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Does it bother you when an EX moves on extremely fast?

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Does it bother you when an EX moves on extremely fast?

Old 01-29-06, 04:11 PM
  #1  
Li
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Does it bother you when an EX moves on extremely fast?

Does it bother you when someone you’ve dated for an extended period of time moves on extremely fast? Do you think it makes it harder?

A girl I’ve been dating for two and a half years broke if off last Tuesday night after I confronted her about her acting distant, and she had a date planned for that weekend by the following day. I know she didn’t have it planned beforehand, because had she, she wouldn’t have waited for me to confront her before ending it (she did this once before about a year ago, about a half hour after someone expressed interest in her; she didn't hesitate then, she wouldn't have hesitated now). I have a feeling she was the aggressor.

Now she’s acting as though she’s infatuated with this mystery guy. Anyone in my situation with any common sense would have completely distanced themselves from her, but it appears as though I have none (I keep reading profiles on AIM). This was my first serious girlfriend (and I was her first serious boyfriend) whom I cared a lot about, so I haven’t exactly been through this before.

She’s the kind of person who weighs her entire self-worth through the eyes of others, so I guess it doesn’t surprise me that she’s done this, but damn does it seem to be making it harder to move ahead (yes, I know it hasn’t even been a week and it’s normal). And yes, I’m intending to do what I should and not read anything else of hers from now on.

Anyone else been through something similar?



Edit: Fix type-o

Last edited by Li; 01-29-06 at 04:34 PM.
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Old 01-29-06, 04:15 PM
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How old is she?

You've been dating for 2.5 years and a year ago she went out on a date with another guy?
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Old 01-29-06, 04:21 PM
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Originally Posted by Bushdog
How old is she?

You've been dating for 2.5 years and a year ago she went out on a date with another guy?

We're both 21. We started dating right out of high school, went to the same college, and neither of us lived on campus. To be honest I'm suprised it lasted as long as it did.

And no, a year ago we broke up for about 3 days because some guy she was interested in asked her out. She continued to call me and we ended up getting back together.
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Old 01-29-06, 04:28 PM
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If she’s anything like she was when we first started dating, she’ll talk about her Ex nonstop, be all over him because she believes that’s the only way to someone’s heart, and will confess her love for him after a month. And if he has any sense he’ll run the other way.
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Old 01-29-06, 04:46 PM
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Originally Posted by Li
And no, a year ago we broke up for about 3 days because some guy she was interested in asked her out. She continued to call me and we ended up getting back together.
Sounds like since it didn't work out with that guy she was interested in, she ended up settling for you. She's probably one of those girls that always has to have a boyfriend. Immediately after one relationship ends another one begins, and if she wants to cheat she breaks it off for 3 days so it's not technically cheating.
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Old 01-29-06, 05:03 PM
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Originally Posted by Li
She’s the kind of person who weighs her entire self-worth through the eyes of others....
Say no more....there is your answer. With this kind of person, she may call you up when she crashes and burns because you are 'safe'. Don't be an idiot and entertain any ideas. If you really need to get laid...go for it, but don't let her get comfy b/c she'll just drop you when the next person shows interest.

-p
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Old 01-29-06, 05:03 PM
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Originally Posted by Rockmjd23
Sounds like since it didn't work out with that guy she was interested in, she ended up settling for you. She's probably one of those girls that always has to have a boyfriend. Immediately after one relationship ends another one begins, and if she wants to cheat she breaks it off for 3 days so it's not technically cheating.

I wouldn't say that. She did really like the guy (they're both going into pharmacy), and he was still interested in going out with her (he called her a few times). So I wouldn't say she "settled".

I believe she gave up a lot to be with me, whether she really had to or not. She had a terrible time keeping in touch with friends when we were together, even though I encouraged her to. She called me three times a day instead. I think it would have made more sense to focus on them and herself rather than some new relationship, but it's her choice.

I can already tell she’s smothering the guy, whoever he is. Whether he likes that or not I don’t know. I'm not hopping she comes back to me. I just hope this other guy gets wise and lets her be on her own for a while.
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Old 01-29-06, 05:09 PM
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Heck, it's been over 5 years now and I have since married, and I STILL hope my last ex is alone and unhappy.
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Old 01-29-06, 05:10 PM
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Originally Posted by pedagogue
Say no more....there is your answer. With this kind of person, she may call you up when she crashes and burns because you are 'safe'. Don't be an idiot and entertain any ideas. If you really need to get laid...go for it, but don't let her get comfy b/c she'll just drop you when the next person shows interest.

