Other Talk "Otterville" plus Religion/Politics

Anyone a little too used to being single?

Old 02-06-06, 02:26 PM
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Anyone a little too used to being single?

And I don't mean being single and hooking up with a different girl every weekend either. Number of women I've hooked up with in 21 years= 1(although she was gorgeous). Back in Middle School and High School I always had terrible acne so girls would avoid me like the ebola virus. I guess I just got used to it. I'm not particulary depressed about it. My roomate is "in love" as he says, but his wife to be doesn't know that he has cheated on her with two different women. So by looking at people around me it really doesn't seem to be a bad position to be in.
It just seems that when a beautiful girl goes out of her way to be nice I just seem to go out of my way to make her dislike me. Doesn't seem right to me. Anyway I'm just ranting. Anyone who can relate please stop by. Thanks.
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Old 02-06-06, 02:42 PM
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Ive been single as long as I can remember, and Ive gone through some strange phases but as I get older several things have been happening:

--- Women get stranger (I meet weirder women)
I have a few posts in here of the wackos that I meet--usually through unconventional means. My standards for physical beauty seem to be met but lately they've all been clinically insane.

--- Women start making sexual advances on me
Im no hunchback of Notre Dame but usually in the past Ive had to make all the moves. Lately women want to rush to get physical and Im just not that kind of guy.

--- Old flames stalk me
I always attract the wrong kind.

So, Im determined to stay single for awhile. I think the kind of girl I like wants nothing to do with me.
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Old 02-06-06, 02:54 PM
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I am 40 and have been single most of my adult life. I've never been married, although I did live with somebody for five years. The rest of the time I have lived alone since I was 20 and I thank God for it. I seem to attract horrible people, so it's better for everyone if I stay single.

Besides, my three cats would not be willing to share my attention with anyone. They're resentful enough of having to share it with each other.
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Old 02-06-06, 03:10 PM
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Also 40 & single and perfectly okay with that. That datin' business is lame as hell.
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Old 02-06-06, 03:14 PM
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I'm 26 and have had one serious relationship that lasted about 10 months in total. Sometimes I feel like I need somebody but then I hang out with friends that have girlfriends and that feeling goes away quickly. I guess I like to do what I want when I want and if you are with somebody and things get serious I'm going to be waking up and looking at her and thinking, "fuck, now I'm suppose to spend all my free time with her?" To me there is nothing very appealing about it once you get past the sex.
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Old 02-06-06, 03:26 PM
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Hello, my name is Chris and I will be 45 in April. I have been single my whole life, never been in a serious relationship (I am attracted to the wrong kind of women, married, boyfriend, etc.), never had a Valentine's, haven't been in love since 1985 and have been out on kind of a date, once, in the last 15 years.

That being said, I hate being single, I despise it. I have wanted to find the perfect woman (for me) and fall in love since I was 18. I should have had 2 or 3 kids by now, the oldest in their late teens or early 20's. But sometimes when you want something so much, you screw it all up for yourself.

Plus, God knows me only too well and wouldn't submit any woman he created to live with me!

But, I had 20 people over for the Super Bowl yesterday, many of them hot 20 somethings , so as long as I continue to offer my 60" tv, food and drink, they'll hang out with me.

Plus, I'm a drummer in our Christian Worship Band, so all of the hot young ladies in the audience must be drooling over me... they must!

But they just picked up my 60", to repair it for the next 2 weeks, so now I can't even brag about the size of my tv to the women I meet. I am a pathetic example of God's Creation gone bad!

Chris
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Old 02-06-06, 03:27 PM
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It's all about finding the right one....soon as you do that, everything falls into place.
Sure we can always argue about the pro's and cons', but there's more to it than sex.....right?
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Old 02-06-06, 04:01 PM
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*A LITTLE?*

I spend half my time as a desperately lonely hermit. Problem is, I spend the other half as a desperately *committed* hermit.
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Old 02-06-06, 04:09 PM
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Originally Posted by Mopower
and things get serious I'm going to be waking up and looking at her and thinking, "fuck, now I'm suppose to spend all my free time with her?" To me there is nothing very appealing about it once you get past the sex.
Well then... I think you're just missing out on having a good relationship.
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Old 02-06-06, 04:12 PM
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Originally Posted by mrpayroll
Plus, I'm a drummer in our Christian Worship Band, so all of the hot young ladies in the audience must be drooling over me... they must!
In that type of band, drooling is pretty much all you can expect.
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Old 02-06-06, 04:27 PM
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well im not so sure. Some of the most depraved slutty women Ive met would be right at home in church with Chris.
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Old 02-06-06, 04:28 PM
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Originally Posted by eXcentris
In that type of band, drooling is pretty much all you can expect.
Hey! Not all songs have to be crazy rock and roll songs. Plus, they are taking it easy on me right now while I recuperate from my surgery. So, if we lose a couple of people to sleep during our songs, I'm okay with that!

Chris
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Old 02-06-06, 05:24 PM
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Originally Posted by Save Ferris
well im not so sure. Some of the most depraved slutty women Ive met would be right at home in church with Chris.

#'s please!

Chris
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Old 02-06-06, 09:42 PM
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I have a buddy who velcroed his toilet seat up. Hes a little too used to being single.
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Old 02-06-06, 10:22 PM
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It is all a state of mind. I choose to be single, and sometimes I think that I'm missing out on something (many of my friends are married now, or on the fast track towards it), but it is a "The Grass Is Always Greener" scenario. I have become very comfortable with my single-dom. If I want to cancel a night out or vice versa, I don't have to explain it to anyone....I just do it. I retain "Home Bed Advantage", so I don't need to be the visiting team in my own bed. There is plenty of time to settle down and find something more permenant, but I think at my age (26 in march), I'd rather concentrate on myself and have fun on my own time table, without having to take into account someone else's. You can 'date' without having a g/f. Weekends become trial runs, and seasons provide variety.

