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Happy Purim!

Old 03-13-06, 07:07 PM
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Happy Purim!

It being after sundown, it is now officially Purim, the greatest of all Jewish holidays. I'm starting my one-man campaign to make Purim a part of American culture. Just like we are all Irish Catholics on St. Patrick's Day, I believe we should all be Jews on Purim.*

So what is Purim? It commemorates the events in the book of Esther. Basically, Esther was the Jewish queen of Persia. Haman was the evil advisor to the King of Persia (King Ahasuerus, who is believed to be the historical Xerxes I). When Esther's uncle Mordecai refused to bow down to Haman (Mordecai would bow to no man, only God), Haman plotted to kill all the Jews. Mordecai found out about the plot and convinced Esther to go to King Ahasuerus and beg him to stop the slaughter. This was not without risk, but King Ahasuerus decided he liked his wife more than he liked Haman, and so had Haman killed instead.

How do Jews celebrate Purim? There's lots of games and singing and dressing up in silly costumes and making lots of noise and eating. But the most important custom is the one commanded by the Rabbis of Talmudic times: Jews are commanded to get so drunk that they can't tell the difference between Haman and Mordecai.

Does your pansy ass religion command you to get shit-faced drunk? I don't think so.

Just as we are all Irish on March 17, we should all be Jews on the 14th of Adar.** Because after all, God wants you to get really drunk. And can't we all get behind a God who gives us such sensible commandments?

Happy Purim to my fellow Jews -- and remember, I think we're all Jews on Purim, so that means happy Purim to everyone. Now go out and drink lots of alcohol!

* Circumcision optional.

** The Jewish calendar is a screwy lunar calendar, so Purim moves around on the Gregorian calendar we all know and love from year to year.
Old 03-13-06, 07:20 PM
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This is one holiday I can get behind!

Also... don't you eat sweets?
Old 03-13-06, 07:23 PM
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Where do I get a Purim tree?
Old 03-13-06, 07:29 PM
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And I never even got my "Happy Purim" card from you...
Old 03-13-06, 07:43 PM
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Originally Posted by The Bus
This is one holiday I can get behind!

Also... don't you eat sweets?
You do. The traditional Purim treat is the Hamantaschen, which is a triangular pastry with a fruit filling.

Plus, as I may have mentioned, you drink alcohol.
Old 03-13-06, 07:45 PM
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Originally Posted by crazyronin
And I never even got my "Happy Purim" card from you...


Old 03-13-06, 07:48 PM
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If the grocery stores start decorating for Purim in February I'm going to lodge a complaint.
Old 03-13-06, 07:48 PM
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Originally Posted by JasonF
You do. The traditional Purim treat is the Hamantaschen, which is a triangular pastry with a fruit filling.

Plus, as I may have mentioned, you drink alcohol.
Also, I was just informed by The Short Bus that it is POO-Rim, not PEW-Rim. In the next few days I'm sure we'll get Hamantaschen in the mail.
Old 03-13-06, 08:14 PM
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Well done, my fellow Yid. But no need to stop there!

Of course there is a caveat, don't become so drunk that you cannot perform mitzvot, such as washing before eating or praying. In other words, get drunk, but not shitfaced. The Rabbis would approve.

May I also add from the Laws of Megilah:
"One should eat meat and prepare as nice a meal as one can afford and drink wine until one becomes drunk and falls asleep from drunkenness. (Laws of Megillah 2:15)"
Old 03-13-06, 08:50 PM
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Originally Posted by JasonF
You do. The traditional Purim treat is the Hamantaschen, which is a triangular pastry with a fruit filling.


Im still vacumming needles from last year's Purim...
Old 03-14-06, 12:26 AM
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I'm kind-of-sort-of Jewish by marriage, so Happy Purim, my fellow Otters of the Jewish persuasion!!!!

Old 03-14-06, 12:32 AM
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Purim...the only 'guilt free' and fun Jewish holiday....










sort of...




and I always pronounced it "Purr-im"....or "Poor-im"

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