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Let's help JPII out, did he perform a miracle for you?

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Let's help JPII out, did he perform a miracle for you?

Old 05-30-05, 03:40 PM
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Let's help JPII out, did he perform a miracle for you?

I'm not religious but since JPII was a good guy, let's help him out. We only need 2 miracles performed after his death and sainhood is in the bag! You need to prove it, so video would be great.

Vatican seeks papal miracle proof

The Catholic Church has invited people to submit evidence "in favour or against" the late Pope John Paul II's suitability to be a saint.

The Church needs signs of two miracles committed by John Paul II since his death in order to award him sainthood.

An edict inviting testimony was published over the weekend by the vicar for Rome, Cardinal Camillo Ruini.

Pope Benedict XVI has already waived a five-year waiting period before the sainthood process can begin.

Earlier this month, he said he would set the wheels in motion for his predecessor to be beatified with unprecedented speed.

'Sensational calls'

Cardinal Ruini's edict referred to the late Pope's "saintly fame" and "intense life of prayer".

It will be posted both in Rome and Krakow, in Poland, where Karol Wojtyla worked before he became Pope John Paul II.

Cardinal Ruini said he was responding to "sensational" calls for John Paul's sainthood.

At his funeral, pilgrims chanted "Santo subito!" or "Make him a saint now!" The edict said people could submit any private writings made by the previous Pope, including diary entries and manuscripts.

It is expected to take some time - possibly years - for the Church to gather all the relevant testimony.

It will also be looking for evidence that John Paul II has committed a miracle since his death, by interceding in response to a prayer.

Miracles attributed to saints often involve the unexplained healing of a medical condition.

If the miracle is verified by the Church, the candidate can be beatified. A second miracle is required after beatification for him or her to reach full sainthood.
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Old 05-30-05, 03:53 PM
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Isn't that one freaking odd deal left over from the Dark Ages.
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Old 05-30-05, 03:55 PM
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Hastening the downfall of the Soviet Union was a miracle to me.
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Old 05-30-05, 03:57 PM
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Dave, considering how well your "who wants to have sex with me" thread is going, you should do some more praying and report back later. Nevermind... homosexual sex... no miracle for you!
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Old 05-30-05, 03:58 PM
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Originally Posted by X
Hastening the downfall of the Soviet Union was a miracle to me.

He wasn't dead, so it doesn't count.
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Old 05-30-05, 03:59 PM
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Originally Posted by eXcentris
Dave, considering how well your "who wants to have sex with me" thread is going, you should do some more praying and report back later. Nevermind... homosexual sex... no miracle for you!

I am going to have to rely on pity sex from here on out.
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Old 05-30-05, 04:03 PM
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Originally Posted by kvrdave
He wasn't dead, so it doesn't count.
Oh yeah, I never quite figured out miracles.

So if I keep thinking of him and something "miraculous" happens I can attribute it to his causing the miracle?
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Old 05-30-05, 04:05 PM
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yep. And if Mother Theresa's sainthood is any indication, it doesn't even matter if everyone else disputes your claim.
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Old 05-30-05, 04:07 PM
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Originally Posted by kvrdave
I am going to have to rely on pity sex from here on out.
Wait a second...there are other kinds besides pity sex?
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Old 05-30-05, 04:08 PM
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Supposedly you need proof but I'd like to know how the heck anyone can prove that.

"JPII appeared to me in a puff of smoke and cured me from schizophrenia! Hmmm... wait... maybe that was Elvis..."
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Old 05-30-05, 04:12 PM
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JPII must have performed a miracle for the producers of American Idol, because I sure can't understand its popularity.
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Old 05-30-05, 04:17 PM
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Originally Posted by kvrdave
yep. And if Mother Theresa's sainthood is any indication, it doesn't even matter if everyone else disputes your claim.
Then it appears numerous baseball players have performed miracles for me. Probably not the kind the Church wants to hear about though.
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Old 05-30-05, 04:20 PM
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The Alien invasion from the planet Zorg was stopped miraculously. Just look outside and note the lack of Deathships in the sky or mutated humans to swell the Zorg ranks.

Also the sub shop is open today even though it is a holiday. Now I can get me a sandwich with miracle whip.
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Old 05-30-05, 04:58 PM
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It was a miracle he lived so motherf***ing long. Yes, I deem him a Saint.
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Old 05-30-05, 05:00 PM
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Originally Posted by muggins
Wait a second...there are other kinds besides pity sex?
Yep, there's hit and run sex
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Old 05-30-05, 05:01 PM
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He mysteriously appeared on a piece of toast last week and blessed me.

I considered selling it on ebay, but I was hungry.

Now I wish I'd saved it. It would have helped his case for sainthood.

Darn!
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Old 05-30-05, 05:02 PM
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Originally Posted by Canadian Bacon
Yep, there's hit and run sex
Wait, that's masturbation. At least for us guys.
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Old 05-30-05, 05:04 PM
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Originally Posted by DVD Polizei
Wait, that's masturbation. At least for us guys.
that's the 3rd kind of sex, otter sex.
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Old 05-30-05, 05:07 PM
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Well shit, I've been running into myself all the time and it gives me teh hawt, so I'm confused.
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Old 05-30-05, 07:46 PM
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Polish goalkeeper Jerzy Dudek, 117th minute in the European Champions League final. That save has to have been divine intervention. Plus JP2 was a Liverpool fan.
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Old 05-30-05, 07:50 PM
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You wouldn't by chance have video of that, would you.
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Old 05-30-05, 07:52 PM
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Why do I want to help Joe 6-pack out? They are the idiots buying up Fullscreen and creating a demand for non-OAR..
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Old 05-30-05, 09:04 PM
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He drove my wife even further from her Catholic upbringing. Since I didn't think that was possible, seems like a miracle to me.
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Old 05-30-05, 10:13 PM
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If the new Pope brings her back to the fold, you have serious problems.
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Old 05-30-05, 10:23 PM
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I'm still waiting for the next Pope - Pope Peter II
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