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Who's been married in a Catholic Church?

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Who's been married in a Catholic Church?

Old 04-15-05, 01:38 PM
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Who's been married in a Catholic Church?

I called the church today and they said I need to speak with a priest before they will reserve the wedding date. What does this entail?
Old 04-15-05, 01:38 PM
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Are you catholic?
Old 04-15-05, 01:41 PM
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Yes but I've haven't been much of a practicing Catholic the last few years.
Old 04-15-05, 01:55 PM
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The priest counsels with you and your fiancee. You just have to talk about how you feel about each other and show the priest that you are going to form a holy union. The most important part (at least to the priest), is that you agree to have children and raise those children Catholic.
Old 04-15-05, 01:59 PM
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My sister is getting married in a Catholic church next week. From what I understand, the counseling is a long process (several sessions with the priest), so you don't want to wait until the last minute.
Old 04-15-05, 02:01 PM
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Originally Posted by Brain Stew
The priest counsels with you and your fiancee. You just have to talk about how you feel about each other and show the priest that you are going to form a holy union. The most important part (at least to the priest), is that you agree to have children and raise those children Catholic.
My wife is Catholic, and I had to go through with this. I tried to play nice with him, but I eventually snapped and let him know that I am an athiest and I had no intention of going to church or raising mu kids Catholic. After that we had to go with a judge for the ceremony.
Old 04-15-05, 02:02 PM
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I'm married where ever I go.
Old 04-15-05, 02:02 PM
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...and on another note, premarital counseling can be a huge benefit for a lot of couples.
Old 04-15-05, 02:03 PM
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I was, I am not catholic my wife is. The priest councils you and asks about the children etc. This was a one time meeting. We also had to meet with a married couple, this was I believe once per week for a month, same type of thing they asked how we planned on handling things children/work/religion/household chores/etc. etc. Our wedding was not a full mass because I wasnt catholic.
Old 04-15-05, 02:04 PM
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Originally Posted by Brain Stew
The priest counsels with you and your fiancee. You just have to talk about how you feel about each other and show the priest that you are going to form a holy union. The most important part (at least to the priest), is that you agree to have children and raise those children Catholic.
yup

Our process wasn't long or anything. You also have to do a couples preparation class sponsered by a Catholic church as well. I think we paid like $80 for ours, luckily it was at the church and it was just on Sat and Sun.

while you're talking to the priest, make sure your future wife asks if there's any wedding dress restictions. Most churches just require something not too flashy, but other churches can be strict. One of my friend's churches required that her dress didn't show any of her back or be sleeveless. I think she just got a white shawl (sp?) to put around her.

Last edited by bigsoos; 04-15-05 at 02:07 PM.
Old 04-15-05, 02:05 PM
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Originally Posted by Groucho
My sister is getting married in a Catholic church next week. From what I understand, the counseling is a long process (several sessions with the priest), so you don't want to wait until the last minute.
We only had to meet w/ our priest once or twice, iirc. But you are correct - do not wait until the last minute. At my parish, a couple needs to register six months beforehand so there isn't any misunderstanding w/ the scheduling.

I still remember the look on my pastor's face when he was writing down our addresses - it took him a minute to realize they were exactly the same.
Old 04-15-05, 02:07 PM
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Well I don't think time is an issue. The date is for September of next year.
Old 04-15-05, 02:13 PM
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Answering the question, but not to the point: ME. And I am not Catholic. But we did Pre-Canaan and I agreed to raise the kids Catholic. I think I will join the Church someday...
Old 04-15-05, 02:37 PM
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Originally Posted by BCorbett
I had the same experience as Big Quasimodo. Once we made a donation and agreed to let them have our children, nobody cared if I was Catholic, Jewish, or chasing after Hale-Bopp....
Now, Now - that's a bit of poetic license...
Old 04-15-05, 02:47 PM
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Originally Posted by BCorbett
Be prepared to make a sizable donation...

Utterly and completely wrong.
Old 04-15-05, 03:02 PM
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Originally Posted by Nagheenanajar
I called the church today and they said I need to speak with a priest before they will reserve the wedding date. What does this entail?


You will have one or two set meetings with the priest. The first will be an introductory meeting with the both of you. (I met initially with my pastor alone, but a meeting with the both of us was requested).

