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Thieves steal $75k of bull semen

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Thieves steal $75k of bull semen

Old 11-02-05, 04:44 PM
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Thieves steal $75k of bull semen

From MSNBC:

WOLFSVILLE, Md. - A rural Maryland cattle rancher Eric Fleming is offering a reward in hopes of finding who took his entire supply of bull semen, valued at $75,000.

The Frederick County farmer discovered the theft Sunday evening after returning from a day trip to his farm in Wolfsville.

The cache, which included the valuable semen of several prominent sires, comprised Fleming's entire supply.

Fleming has spread the word about the theft on Web sites of interest to cattle breeders and the sheriff's office is investigating.

The semen was stored in six canisters that were taken from a refrigeration tank — apparently by someone who brought one of their own.
Old 11-02-05, 04:47 PM
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I hope no one mistakes any those canisters for a huge vanilla milkshake
Old 11-02-05, 04:50 PM
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Primary suspect:

Old 11-02-05, 04:50 PM
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The real question is just what does the thief plan on doing with all that baby bull batter?

Say that three times fast.



I say we ax Miss Cleo.
Old 11-02-05, 05:09 PM
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they are taking it somewhere where it is legal to film weird porn
Old 11-02-05, 05:24 PM
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Cum again?
Old 11-02-05, 05:53 PM
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By the way, "special sauce" is bull semen. Just my idea of a little joke.

--Ray Kroc's last words


(paraphrased from an old issue of National Lampoon)
Old 11-02-05, 05:54 PM
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Old 11-02-05, 06:14 PM
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a) who has that much bull semen?

b) who has ANY bull semen? and why?

c) who values it at $75k?

d) who would buy bull semen for that much?

e) who would buy ANY bull semen?

f) who would know where to steal bull semen?

g) who would steal bull semen?

h) what do you do with that much bull semen?

i) is there a black market for bull semen?

j) do people want to purchase bull semen illegally?

this could go on forever...so many bull semen questions yet to be answered.
Old 11-02-05, 06:22 PM
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That's a lot of bukkake.
Old 11-02-05, 06:26 PM
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Originally Posted by atari2600
so many bull semen questions yet to be answered.
I'm thinking cattle ranchers for most of those questions.
Old 11-02-05, 06:48 PM
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[urban legend] They were running low:



[/urbanlegend]
Old 11-02-05, 06:50 PM
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Step 1: Steal bull semen
Step 2:
Step 3: Profit!
Old 11-02-05, 08:36 PM
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Originally Posted by Groucho
Primary suspect:

Damn you, Groucho. I almost had a burrito come out my nose



Last edited by TomOpus; 11-02-05 at 08:50 PM.
Old 11-02-05, 08:42 PM
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Originally Posted by atari2600
a) who has that much bull semen?

b) who has ANY bull semen? and why?

c) who values it at $75k?

d) who would buy bull semen for that much?

e) who would buy ANY bull semen?

f) who would know where to steal bull semen?

g) who would steal bull semen?

h) what do you do with that much bull semen?

i) is there a black market for bull semen?

j) do people want to purchase bull semen illegally?

this could go on forever...so many bull semen questions yet to be answered.
City folk

a, b) ranchers, to impregnate their cows. They rarely let them do it the natural way because the bulls can injure their cows, which costs them money.

c) There are ranchers that make money selling bull semen to other ranchers who don't have bulls. The better the stock of the semen, the more money it will command. That value would be based on how many cows it could impregnate.

d) Large ranchers, or several smaller ranchers in a consortium.

e) see above

f) the hired help who knows what it is worth.

g) you would sell it to ranchers.

h) make baby cows.

i) it makes sense that there is.

j) yes, if it means they will save money.


I hope you people really don't know how things like this works. It is no different that stud fees for dogs, horses, etc.
Old 11-02-05, 10:03 PM
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KVRDave, the one thing that atari2600 didn't ask that probably should have been is "who collects the semen and how"
Old 11-03-05, 01:01 AM
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It involves a lot of whiskey and a double dog dare.
Old 11-03-05, 01:13 AM
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well naughty Johnny...sorry to break it to you...you weren't milking it
Old 11-03-05, 06:51 AM
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Someone should tell that cattle rancher to keep an eye on ebay.
Old 11-03-05, 06:53 AM
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I gotta call bullshit on this one! No wait a minute.... nevermind
Old 11-03-05, 07:02 AM
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Guy I was in the Army with used to be in FFA told me this story.... one day they were collecting bull semen... this involves putting some kind of electric prod up the bull's ass that makes him 'deliver'... guess this takes a few minutes, they went outside to have a smoke and got distracted for awhile, by the time they came back in the bull was on it's knees twitching and making wierd sounds....
Old 11-03-05, 10:43 AM
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Originally Posted by naughty jonny
KVRDave, the one thing that atari2600 didn't ask that probably should have been is "who collects the semen and how"

There are several ways to obtain this specimen from animals. There is prostate manipulation, either manually or with a elctronic device and there is also surrogate "animals" that the animal mounts and a person with a large coned glove inserts over the animal's member and collects the sample.
I studied to go into the zoological field, have never participated in any of the above.
Old 11-03-05, 01:54 PM
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That's Bull Frappe.
Old 11-04-05, 04:53 PM
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Originally Posted by kvrdave
City folk

a, b) ranchers, to impregnate their cows. They rarely let them do it the natural way because the bulls can injure their cows, which costs them money.

c) There are ranchers that make money selling bull semen to other ranchers who don't have bulls. The better the stock of the semen, the more money it will command. That value would be based on how many cows it could impregnate.

d) Large ranchers, or several smaller ranchers in a consortium.

e) see above

f) the hired help who knows what it is worth.

g) you would sell it to ranchers.

h) make baby cows.

i) it makes sense that there is.

j) yes, if it means they will save money.


I hope you people really don't know how things like this works. It is no different that stud fees for dogs, horses, etc.
whoa...thanks for the info. it was killing me for days trying to find the answers
Old 11-04-05, 04:58 PM
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