Other Talk "Otterville" plus Religion/Politics

getting over a relationship

Old 02-07-06, 09:18 AM
  #1  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 32
getting over a relationship

hey guys, i usually frequent the adult forum but i have a question that doesnt totally belong there so i thought id post it in here...

Well about 2 years ago i went out with a girl (my first big relationship) for 6 months.. things were great but eventually she left me for another guy and apparantly the reason was "its me not you".. Frankly i was crazy about this girl and its been a long hard process forgetting her... about a week later i started going out with sumone else (bad idea).. but we hit it off great too.. Before i knew it we had been together well over a year and the relationship was a huge improvement over the last girl... But i kept thinking about her and that really bugged me...the first Ex had tried to keep contact with me but i broke it smartly after a few months... so here i am a year into a relationship with this girll.. we were talking about moving in, or quite possibily moving sumwhere far away where she had school options..then one day i decided i had to see my Ex... so i told my gf and went and saw her.. well me and my ex kissed and i felt the need to tell my gf... I told her (thinking it was forgiveable becasue she kissed sumone a few months into our relationship and didnt even tell me for half a year).... and she blew up and broke it off.. but after a few hours we reconciled and we were fine for 2 weeks... then one day after i had just been sleeping over at her house she called me up and broke it off... just like that and said she never wanted to talk to me again...

For sum reason i continued to talk to her parents and i found out from them that she was already seeing sumone else (this was after about 2 weeks)..but i figure she was seeing him earlier.. frankly i think she was seeing him from the day she broke it off with me...)

I say my first Ex a few times and she continued to toy with me (2 steps forward, 3 back).. So finally i said forget it and i havent talked to her in 2 months now and im much better for it.. i realized all i thought about her all this time was sexual and i dont 'love' her it was just she was my first and she was hot thats it but she is no good for me... but now im stuck in the same rut i was with before with her but now with my more recent ex.. I miss her yada yada and all that stuff... i cant stop thinking about her with this other guy and i just cant stop thinkin about everything..

SOooo finally my question is how do i get over this? it took me a year and a half to get over the first ex and it screwed up a good relationship in the process... I dont want that crap again but im noticing myself feeling and doing the same things. im so depressed i dont know wut to do.. im luckily not checking her msn profile but its hard not to..

any help advice on how you guys got over exs.. or similar stories would be great
thanks guys
Longhungsilver is offline  
Old 02-07-06, 09:48 AM
  #2  
DVD Talk Ultimate Edition
 
bigsoos's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Sachse, TX
Posts: 4,514
strip club

just try to keep occupied doing other things?
bigsoos is offline  
Old 02-07-06, 09:55 AM
  #3  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Kittydreamer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 13,611
Have you thought about seeking out some professional help? You sound like a nice person and deserve to be happy. If you don't find what you are looking for here, consider seeing a therapist to help you through the rough times. *Hugs*
Kittydreamer is offline  
Old 02-07-06, 10:01 AM
  #4  
DVD Talk Limited Edition
 
Dr. Henry Jones, Jr.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: My Car
Posts: 6,752
are these relationships the thing that have driven you to frequent the adult forum?
Dr. Henry Jones, Jr. is offline  
Old 02-07-06, 10:05 AM
  #5  
DVD Talk Gold Edition
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Im somewhere where I dont know where I am.
Posts: 2,074
dude, she left you for wergo
skiblet is offline  
Old 02-07-06, 12:17 PM
  #6  
DVD Talk Limited Edition
 
Johnny Zhivago's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Korova Milkbar
Posts: 5,435
Originally Posted by Longhungsilver
any help advice on how you guys got over exs.. or similar stories would be great
You do have hobbies, don't you? Pursue them. Do you own a home? Start fixing it up... Keep yourself busy. Hang out with your friends. Catch some good concerts. Find something that you love to do and do it. Do NOT spend your time sitting around thinking about your ex... It's over, walk away with your DIGNITY and live YOUR life.
Johnny Zhivago is offline  
Old 02-07-06, 12:25 PM
  #7  
DVD Talk Reviewer
 
