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Give to family missionaries when you don't believe?

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Give to family missionaries when you don't believe?

Old 01-26-06, 04:00 PM
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Give to family missionaries when you don't believe?

My somewhat close cousin just got married to a guy who is set to do mission work for his career (India). But first they are going on a short term trip to Peru in April and have sent us a letter requesting a donation. I'm torn about what to do. I'm agnostic now... a little bit testy about religious matters. My wife is still a believer (not in an annoying way... like most of the Christians on this board). Many years ago I went on these short term trips and have firsthand knowledge on what goes on. Yes, part of them do involve helping people, but by far the main goal is conversion.

How would you feel giving money to a family member when you don't believe in what they are doing? In the past I would probably donate $50.00, but I think I'll end up making a deal with my wife and give half that. It's going to be even harder when I get a letter next year asking for long term help for their career in India. I'll probably be more stern then.

I have no problem donating money to charities I believe in.
Old 01-26-06, 04:03 PM
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I guess you need to weigh the perceived perception of trying to convert the world against trying to help your family out.....
Old 01-26-06, 04:06 PM
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Originally Posted by atlantamoi
(not in an annoying way... like most of the Christians on this board).


Watching thread get derailed in ..3...2...1.....

Old 01-26-06, 04:06 PM
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Need to clarify something above! I meant most of the Christians on this board are NOT annoying. Meant my wife is not annoying and neither are you guys.

edit... Green, we posted at the same time.
Old 01-26-06, 04:07 PM
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Fuck that.

If you're wife wants to give, though, I'd say you're fucked.
Old 01-26-06, 04:08 PM
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Originally Posted by Green Jello


Watching thread get derailed in ..3...2...1.....


Yeah, I had to bite my tongue.....
Old 01-26-06, 04:09 PM
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I'm an atheist and I'd give in a New York minute. Always happy to help close family out. Unless the money was going to finance baby-eating trips or somesuch, it's fine with me.
Old 01-26-06, 04:16 PM
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What kind of work are they going to be doing?

I've done a lot of missionary work throughout the world, and even though it was all based out of various Christian organizations, none of it was evangelical work - IOW, we weren't there to "convert" anyone. All we did was work and get to know the people there - that was all. I've done various projects from building wells, schools, hospitals and working with orphans and spending time with sick people in clinics.

I was able to fund myself, so I never asked for donations - but if I feel that someone I know is going to be doing good work for disadvantaged people, I will try to help out.
Old 01-26-06, 04:16 PM
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Give the $50. It's Family - she just got married (so justify it as an extention of your wedding gift)
Old 01-26-06, 04:20 PM
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Originally Posted by slop101
What kind of work are they going to be doing?

....but if I feel that someone I know is going to be doing good work for disadvantaged people, I will try to help out.
I do know that they will definitely be witnessing to people. And I think whatever construction work they do would be to help build more churches. I'm totally up for helping poor people in places like that, but not if it's 100% evangelical.
Old 01-26-06, 04:25 PM
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I definitely wouldn't give them anything. You don't agree with what the money would be used for, why would you give?
Old 01-26-06, 04:28 PM
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Originally Posted by TracerBullet
I definitely wouldn't give them anything. You don't agree with what the money would be used for, why would you give?
Family peace. Mainly with my wife. It's hard to totally understand the situation if you haven't been in my shoes. But, of course, there is give and take in many marital situations, yeah?
Old 01-26-06, 04:29 PM
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I wouldn't, but I make it a rule not to give to religious organizations.
Old 01-26-06, 04:31 PM
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Originally Posted by atlantamoi
Family peace. Mainly with my wife. It's hard to totally understand the situation if you haven't been in my shoes. But, of course, there is give and take in many marital situations, yeah?
I guess. I still wouldn't. Then again, I (and my boyfriend) don't like most of our family.

Why can't you explain to your wife why you don't want to contribute? Is she really that unreasonable?
Old 01-26-06, 04:35 PM
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Originally Posted by TracerBullet

Why can't you explain to your wife why you don't want to contribute? Is she really that unreasonable?
She could ask the same of him if he refuses to give.
Old 01-26-06, 04:40 PM
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Originally Posted by TracerBullet
Why can't you explain to your wife why you don't want to contribute? Is she really that unreasonable?
No, she's not unreasonable at all, but I don't think she'll be too happy if I put my foot down and say, "No giving at all." She also sees them as family and giving or not would be a reflection on BOTH of us.
Old 01-26-06, 04:40 PM
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Originally Posted by cdollaz
She could ask the same of him if he refuses to give.
That's why I think I'll just give a little.
Old 01-26-06, 04:42 PM
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Even as a Christian I have problems with evangelical work - if someone wants to hear about it and asks, that's all well and good. But forcing someone into it: "I'll build you this clinic, but first, let me tell you about my God" - I find this practice deceptive and reprehensible.

And in this day and age, really, who doesn't know about Jesus?
Old 01-26-06, 04:43 PM
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I don't share the religious beliefs of the Salvation Army, but I still give them some change at Christmas. Even if I didn't agree with them, I think I could come up with a little money for a family member, especially if it made things easier around the house.
Old 01-26-06, 04:44 PM
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Consider it a Christmas gift to them and an insurance policy against making your whole family mad. In your letter you give to them make it very very clear that it's for their use for the trip, not necessarily about the church or their work. That always limits your involvement to personal use.

If $50 would cause financial problems, then tell them you can't do it right now but you wish them best of luck.
Old 01-26-06, 04:46 PM
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I guess I just don't get this whole "family obligation" thing. I like some members of my family and choose to associate with them. Other ones I can't stand and have nothing to do with. If they're going to get mad because you refuse to give them money, well...
Old 01-26-06, 04:49 PM
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Originally Posted by slop101
But forcing someone into it: "I'll build you this clinic, but first, let me tell you about my God" - I find this practice deceptive and reprehensible.
"Sure, you can spend a 4-day weekend at our resort-class beach villa. But first, let us tell you about exciting opportunities in the market of time-sharing!"

Sounds familiar.
Old 01-26-06, 04:53 PM
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Originally Posted by TracerBullet
I guess I just don't get this whole "family obligation" thing. I like some members of my family and choose to associate with them. Other ones I can't stand and have nothing to do with. If they're going to get mad because you refuse to give them money, well...
I love my family. Every single one of 'em. They wouldn't get mad, but probably a little disappointed. To be honest, if I was single I'd probably send them an email and explain exactly why I won't be giving (so they'll know in the future as well). I guess this actually has more to do with appeasing my babe.
Old 01-26-06, 05:03 PM
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Heck, I believe and sometimes I still don't give money to family/friends doing missionary work.
Old 01-26-06, 05:05 PM
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$50.00 is a small price to pay for one's peace with their wife ...

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