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Worst Spam, 2006

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Worst Spam, 2006

Old 02-22-06, 08:32 AM
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Worst Spam, 2006

Just got this in my inbox... between the bizarre historical references and the sensational final claim about "one towel"... let's just say that I feel somewhat nauseated:

Imagine what could happen if the kings weren’t able to father.
Now there wouldn’t be anyone to rule the world.
And the civilization would have died many centuries ago.
Maybe they used herbs that are enclosed
in Spermamax and thus had no problems with fertility function.
Maybe this can be a way out for you too.
Imagine what could happen if the kings weren’t able to father.
Now there wouldn’t be anyone to rule the world.
And the civilization would have died many centuries ago.
Maybe they used herbs that are enclosed
in Spermamax and thus had no problems with fertility function.
Maybe this can be a way out for you too.
With Spermamax one towel won’t be enough to wipe off your sperm.
Old 02-22-06, 08:45 AM
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Hey...thanks for sharing.
Old 02-22-06, 09:05 AM
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NCMojo, you forgot to post the ordering information.

Uh ... you know, so we can laugh at it. I'm sure the ordering information is funny too.
Old 02-22-06, 09:43 AM
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I got one once that was for a breastfeeding aid. It said that your baby would have to gulp to keep up with the flow of your milk if you used it. I was so disgusted I didn't drink milk for the rest of my life.
Old 02-22-06, 09:52 AM
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I seem to be getting three or four spam messages in my MySpace inbox the last few days. Apparently there's a cute girl who wants to have a word with me and this other guy has prepared the legal documents I apparently inquired about a week ago.
Old 02-22-06, 10:30 AM
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I got a spam that told me it could increase my penis so that I could, "destroy her insides."

I'm not sure I want to kill a woman during sex.
Old 02-22-06, 10:39 AM
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Several different banks that I don't do business with are really worried about my online account access. Oddly enough, they all have the same text in their emails.



*Important*
Please update your records on or before 48 hours, a failure to update your records will result in a temporal hold on your funds.
Old 02-22-06, 10:43 AM
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Originally Posted by Brain Stew
I got a spam that told me it could increase my penis so that I could, "destroy her insides."

I'm not sure I want to kill a woman during sex.
I got one that said I would be able to break down walls
Old 02-22-06, 10:45 AM
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Originally Posted by Brain Stew
I got a spam that told me it could increase my penis so that I could, "destroy her insides."

I'm not sure I want to kill a woman during sex.
If you think that's bad, consider what it's like to get those emails when you don't even HAVE a penis. It feels really weird.
Old 02-22-06, 11:03 AM
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I got one a few weeks ago telling me how to "drown my girlfriend in cum"
Old 02-22-06, 11:24 AM
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Originally Posted by Vibiana
If you think that's bad, consider what it's like to get those emails when you don't even HAVE a penis. It feels really weird.
I know! I get them all the time.
Old 02-22-06, 11:29 AM
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Originally Posted by nevermind
I got one a few weeks ago telling me how to "drown my girlfriend in cum"
Seems like the police would be able to trace that back to you fairly easily.
Old 02-22-06, 11:32 AM
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Originally Posted by Vibiana
If you think that's bad, consider what it's like to get those emails when you don't even HAVE a penis.
At times like this, I always think...

WWbD
Old 02-22-06, 11:34 AM
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I got one a few weeks ago that promised me I could get my breasts to grow so big and perky, my nipples would punch through the fabric of my clothes. Yeah dude, that's just what I need: couture-destroying tits.

I also get the "increase your (non-existent) penis size and make her see who's the master of her pleasure" spam all the freakin' time.
Old 02-22-06, 11:46 AM
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Originally Posted by dork
Seems like the police would be able to trace that back to you fairly easily.
Actually, they didn't specify whose cum it was. I think his spam came from these guys, as a way to deal with overstock.
Old 02-22-06, 11:51 AM
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Originally Posted by Pressplay
couture-destroying tits.
Great band name.
Old 02-22-06, 12:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Bushdog
Actually, they didn't specify whose cum it was. I think his spam came from these guys, as a way to deal with overstock.
In 8-10 hours I will click on that and be properly revolted, I'm sure.

Some guy named Bill Klinton seems to endorse a lot of the products I'm offered via e-mail.
Old 02-22-06, 12:07 PM
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Wait - what size towel?
Old 02-22-06, 12:08 PM
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Originally Posted by dork
In 8-10 hours I will click on that and be properly revolted, I'm sure.

Some guy named Bill Klinton seems to endorse a lot of the products I'm offered via e-mail.
Very work safe. Sadly not worth the 8-10 hour wait.
Old 02-22-06, 12:09 PM
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All these "enlarge your penis" things are for drugs. If I want a bigger penis, I can do down to the "toy store" and buy one.

I am getting a lot of spam trying to sell me stocks. I feel like the stranded traveler in a horror movie... "Come een, seet down.... buy some ov dees stocks...."
Old 02-22-06, 12:13 PM
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Originally Posted by Bushdog
Very work safe. Sadly not worth the 8-10 hour wait.
You tricked me!

She's eating it with a spoon!
Old 02-22-06, 11:36 PM
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Originally Posted by nevermind
I got one a few weeks ago telling me how to "drown my girlfriend in cum"

Death by spooj!

Story at 11.
Old 02-23-06, 01:22 AM
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Originally Posted by Y2K Falcon
*Important*
Please update your records on or before 48 hours, a failure to update your records will result in a temporal hold on your funds.


"It seems your funds have been caught in a temporal anomaly, caused by high energy photons generated by the warp core. We may be able to free them with a series of tachyon bursts from the deflector dish, but first we will need your password and Social Security Number."
Old 02-23-06, 07:38 PM
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Originally Posted by Joe Molotov


"It seems your funds have been caught in a temporal anomaly, caused by high energy photons generated by the warp core. We may be able to free them with a series of tachyon bursts from the deflector dish, but first we will need your password and Social Security Number."
10/10 on teh TNGeekometer for funny

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