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Your Very Own Halloween Story

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Your Very Own Halloween Story

Old 10-10-05, 05:09 PM
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Your Very Own Halloween Story

I stumbled on this site awhile back, which will kill about 2 minutes of your precious time:

http://blackdog.net/cgi-bin/story/halloween.cgi



Here's an example from some idiot:

One spooky Halloween night, Shitty Shit Shit went trick or treating dressed as a Drunk Lesbian Hooker, Shitty Shit Shit's favorite halloween costume. "Where is Jo Jo Shithead?" Shitty Shit Shit wondered unhappily, tired of waiting. "Jo Jo Shithead is late, and I can't go trick or treating alone!"

Just then, a bush near Shitty Shit Shit started to move! The leaves trembled and a cry rang out. Shitty Shit Shit was frightened but bravely said, "Who's there?" Suddenly, a Naked Playboy Playmate jumped from behind the bush! The Naked Playboy Playmate shouted, "Boo! Guess who!" Shitty Shit Shit knew who it was right away and said, "Jo Jo Shithead, you silly thing. You scared me! Where have you been all this time?"

Laughing, Jo Jo Shithead said, "You're a scaredy cat! Sorry I'm late, but there was a problem with my costume and I couldn't meet you sooner. Let's go trick or treating. There'll be no candy left for us if we wait any longer." "That's okay," Shitty Shit Shit said. "Let's get started. I want some Halloween candy tonight!"

The black cat. . . Shitty Shit Shit suggested they go east first. Several houses looked promising that way, and Shitty Shit Shit remembered that the folks in one particular house gave out great candy and were fun to visit. However, just as they started walking, Shitty Shit Shit and Jo Jo Shithead heard a scary howling noise. "What's that?" Jo Jo Shithead said, shivering. All of a sudden a black cat ran out from under some bushes very close to their feet. The cat streaked in front of them, running very fast across the lawn. Frightened, Shitty Shit Shit and Jo Jo Shithead screamed in terror! Nothing else was in sight, and all was quiet. "It's only a silly old cat," Shitty Shit Shit said. "It won't hurt us." Jo Jo Shithead said with a nervous laugh, "I guess we're both scaredy cats!" "I guess we are!" Shitty Shit Shit agreed, laughing, too. "But let's get going. We'll never get any Halloween candy unless we knock on some doors tonight."

The scary house. . . Their hearts still pounding a little, Shitty Shit Shit and Jo Jo Shithead walked along the street. The first house they came to was creepy-looking and very old. It sat back from the street more than the other houses in the neighborhood. A long sidewalk lead up to a front porch that looked like it had seen better days. In the moonlight, the house looked deserted, but lights glowed through the windows. Jo Jo Shithead whispered, "I think I remember somebody telling me that this house is haunted." "No way," Shitty Shit Shit said, confidently pushing open the gate. Suddenly, a strong gust of wind rustled the leaves of the willow tree standing nearby and a loud crash came from the porch. Both friends jumped at the noise. "It's just the wind," Shitty Shit Shit said a little shakily. Although Shitty Shit Shit and Jo Jo Shithead felt a little nervous, they walked slowly through the creaky front gate and up the long sidewalk towards the front door.

The old stairs creaked as they climbed onto the porch. Lying on the floor of the porch they saw a broken flower pot. "That's what made the loud crash we heard," Shitty Shit Shit said. "See? There's nothing scary here." "Yeah, right," Jo Jo Shithead said, "Go ahead, Shitty Shit Shit. You knock on the door."

Just then Shitty Shit Shit and Jo Jo Shithead saw a large, strange shadow behind the wavy glass in the front door. Suddenly, the shadow started moving towards them! Before they could knock or even think, the door flew open! A large Dead Hooker stood before them! Shitty Shit Shit and Jo Jo Shithead shouted and jumped back with a start! Jo Jo Shithead turned to run away.

"Wait! Happy Halloween Drunk Lesbian Hooker and Naked Playboy Playmate!" the large Dead Hooker said, laughing. "Great costumes! Don't you two want some candy?" Jo Jo Shithead said, "Hey, I remember that voice! I know who you are! You're Fuckface!"

Fuckface said, smiling. "That's right, and you're Jo Jo Shithead. Welcome to my house. You and Shitty Shit Shit are my first guests tonight. How about some treats?"

Lots and lots of candy. . . A little while later, Shitty Shit Shit and Jo Jo Shithead called out "Thanks! Bye, Fuckface!" as they walked down the sidewalk, their trick or treat bags full of Halloween candy. Jo Jo Shithead said, "Shitty Shit Shit, you knew all along that was Fuckface's house, didn't you!" "Yes, I knew. The trick is on you!" Shitty Shit Shit said. "Fuckface is a friend of my folks and I've been to that house before. You know it isn't safe to trick or treat at a stranger's house, so that's why I suggested going there." "That's right," Jo Jo Shithead said. "It's better to be safe than sorry!"

So, that Halloween night Shitty Shit Shit and Jo Jo Shithead had a great time trick or treating. And they followed all the safety rules to make it home safely, too. "I can't wait until next year!" they said together, smiling big smiles. Then Shitty Shit Shit and Jo Jo Shithead walked home, happily planning their costumes for next year all the way.

The End
Old 10-10-05, 05:19 PM
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Old 10-10-05, 05:38 PM
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Old 10-10-05, 09:27 PM
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One year my some friends & I handed out little condiment packs stolen from Arby's over the course of a year for halloween. Dude who's house we were at had to clean eggs of his place the next day.
Old 10-10-05, 09:32 PM
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That story makes me cry.
Old 10-10-05, 09:32 PM
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Once upon a time, I wrote an Otter Halloween story entitled, "PUMPKINSTENCH" a while back, and some of the old timers 'round here may still remember that Loving tale of Holiday Horror! &

THEEK!

Last edited by The Edit King; 10-10-05 at 09:34 PM.
Old 10-11-05, 01:20 AM
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i got a rock
Old 10-11-05, 09:31 AM
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Originally Posted by Cameron
i got a rock
alright - tipping it in with some old school Charles Schulz...

Last edited by Pointyskull; 10-11-05 at 09:42 AM.
Old 10-11-05, 09:36 AM
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No T in Schulz.
Old 10-11-05, 09:43 AM
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Originally Posted by Charlie Goose
No T in Schulz.
Good Grief! (fixed)
Old 10-11-05, 11:05 AM
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My brain got up and walked out of my head after reading this. Im not sure whats going on anymore.

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