Pointyskull's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Formerly known as "12thmonkey"/Frankfort, IL
Posts: 7,541
Originally Posted by Johnny Zhivago
You do have hobbies, don't you? Pursue them. Do you own a home? Start fixing it up... Keep yourself busy. Hang out with your friends. Catch some good concerts. Find something that you love to do and do it. Do NOT spend your time sitting around thinking about your ex... It's over, walk away with your DIGNITY and live YOUR life.

Pointyskull is offline  
Old 02-07-06, 12:45 PM
  #8  
DVD Talk Platinum Edition
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Fort Collins, CO
Posts: 3,479
Exactly what JZ said, you have to fill that new void in your life with things that YOU like to do for YOURSELF. Focus on yourself. Once some time has passed and you are a little more comfortable thinking about it, reflect on what went wrong, what you could do better next time, how to learn and grow from the experience. Always remember, you can't control the other person, whether you did something wrong or not, if they want out, they want out. Use this time to maximize your potential to come out of this thing in a better place than where you were prior to getting into it.

Hang in there, believe in yourself and you'll do fine. There will be other opportunities with better women.
woofman is offline  
Old 02-07-06, 01:02 PM
  #9  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Sugar Land, TX
Posts: 14,292
I had a couple of tough breakups, but I always used the experience and learned from my mistakes so I wouldn't make them again. It was part of a growing process that made me a better partner ultimately.

Learn from your mistakes this time and vow not to repeat them again. You fucked up by kissing an ex-girlfriend. Doesn't matter that your current GF had previously done it as we are talking about your actions, not hers.

BTW, how old are you (this should be a mandatory reveal in relationship-gone-wrong threads)? They may give us a little more perspective.
cdollaz is offline  
Old 02-07-06, 01:05 PM
  #10  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 14,204
Two words: Vegas, baby.
NCMojo is offline  
Old 02-07-06, 01:06 PM
  #11  
DVD Talk God
 
kvrdave's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 86,200
It just takes time. I use to think about an ex every single day. It would bother me when I would think about how many days in a row I had gone and thought about her. Had dreams, etc. This actually went on for years.

You just find someone better and let your mind heal over time. It took longer to quit thinking about her than it took to quit thinking about tobacco. It just takes time.

And I knew the girl wasn't right for me. Wouldn't have wanted to be with her, wasn't real happy when I was with her. But sometimes....sorry, sumtimes it just takes a long time to heal.
kvrdave is offline  
Old 02-07-06, 01:07 PM
  #12  
DVD Talk Limited Edition
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Pleasantville - in black & white ;P
Posts: 5,970
You have to focus on YOU. Like JZ said, get out there and have a life that doesn't involve a sexual relationship. It sounds like too much of your identity is tied to who you're sleeping with.

How about this time, taking some time. Get to know yourself better so you don't just settle for the next girl to come along. How about being PICKY this time?
mosquitobite is offline  
Old 02-07-06, 01:20 PM
  #13  
DVD Talk Legend
 
AGuyNamedMike's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: (formerly known as Inglenook Hampendick) Fairbanks, Alaska!
Posts: 15,070
Originally Posted by cdollaz
BTW, how old are you (this should be a mandatory reveal in relationship-gone-wrong threads)? They may give us a little more perspective.
Yep.
AGuyNamedMike is offline  
Old 02-07-06, 01:42 PM
  #14  
Li
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 978
Originally Posted by kvrdave
And I knew the girl wasn't right for me. Wouldn't have wanted to be with her, wasn't real happy when I was with her. But sometimes....sorry, sumtimes it just takes a long time to heal.
I can relate to this.
Li is offline  
Old 02-07-06, 01:47 PM
  #15  
DVD Talk Hero
 
