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Dad died 5 years ago, Mom died a year ago. Man, I love onion rings.

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Dad died 5 years ago, Mom died a year ago. Man, I love onion rings.

Old 09-30-05, 04:01 PM
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Dad died 5 years ago, Mom died a year ago. Man, I love onion rings.

Friday is Onion Ring Day. Everyone knows it. The local deli gets hit hard on Friday. But I am a regular, so I go over. There are no onion rings. So I say to the deli lady....

"It's onion ring day, and yet there are no onion rings..." and I look sad.

She says they are being cooked and will just be a second. No big deal. But an older lady is waiting next to me as well. This is exactly how the conversation goes....

lady: I love onion rings.

kvrdave: Me too. ONION RING DAY!!! WHOOOO!!!!

lady: I get it from my mother.

kvrdave: Ah.

lady: She died, I don't have a mother any more.

kvrdave: Ahhhhh.

lady: Or a dad. He died 4 years ago.

kvrdave: Well.....you still got onion rings, so there's something to be happy about.


I pay quickly and bolt.

Why do people tell you these things? An attemp to ruin onion ring day? I think she is just plain crazy. Why would I possibly want to hear about this in a deli when it is clear that I just want onion rings?
Old 09-30-05, 04:03 PM
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My parents were both killed by onion rings just yesterday. Thanks for bringing it all rushing back, you insensitive bastard.
Old 09-30-05, 04:04 PM
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Clearly you reminded her of her father.
Old 09-30-05, 04:04 PM
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sounds like this should be a TEK thread
Old 09-30-05, 04:10 PM
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I think she was coming on to you, in code.
Old 09-30-05, 04:19 PM
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Should've invited her over for a little game of Onion Ring Toss.
Old 09-30-05, 04:21 PM
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Originally Posted by Charlie Goose
Should've invited her over for a little game of Onion Ring Toss.

Reminds me of that joke about how many donuts a guy can carry at a nudist colony.....


Old 09-30-05, 04:21 PM
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Originally Posted by Groucho
My parents were both killed by onion rings just yesterday. Thanks for bringing it all rushing back, you insensitive bastard.
Poisoned onions, or the Yeti's cousin, the giant Soinionsquash?
Old 09-30-05, 04:22 PM
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Originally Posted by VinVega
Poisoned onions, or the Yeti's cousin, the giant Soinionsquash?

Vidalias....................newb.....
Old 09-30-05, 04:25 PM
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Was she crazy hot or just crazy?
Old 09-30-05, 04:28 PM
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kvrdave: I'd like a double cheeseburger
cashier: My father's doing life in prison for a double homicide
kvrdave: and a large order of onion rings
cashier: I have large anal warts
kvrdave: and a chocolate shake
cashier: My daughter died yesterday from shaken baby syndrome
kvrdave: make that to go
Old 09-30-05, 04:29 PM
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Originally Posted by Numanoid
I think she was coming on to you, in code.
Yeah that "my parents are dead" code is really hot right now.
Old 09-30-05, 04:34 PM
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Originally Posted by kvrdave
Friday is Onion Ring Day.
I always thought it was Hawiian shirt day.
Old 09-30-05, 04:40 PM
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lady: I love onion rings.

Come on! The correct response is always "Because they smell like carrots"!
Old 09-30-05, 04:43 PM
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A simple "I have anal warts" will stop almost any conversation cold. Almost.
Old 09-30-05, 04:49 PM
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Thanks Dave... now I'm craving onion rings! Hmmm... where to go... Dairy Queen or Burger King?

I agree with your thoughts regarding the crazy shit people "throw" on you in the course of casual conversation. Idiots! I may start replying with stuff just as crazy.

Sonic
Old 09-30-05, 04:51 PM
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Come on big boy, how's a bouts you and I share a couple of beers and a plate of onion rings while I tell ya all about my dead parents?!

Old 09-30-05, 04:55 PM
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It's only a matter of time before someone posts a picture of a New Orleans looter with Onion Rings.....

guys?
Old 09-30-05, 04:58 PM
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Dave is....
Old 09-30-05, 04:58 PM
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Originally Posted by Bandoman
A simple "I have anal warts" will stop almost any conversation cold. Almost.
Unless they have anal warts themselves, then they'll want to talk about the best soothing creams to use. You know the conversation I'm talking about, Bando.
Old 09-30-05, 05:01 PM
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Originally Posted by Minor Threat
Reminds me of that joke about how many donuts a guy can carry at a nudist colony.....


Old 09-30-05, 05:44 PM
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The Circle Of Life
Old 09-30-05, 08:23 PM
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Originally Posted by Sonicflood
Dave is....
I have this shirt:
http://shop.eskimojoes.com/scripts/e...%20Tee%20(JORT)
Old 10-01-05, 12:03 AM
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Originally Posted by nazz
kvrdave: I'd like a double cheeseburger
cashier: My father's doing life in prison for a double homicide
kvrdave: and a large order of onion rings
cashier: I have large anal warts
kvrdave: and a chocolate shake
cashier: My daughter died yesterday from shaken baby syndrome
kvrdave: make that to go
Old 10-01-05, 02:38 AM
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Originally Posted by Charlie Goose
Should've invited her over for a little game of Onion Ring Toss.
I'd let those cool first...

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