You will then both be asked to take a test which takes a few hours. After the results come in, usually within a few weeks, a meeting will be scheduled for both you, your fiance, and the priest to go over the results. The basic idea is to help identify possible differences in expectations, and to ensure that both parties are fully aware of what the Sacrament of Marriage entails.

After that meeting, you will have a choice to either take a day long pre-Cannan class, attended by many couples, or meet on five or six separate occasions with a trained married couple for about an hour a session.

After completetion of these steps you will be likely be done. Many priests will usually speak to you a few times as you get closer to the date, even if it is just via a phone call. As you plan the actual ceremony, you will also likely speak to the priest a couple of times.

There really isn't too much to the whole thing. Good luck!
Old 04-15-05, 03:07 PM
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Originally Posted by Pharoh
There really isn't too much to the whole thing. Good luck!
I found it humorous that you ended with this whereas I had just finished literally cringing after reading each requirement.
Old 04-15-05, 03:10 PM
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Originally Posted by Duran
I found it humorous that you ended with this whereas I had just finished literally cringing after reading each requirement.


Yeah, but you are not a Catholic who had to sit through Benediction and the Litany of the Saints in Latin. Compared to those, it was a piece of cake.

Old 04-15-05, 03:13 PM
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Just get married in my church, it will be a lot less painful. We'll pass some snakes, drink some poison, and do some pretty keen dancing.
Old 04-15-05, 03:16 PM
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My wife is an ex-Catholic who was still a Catholic when we got married. She wouldn't promise to raise our kids (which we ended up not having) Catholic so her priest refused to marry us. That was for the best anyway. I, for one, was relieved. She really didn't care either. We got married by a rabbi with a priest officially equal with the rabbi in attendance outside in an arboretum in Madison.

(I don't think they necessarily still require that; even back then the policy was up to each diocese.).

(Edited to explain fully since I think some may have mistakenly thought my wife or I was "complaining.")

Last edited by movielib; 04-17-05 at 06:48 PM.
Old 04-15-05, 03:32 PM
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My wife and I looked into getting married in a Catholic church mainly because it was important to her mom. I'm an atheist and my wife is completely non-practicing. The priest brought up the counseling angle, but as soon as he made it clear he would not marry us unless I converted, I was out of there. So we went to Sydney, Australia instead and got married in the botanical rose gardens instead (secular ceremony

Michael
Old 04-15-05, 03:38 PM
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kvrdave's church sounds better and better every time he describes it.
Old 04-15-05, 04:10 PM
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Originally Posted by BCorbett
Not based on my experience. And I don't recall you being present to think otherwise...


I'm sorry, I thought that your assertion to the original poster implied a systematic abuse of the Sacrament of Matrimony by the Catholic Church, (something not true), instead of it being the simple isolated anecdotal recollection that you now clarify.

My apologies.
Old 04-16-05, 10:42 AM
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Originally Posted by Pharoh
Utterly and completely wrong.
Do you mean morally? If so, I completely agree.

If you mean it doesn't happen, it most certainly does. We looked at getting married in two catholic churches here in town and in each case, they wanted a sizeable donation in order to get married there. One of them, St. Augustine's, wanted $500 for us to get married in their church. That is just ridiculous, IMO.
Old 04-16-05, 11:07 AM
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Originally Posted by Xander
Do you mean morally? If so, I completely agree.

If you mean it doesn't happen, it most certainly does. We looked at getting married in two catholic churches here in town and in each case, they wanted a sizeable donation in order to get married there. One of them, St. Augustine's, wanted $500 for us to get married in their church. That is just ridiculous, IMO.
I don't think that price is too over-the-top. I was thinking that they were going to want thousands, or something. I mean, $500 no more than renting out some other big place to hold a wedding. Plus it's a days work to get everything perfect, with a few people working a few extra hours some afternoon. Individual churches, while not necessarily poor, do need money to keep running. The few churches that I've known have all been blue-collar.

As for agreeing to join their cult, no thanks. That would make me a liar. I'm not about to lie to the church, for God's sake.

Shop around. My brother and sister in law found a very nice church, in a small town, that would marry them (though neither practice).

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