El Scorcho's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 39,624
Aren't there any other girls in your junior high school that you can try to bone?
El Scorcho is offline  
Old 02-07-06, 02:04 PM
  #16  
DVD Talk God
 
kvrdave's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 86,200
I think you found your wingman.
kvrdave is offline  
Old 02-07-06, 02:17 PM
  #17  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: Hail to the Redskins!
Posts: 24,529
Originally Posted by El Scorcho
Aren't there any other girls in your junior high school that you can try to bone?
They gotsa be sumwher.
DVD Josh is offline  
Old 02-07-06, 02:22 PM
  #18  
DVD Talk Limited Edition
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: BV VA
Posts: 6,061
ahhhhhhhhh the horrible freaking grammar!!!!

Just give it time. You'll know, you can't force it.
kantonburg is offline  
Old 02-07-06, 02:29 PM
  #19  
DVD Talk Ultimate Edition
 
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 4,160
Just give yourself sum time........ to be yourself....... and you'll find that you're totally awesum...............
jdodd is offline  
Old 02-07-06, 02:50 PM
  #20  
DVD Talk Special Edition
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Summerfest
Posts: 1,227
As someone told me when I broke up with my man, it's better to get over someone when you are on top of someone.
Green Smurf is offline  
Old 02-07-06, 02:52 PM
  #21  
DVD Talk Limited Edition
 
Baron Of Hell's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Seattle and sometimes hell
Posts: 5,841
The best way to get over a relationship is to have sex with someone of the same sex, unless you are gay then you must have sex with someone of opposite sex.

Don't worry this won't make you gay or straight. Everyboddy does this kind of thing so just find a guy and go at him. By doing this you will see that you don't need any silly women with all their head games. You'll learn what being a man is all about and be able to become a better stronger person.

Its all about you, and loving you first. Once you know this you will see that stinky lady shouldn't be allowed breath the same air as you. She is on level way below you and should he on her hands and knees kissing your feet. So have sex with men until your level is high enough to see the truth.
Baron Of Hell is offline  
Old 02-07-06, 03:20 PM
  #22  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Vibiana's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Living in a van down by the river
Posts: 13,657
You've got to be alone for a while or you'll never be ready for another relationship. Get this girl out of your system before you start dating again. Concentrate on your own interests and hobbies for a while and make yourself the cool, attractive person you want to be. There's nothing more compelling to people looking for a partner.

(The alternative, you should understand, is to keep being all bummed out about your ex and attract amateur therapist types who are looking for a broken person to heal.)

Last edited by Vibiana; 02-07-06 at 03:23 PM.
Vibiana is offline  
Old 02-07-06, 04:00 PM
  #23  
DRG
DVD Talk Legend
 
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: ND
Posts: 13,392
Bang a bunch of random chicks.

Wait, what are we talking about? You know what, it doesn't matter. "Bang a bunch of random chicks" is the answer to everything.
DRG is offline  
Old 02-07-06, 05:18 PM
  #24  
DVD Talk Gold Edition
 
Venom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: PA
Posts: 2,180
take the lump some!
Venom is offline  
Old 02-07-06, 05:53 PM
  #25  
DVD Talk God
 
kvrdave's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 86,200
Originally Posted by Baron Of Hell
The best way to get over a relationship is to have sex with someone of the same sex, unless you are gay then you must have sex with someone of opposite sex.

Don't worry this won't make you gay or straight. Everyboddy does this kind of thing so just find a guy and go at him. By doing this you will see that you don't need any silly women with all their head games. You'll learn what being a man is all about and be able to become a better stronger person.

Its all about you, and loving you first. Once you know this you will see that stinky lady shouldn't be allowed breath the same air as you. She is on level way below you and should he on her hands and knees kissing your feet. So have sex with men until your level is high enough to see the truth.



Uhhhhh, no.
kvrdave is offline  

Thread Tools
Search this Thread

Archive Advertising Cookie Policy Privacy Statement Terms of Service

Copyright İ 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.