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I went on my first date in 2 years it was a blind one though but I got full

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I went on my first date in 2 years it was a blind one though but I got full

Old 04-27-05, 05:13 PM
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I went on my first date in 2 years it was a blind one though but I got full

My buddy Toby who I eat lunch with everyday even my days off has a wife and I am jelus of that since I want a companionship and someone to talk to at night and get me things for christmas and thanksgiving (if you didn't know alreay I love getting presents, thats why I love ebay). Well he says his wife has a friend who is lonely and he wants to know if i wanted to go onto a blind date with her, I say sure but only if my friend pays for it since I have been walking around town with $15 in my wallet because that IRS said I owe them $800 I said bullshit but I still had to pay so now I am broke.

I go to this womens house and I say women because she is 30 and I am 23 she is old enough to be my mom! I knock on her door and there comes a women with only one arm and the sleeve bobby pinned to her shoulder plus she has 4 dogs so her home smells good awful and there is hair all over the place. I tell her lets go to Red Lobster, hey since my buddy is paying only the best, I don't tell her this. She says she like my car even though its a shit box in my mind. when we get to red lobster there is no wait and we order our meal and this women has the decincy to order 2 TWO 30 shrimps platters hell ever I just got the captains feat which is the all fried platter that taste sooooooo good yum yum I want another. Well being that this women is not up to my standards I automatically cut the movie out of our date that I had planned she dind't know though so it wasn't to bad for her.

After we ate I took her back home where i was told to come in for coffe but it was already 9pm and caffien is not good for a health nut like me late at night, I decline and drop her off at her doorstep and tell her I had a good time but what she didn't know was that my fingures where crossed behind my back. I called my friend on the way home and he was laughing at my night but I got the last laugh since I ordered 2 TWO desserts on his dime.
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Old 04-27-05, 05:15 PM
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lol, another DVDTalk character.
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Old 04-27-05, 05:16 PM
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Nice story
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Old 04-27-05, 05:16 PM
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I'll wait til we get a Drunk English ---> Normal English translator in here before I respond in any way.
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Old 04-27-05, 05:18 PM
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What is up with the influx of...chatty...posters lately?
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Old 04-27-05, 05:19 PM
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a women with only one arm and the sleeve bobby pinned to her shoulder.........She says she like my car even though its a shit box
You obviously drive an automatic.
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Old 04-27-05, 05:21 PM
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Is Aostin very far from Austin?
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Old 04-27-05, 05:23 PM
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Your mom is 7 years older than you??
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Old 04-27-05, 05:25 PM
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I think what he meant to say is that his mom plays drums for Def Leppard.
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Old 04-27-05, 05:29 PM
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Neat. Let us know how it turns out.

(You're going back for more, I can only assume)
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Old 04-27-05, 05:29 PM
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I'm looking forward to reading my 9 year old's writing assignment tonight. It's definitely going to be better than what I just read.
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Old 04-27-05, 05:29 PM
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Isn't one Dalvin enough?
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Old 04-27-05, 05:32 PM
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Shut up. Don't make fun of my friend Dalvin. He's in medical school, living with his porn star wife, driving his BMW X3.
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Old 04-27-05, 05:34 PM
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Dear (Uzbekistan Edition) Penthouse,

I never thought it would happen to me...
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Old 04-27-05, 05:47 PM
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Originally Posted by ChiTownAbs, Inc
Shut up. Don't make fun of my friend Dalvin. He's in medical school, living with his porn star wife, driving his BMW X3.
Amen, ChiTownAbs, Inc! Why do people keep making fun of him?!


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Old 04-27-05, 05:53 PM
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Originally Posted by WildcatLH
I'll wait til we get a Drunk English ---> Normal English translator in here before I respond in any way.
There's only so much one babelfish in the ear can accomplish.
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Old 04-27-05, 05:55 PM
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Wow, she's 7 years older than you and could be your mom!
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Old 04-27-05, 05:58 PM
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So she was an old lady (30) with one arm who ate enough food for 3 people... did she look like moshzilla skank girl too? Wonder why your friend thought you would be a good person for her to go out with... and seriously - she wanted you to come in for "coffee"... that means she wanted your dong. You turned down sex. She probably would've let you lick her stump too.

I'm going on my first date (sort of a blind date as well) in a long time as well tonight. Hopefully it turns out a little better than yours did.
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Old 04-27-05, 06:04 PM
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Originally Posted by X
I'm looking forward to reading my 9 year old's writing assignment tonight. It's definitely going to be better than what I just read.
I hear ya, X. My second grader writes and spells better than him...
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Old 04-27-05, 06:06 PM
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Good writing style. reminds of me of the good ole days of "Post your disastrous date experiences!" ahhhh, that was a good one.
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Old 04-27-05, 06:06 PM
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Who has a buddy named Toby? I can understand Robert, Mike, or Todd as buddies.....but Toby???
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Old 04-27-05, 06:07 PM
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Originally Posted by Trigger
I'm going on my first date (sort of a blind date as well) in a long time as well tonight. Hopefully it turns out a little better than yours did.

Please keep in mind that we expect a barely-coherent account of your date first thing in the morning.
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Old 04-27-05, 06:09 PM
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I call bullshit.
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Old 04-27-05, 06:09 PM
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Allright allright allright!


so is "good awful" good or bad?
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Old 04-27-05, 06:09 PM
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I love that story.
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