Other Talk "Otterville" plus Religion/Politics

So to have babies, do you have to touch weiners?

Old 05-21-05, 03:32 PM
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So to have babies, do you have to touch weiners?

Yes....this was the question that confronted me. First my son came to me and asked if you had to touch places where you go potty to have a baby. Being that I was watching the game, I said, "I'm not sure, but I know Mommy knows, so go ask her."

He goes in where she is and asks. I don't hear it all, but I do hear a few questions like, "Is that what you and Daddy did?" and "Kaylin said you have to touch weiners, is that true?"



I am dying in the other room. I hear my wife stutter, stammer, and once even say, "I don't want to answer than question".

So today we got the book to read to him all about how babies are born. It isn't the book my parents used, because it had actual photos of teenagers nude. Now that's still available in some books on the subject, but I can no longer be turned on by it.

The real fun will be talking to Kaylin's dad this week. I want to find out if they taught her that she has a weiner.

Ah, youth.
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Old 05-21-05, 03:33 PM
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Old 05-21-05, 03:37 PM
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Oh my. Just another morning in the life of kvrdave.
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Old 05-21-05, 03:43 PM
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Get your son this book. That's how I found out all that stuff 20 years ago.
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Old 05-21-05, 03:57 PM
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:nopics:

j/k
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Old 05-21-05, 04:02 PM
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Originally Posted by kvrdave
...because it had actual photos of teenagers nude...
Abercrombie & Fitch catalog?
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Old 05-21-05, 04:38 PM
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Originally Posted by Cartload
Get your son this book. That's how I found out all that stuff 20 years ago.
My parents bought that book, but after we had a brief conversation they realized I had my bases covered, so they tossed the book into the book pile, never to be seen again.

-pedagogue
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Old 05-21-05, 05:40 PM
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we had this gem on the bookshelf in my house:



Now that's a good book!!
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Old 05-21-05, 05:43 PM
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I read this one:



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Old 05-21-05, 06:34 PM
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It sounds like you didn't properly vaccinate your son against teh gay and he may be infected.. It may already be too late.
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Old 05-21-05, 06:54 PM
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Just leave the door open next time you and the wife go at it. The kids will get the picture.
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Old 05-21-05, 06:59 PM
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Yeah sure, then their children become voyeurs.
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Old 05-21-05, 08:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Joe Molotov
It sounds like you didn't properly vaccinate your son against teh gay and he may be infected.. It may already be too late.
Thanks. I just spit on my monitor.

I had "the talk" with my then 9 year old last year because I was pregnant and I knew she was like WTF!??. So I sat down with her and one of my anatomy books and explained it all to her in a very 'doctor' type of way. I totally grossed her out and I don't think she'll ever want to stray.
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Old 05-21-05, 08:37 PM
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Originally Posted by pedagogue
My parents bought that book, but after we had a brief conversation they realized I had my bases covered, so they tossed the book into the book pile, never to be seen again.
You nicely left out that this was just a week ago..
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Old 05-21-05, 08:53 PM
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Here's how I learned.



My dad showed me this with a play-by-play commentary.

Some people get the anatomy and science lesson, I got Howard Cosell's Wide World of Porn.

No, I'm not kidding.
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Old 05-22-05, 12:38 AM
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This reminds me of one of my favorite jokes

A teenage girl comes home from school and asks her mother, "Is it true; what Rita just told me? Babies come out of the same place where boys put their penises?"

"Yes, dear", replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter.

"But then when I have a baby, the teenager pondered, won't it knock all my teeth out?"
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Old 05-22-05, 12:57 AM
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Originally Posted by darkflounder
Here's how I learned.



My dad showed me this with a play-by-play commentary.

Some people get the anatomy and science lesson, I got Howard Cosell's Wide World of Porn.

No, I'm not kidding.
Did your father at any point say HE-COULD-GO-ALL-THE-WAY!!!
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Old 05-22-05, 01:13 AM
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Originally Posted by darkflounder
Here's how I learned.



My dad showed me this with a play-by-play commentary.

Some people get the anatomy and science lesson, I got Howard Cosell's Wide World of Porn.

No, I'm not kidding.
lol

I think it would be slightly uncomfortable if my dad and I watched porn...but I guess it would be better than having 'the talk'.

Funny story about my parents....they have always been cool with me about dating/relationships. They came to visit me during my frosh year of college, and it happened to be when my old g/f came to visit me also. We finish up with dinner and we are hanging out and I'm thinking they are going to get going, and my mom busts out with the, "so do you guys want to go see a movie or something". Before I could say a word, my father pulled my mom aside and said, "I think they have some catching up to do, is that right (my name)" As they were walking away my father looked back and gave me that "go do your family proud" look, and he threw in a wink. My dad freakin' rocks!

Speaking of 'doing your family proud', i'm off to do just that. 2:17am and not a care in the world!

-pedagogue

Last edited by NotThatGuy; 05-22-05 at 01:17 AM.
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Old 05-22-05, 01:15 AM
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Yeah, he doesn't even know your freakin' name
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Old 05-22-05, 10:50 AM
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Originally Posted by pedagogue
My dad freakin' rocks!
He obviosuly just wanted your hot gf. That or he wanted you to spill details later.
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Old 05-22-05, 11:12 AM
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Yeah, I remember how my Mom dealt with that issue. She got this weird booklet from the pediatrician, and left it on my bed. It had diagrams.

I was already aware of a lot of things, in a sort of objective way, having lived on a farm and seen chickens and dogs and cats mating, and eggs hatching and puppies being born. It just hadn't occured to me that PEOPLE did that too.
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Old 05-22-05, 11:26 AM
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The talk came moments after the 15th episode of Roseanne, "Nightmare on Oak Street," aired February 14, 1989.

This was the episode where Darlene got her period. I was going on ten (Darlene was 11), and I had no idea what she was talking about. I asked my mom, and mom got on her new computer (which back then had a black screen with orange text for all your DOS needs) and used a Paintshop-like application to draw reproductive organs, particularly for the female, and show me exactly how a period and baby-making takes place. She drew stuff inside the uterus with the "spraypaint tool," used the eraser function to show things "flushing out," and all the rest.

It was informative, it was unique, it was how I spent my Valentine's Day as a nine-year old.
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Old 05-22-05, 11:37 AM
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Originally Posted by MrX
This reminds me of one of my favorite jokes

A teenage girl comes home from school and asks her mother, "Is it true; what Rita just told me? Babies come out of the same place where boys put their penises?"

"Yes, dear", replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter.

"But then when I have a baby, the teenager pondered, won't it knock all my teeth out?"
you need to add that the girl would also ask her mom how would she know which boy is the father
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Old 05-23-05, 07:48 AM
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Originally Posted by cliffzig
Just leave the door open next time you and the wife go at it. The kids will get the picture.
[Robin Williams]"You're killing Mom!"[/Robin Williams]

Last edited by Alvis; 05-23-05 at 10:28 AM.
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Old 05-23-05, 07:55 AM
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just let the kid browse "adult talk".. they will teach him everything
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