandfather and how he's doing (no, don't go do that now), rather than pressing her for another date when you seem to know quite well how much stuff is going on in her life. It makes you seem a little self-centered. Not judging you, but based on what you wrote, it could easily be interpreted that way. Best thing you can do now is just put it out of your mind. The ball's in her court - don't go chasing after it.
Old 03-26-06, 03:47 AM
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1st of all why is her friend all up in the bizness? Is she cockblockin'?
Old 03-26-06, 03:47 AM
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Send her 3 dozen roses. That'll work.
Old 03-26-06, 09:40 AM
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pics? (ok, now THAT is outta the way)

What hahn said. You missed a golden opportunity when you didn't ask about her grandfather... especially if she was the one that told you about him. It would've showed that you were actually paying attention to what's on her mind and you're genuinely concerned for her. Next time you talk to her, be sure to ask about him.
Old 03-26-06, 10:05 AM
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at some of these repsonses. you guys are great.

actually i had seen her very briefly in passing during the week and had already asked her about her grandfather and she said that he was doing well all things considered.

and to answer some questions...

a. her friend is just curious and wants us to get to together (i think). at least she seemed that way when she was asking how things went.

b. walmart in the wee hours of the evening is a great place to go. at least around this part of the country it is.

c. yes, i do have pics. no i won't post them.

d. she never actually said that she wouldn't go out with me again, i just haven't heard back from her. so me not being the stalker type, yes, the ball is in her court.

Last edited by kevin75; 03-26-06 at 10:08 AM.
Old 03-26-06, 10:39 AM
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Maybe if you wrote her a note:

"Check here if you like me" (be sure and put your name so she knows who "me" is)

Give it to her friend, who can pass it to her. Then she can give it back to her friend and then to you so you will have the answer.

Ah youth! I'm so glad I'm NOT there!
Old 03-26-06, 11:50 AM
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Simple question: did you try and make a serious move on this chick after either dates one or two?

Women are a fickle bunch. They put a lot of stock in whether or not they feel some kind of sexual connection with a guy, no matter what he looks like or acts like on the actual date. They want that "spark".

Men, meanwhile, have much simpler standards. Is she good looking? Well, all righty, then. Doesn't matter if your type is big-busted redheads -- if a twiggy blonde girl with a nice face wants to give you the time of day, then off you go.

That's why it is essential to make some kind of move right away. You have to get some kind of kiss -- even a light peck -- within the first 40 minutes. Especially if this girl had you in the friend zone before... you have to break out of that place ASAP, and there's no better way to remind her that you're a red-blooded man than by being a little over-agressive right off the bat.

(Don't go too far -- date-rape is the surest way not to get that all-important second-date phone call.)

At this point... hmm... I'd say (just a guess) that she didn't move you out of the friend zone, and now you're stuck. Ow. Tough one. Looks like you're going to have to drag out the heavy artillery and...

Start going after the best friend. If after a week or so, this girl still isn't returning phone calls and is giving you the brush-off, start trying to hang out more with the best friend. Keep saying things like, "Man, I wish that Tara was as easy to talk to as you." Or "I guess Tara just didn't really think I'm all that attractive. What do you think?" Just get her friend sort of interested in you... then she'll talk to her friend about you in a whole new light... and those terrirtorial instincts will kick in, and this girl will be calling you up seven days a week, begging you to go out.
Old 03-26-06, 01:34 PM
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She found someone better.

Move on.
Old 03-26-06, 01:55 PM
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Her silence is all of the response that you need... move on.

... but not before you P in her B.
Old 03-26-06, 02:03 PM
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Originally Posted by Joe Molotov
Have you tried creating a website and having the Chinese guy forward a link to her email address?
i was wondering how many posts into this thread i'd get before it came back to bite me in the ass!
-di doctor-
Old 03-26-06, 02:37 PM
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She wanted a few free meals. Be lucky that's all she got you for. Move on quickly.
Old 03-26-06, 02:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Sdallnct
Maybe if you wrote her a note:

"Check here if you like me" (be sure and put your name so she knows who "me" is)

Give it to her friend, who can pass it to her. Then she can give it back to her friend and then to you so you will have the answer.

Ah youth! I'm so glad I'm NOT there!
No, no, no. It goes:

Do you like me?

|_| Yes

|_| No

|_| Maybe

I think I saw that in Strangers With Candy, but I can't remember for sure. Something with a male teacher passing it to a female student, then looking at her inquisitively. Hilarious.
Old 03-26-06, 03:25 PM
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You need to make a page on MySpace.
Old 03-26-06, 03:34 PM
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It isn't all about you.

She has a lot going on in her life, give her some space. You are in college....go enjoy yourself, and if she comes back...great, if not....eh, it happens. You don't have to be an asshole about it, but if you are less available and throw in a couple mixed signals, it will go a long way in getting her attention. It sounds backwards...but that is how women are. She just enough interest to acknowledge her, but don't give her the power back, make her call you. Make her want to know why you aren't around at her beck and call. It helps if you are out with other women. If she had any interest in you, it will bug her a bit and she might do something about it. If she didn't like you....you don't lose anything, but you save time trying to get someone who wasn't interested.

-p
Old 03-26-06, 04:11 PM
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Originally Posted by kevin75
so that being the case, i am of the opinion that i should probably drop it and not press the issue. it sucks though, cause we had a good time. darn.
Answered your own vent, dude.

Good luck.

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