It can sometimes feel selfish, but if I want to raise family right, I need to work on myself and get my 'house in order'. I've never had a problem attracting women, i'm just working on finding a woman that makes the cut for sanity, personality, and looks. 2 out of 3 is awesome for baseball.....but isn't for a g/f.

-p

Last edited by NotThatGuy; 02-06-06 at 10:24 PM.
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Old 02-06-06, 10:24 PM
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Originally Posted by RoQuEr
I have a buddy who velcroed his toilet seat up. Hes a little too used to being single.
he must have a giant ass to not fall in when he goes #2.
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Old 02-06-06, 10:41 PM
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You'll find out that the right one will show up when you least expect it...

...Happened to me.
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Old 02-06-06, 10:57 PM
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Well if your not getting laid or very seldom, yeah singleness can suck.. but as long as you get some every once in awhile, you can appreciate the benefits... Most of those 'happy couples' out there really aren't that happy.. don't beat yourself up trying to be one of them. If the right person comes along then great ! Just don't be depressed because it hasn't happened yet..

Oh yeah...37 here, 1 'doesn't even count' marriage, a 4 year live in relationship, few 6 mo-1 year ones and a quite a few very short ones.... seen the spectrum, don't get desprate and settle..
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Old 02-07-06, 04:31 AM
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I enjoy being single, but am usually not. The best thing about being single is you know everything is the way you left it. You don't have to worry about if there is any peanut butter left, if you'll get the covers when you go to bed, and who left the lights on. On the other hand, being in a relationship means you can hold out until someone else empties the dishwasher.
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Old 02-07-06, 05:25 AM
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Originally Posted by mndtrp
I enjoy being single, but am usually not. The best thing about being single is you know everything is the way you left it. You don't have to worry about if there is any peanut butter left, if you'll get the covers when you go to bed, and who left the lights on. On the other hand, being in a relationship means you can hold out until someone else empties the dishwasher.
aside from the covers that just describes living with roomates!
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Old 02-07-06, 06:34 AM
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Interestingly (is that a word?) enough, I am kind of the opposite. Granted, I was 25 before I even started having relationships. I needed to focus on myself before attempting to share myself with someone else. Since then I've managed to be in a serious relationship ever since. Though my intentions were good, I think a small part of it was just to "have" someone and I was afraid of being alone-(which doesn't make sense). I am constantly amazed by how much one can learn about themselves while in a relationship. Having said that, I think you can learn just as much about yourself being single too. The key is taking mental notes, and learning as you go. You have to find a balance, and as my current relationship unfortunately seems to be coming to a close, I am consciously not going to jump right into another one, but focus on myself once again and not be worried that I'll be alone my whole life.

As someone already mentioned, it happens when you least expect it, not when you're looking. It is amazing though that so many people don't realize that many times the reason their relationships fail, or never even begin is that they refuse to confront their own issues. If you want to find that special someone, remember the best way to sell yourself, is to be at peace with yourself.

Last edited by woofman; 02-07-06 at 09:10 AM.
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Old 02-07-06, 07:04 AM
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I was married in 2003 for 11 months. Divorced now, not due to any actions of my own.

Perfectly happy with being single at 37. If the right woman comes along I may get married again, but I'm not going to rush into it just to be married.
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Old 02-07-06, 07:21 AM
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I really believe there are very few people who 'choose' to be single once they become adults. Surely they exist, but in most cases they have not found someone they are interested in who is also interested in them. Or if they find that person they've just somehow really really fucked up their chance .

My only insight is, I've learned that people who stay single for a long while really ossify. They don't handle having to live with people that well. Seriously, as you get older, if you're still single, get a roommate or something, if you aspire to have a partnering relationship with someone. Otherwise, you're really not going to be comfortable living with someone.
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Old 02-07-06, 07:49 AM
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Originally Posted by Jam Master Jay
aside from the covers that just describes living with roomates!
Not much of a difference, really. I've had female roomates for quite a while, since I don't like living with guys. Sometimes I have relationships with them, sometimes I don't.
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Old 02-07-06, 08:56 AM
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Originally Posted by Bushdog
I really believe there are very few people who 'choose' to be single once they become adults. Surely they exist, but in most cases they have not found someone they are interested in who is also interested in them. Or if they find that person they've just somehow really really fucked up their chance ..
I'm single because the only man I ever wanted to marry (when I was eighteen) didn't want to marry me. And the only women I've ever been involved with were control freaks, and so am I, so my relationships with them were disasters.

So yeah, while there've been times when I really wanted to be with somebody, the times that I have been more or less proved I'm better off alone. Maybe I call being single a choice because it's easier than saying I was rejected by the only man I ever really loved. But on the other hand, I have been a loner type of person since childhood -- maybe it really was meant to be.

Originally Posted by Bushdog
My only insight is, I've learned that people who stay single for a long while really ossify. They don't handle having to live with people that well. Seriously, as you get older, if you're still single, get a roommate or something, if you aspire to have a partnering relationship with someone. Otherwise, you're really not going to be comfortable living with someone.
No way Jose. Living alone is where it's at. I am a selfish, crotchety old bitch and I revel in it.
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