-p
I wasn’t getting laid anyway! The last time was 3 months ago and it was six months before that. But I couldn't complain because we both lived at home, not exactly a lot of privacy. She was making less and less effort to find time toward the end though.
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Old 01-29-06, 05:15 PM
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Eh, go find yourself some meaningless sex. I'd suggest a sorority.

-p
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Old 01-29-06, 05:19 PM
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Originally Posted by pedagogue
Eh, go find yourself some meaningless sex.
Why are you suggesting marriage?

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Old 01-29-06, 06:02 PM
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civic EX drivers are the suck, they should drive slower.

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Old 01-29-06, 06:18 PM
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Originally Posted by BadlyDrawnBoy
civic EX drivers are the suck, they should drive slower.

I would think Civic SI drivers would drive faster?
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Old 01-29-06, 06:26 PM
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Honestly, Li she is young and your relationship wasn't a particularly "real" adult one. She can move on fast because the relationship meant very little to her.
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Old 01-29-06, 06:39 PM
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Originally Posted by Bushdog
Honestly, Li she is young and your relationship wasn't a particularly "real" adult one. She can move on fast because the relationship meant very little to her.
It would seem that way to some people, wouldn't it? But honestly, what makes one relationship more "real" than another? The fact that we didn't sleep together all that often do to circumstances? Our age?

And I don't believe it meant little to her. Perhaps toward the end, but that can happen to any relationship, and often does. The fact that I as a person mean very little to her now is what I don't quite understand.
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Old 01-29-06, 06:39 PM
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The answer is obvious. She was cheating on you.

D
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Old 01-29-06, 06:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Derrich
The answer is obvious. She was cheating on you.

D
Now that would shock me. She may have been cheating emotionally but when she would have had the time with work and school, and the fact that she was calling me all the time; she's not the kind to lead a double life.
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Old 01-29-06, 07:09 PM
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Originally Posted by Li
Now that would shock me. She may have been cheating emotionally but when she would have had the time with work and school, and the fact that she was calling me all the time; she's not the kind to lead a double life.
Never under estimate the ability of an unhappy woman. Sex for some women is as easy as walking up to a guy and saying, "You, me, now?" Sure there might be some problems with emotions, but she is young and needy, so there is plenty of time for therapy then.

And to answer your question....at 21, sex can be a once a week thing, or a 3-4x a day thing. I'm just sayin'......

-p
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Old 01-29-06, 07:24 PM
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I'm pretty sure I was just making her life a living hell and didn't realize it.

Last edited by Li; 01-29-06 at 08:00 PM.
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Old 01-29-06, 07:36 PM
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Get over it & move on!

Don't give it another thought unless she calls you wanting to get back together. Sleep with her and tell her that the sex was not as good as you remember and you found someone else (more mature/experienced). Then call her "other" BF & let him know what she just did.

Seriously, moving on is the best thing you can do! Don't cave it!

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Old 01-29-06, 07:59 PM
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I honestly don't believe she'll ever call/speak to me again, and it's probably better that way. Every single one of my family and friends thought she was worthless, and in time I'll believe the same. But god damnit, why the hell did I just read about her "magical evening"?
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Old 01-29-06, 08:03 PM
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Post her "magical evening"....I bet it is completely exaggerated and she'll crash and burn.

-p
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Old 01-29-06, 08:04 PM
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Originally Posted by pedagogue
Post her "magical evening"....I bet it is completely exaggerated and she'll crash and burn.

-p
Alright:

Last night was one of the best nights that I have had in a long time. I'm genuinely feeling happy to be me and I'm not worried about all the little things like I used to be. I feel like I'm going back to being the person I was before, which feels great. I hope that all of this happiness continues, and I hope that I get the chance to have some more great dates like I had last night. It truly was magical.
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Old 01-29-06, 08:14 PM
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Obligatory:

:nopics:
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Old 01-29-06, 08:29 PM
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You know, my brother has this friend that my Ex was extremely jealous of. I think it had to do with the fact that she was a younger, prettier girl with the same name. Anyway, it may have been childish, but I thought it would be funny to get some suggestive pictures (posing together, looking happy) with her and post them on my facebook account. Unfortunately she was out of town this weekend. But I knew if there was anything that would have gotten under that girls skin that would have been it. Again, childish, but it would have been funny IMO.
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