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Have you prepared your "Rapture Letter"?

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Have you prepared your "Rapture Letter"?

Old 02-24-05, 02:00 PM
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Have you prepared your "Rapture Letter"?

Heard about this on "The Daily Show":

The rapture: When all the believers in Jesus Christ, who have been born again, are taken up to heaven.

After the rapture, there will be a lot of speculation as to why millions of people have just disappeared. Unfortunately, after the rapture, only non believers will be left to come up with answers. You probably have family and friends that you have witnessed to and they just won't listen. After the rapture they probably will, but who will tell them?

We have written a computer program to do just that. It will send an Electronic Message (e-mail) to whomever you want after the rapture has taken place, and you and I have been taken to heaven.


How is this accomplished, you might ask. It's a dead man switch that will automatically send the emails when it is not reset.

If you wish to do something now that will help your unbelieving friends and family after the rapture, you need to add those persons email address to our database. Their names will be stored indefinitely and a letter will be sent out to each of them on the first Friday after the rapture. Then they will receive another letter every friday after that.

This rapture letter service is FREE and will hopefully gain the person you send it to an eternity in heaven.

If you would like to see one of the letters which will be sent after the rapture, click here.

This is a personal ministry, if you have any questions or comments please address them to: [email protected]

Thank you and God Bless You!
Link: http://www.raptureletters.com/

They need a "sister site" for all the Otters out there who are planning to fake their own Rapture for whatever reason.
Old 02-24-05, 02:01 PM
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I saw this on the daily show too...


I especially liked the part about what happens if the guy dies...


Great stuff.
Old 02-24-05, 02:02 PM
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I really don't want to work tomorrow. If I fake Rapture, how do I explain coming back on Monday?
Old 02-24-05, 02:03 PM
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"What would Jesus charge?" I thought that was good stuff, too.
Old 02-24-05, 02:03 PM
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Originally Posted by Bandoman
I really don't want to work tomorrow. If I fake Rapture, how do I explain coming back on Monday?
We've already been through this. Just explain that you were part of a "Pilot Program" so that God could test the system before rolling it out for real.
Old 02-24-05, 02:05 PM
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Cool, thanks Groucho!
Old 02-24-05, 02:05 PM
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Is there a place in heaven for Ted Hitler?
Old 02-24-05, 02:06 PM
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http://www.comedycentral.com/mp/play...lms_10024.html
Old 02-24-05, 02:06 PM
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How is this accomplished, you might ask. It's a dead man switch that will automatically send the emails when it is not reset.
Oh, great. When this webmaster gets hit by a bus, I'm going to get premature rapture spam.
Old 02-24-05, 02:16 PM
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Originally Posted by Groucho
We've already been through this. Just explain that you were part of a "Pilot Program" so that God could test the system before rolling it out for real.
Old 02-24-05, 02:31 PM
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I recieved a 'Rapture Letter' years ago. A high school friend of mine, who's goofy church had convinced her that the world was going to be ending any day now.

I wasn't supposed to open the letter until after she and everyone were 'gone', but ofcourse I opened it anyway. It expressed regret that I hadn't accepted the 'Good News', and hoped that I would be able to avoid bowing down to the beast during the Tribulation.

Which reminds me, some Christians believe that the Tribulation will occur before the Rapture... so if that happens, this electronic letter is probabley a waste of time.
Old 02-24-05, 02:37 PM
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Originally Posted by Groucho
We've already been through this. Just explain that you were part of a "Pilot Program" so that God could test the system before rolling it out for real.
Wouldn't it be a "Pilate" program?
Old 02-24-05, 02:37 PM
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I loved how many examples he came up with of prophecies in Revelations that have come true.
Old 02-24-05, 02:41 PM
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I wish I could remember what Bible passage he was referring to (it was in Mark), but back in 1997 when the Star Wars movies were being re-released, I saw Jack Van Impe talking about them on his show, and how they was a harbinger of the apocalypse.
Old 02-24-05, 03:08 PM
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Originally Posted by Crocker Jarmen
I wish I could remember what Bible passage he was referring to (it was in Mark), but back in 1997 when the Star Wars movies were being re-released, I saw Jack Van Impe talking about them on his show, and how they was a harbinger of the apocalypse.
The Star Wars re-releases were the harbinger of the apocalypse?
Old 02-24-05, 03:10 PM
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Originally Posted by calhoun07
The Star Wars re-releases were the harbinger of the apocalypse?

Must have been the whole "Greedo shot first" thing.
Old 02-24-05, 03:23 PM
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Originally Posted by Crocker Jarmen
I wish I could remember what Bible passage he was referring to (it was in Mark), but back in 1997 when the Star Wars movies were being re-released, I saw Jack Van Impe talking about them on his show, and how they was a harbinger of the apocalypse.
acts 19:23
About that time there arose a great disturbance about the Way.


close?
Old 02-24-05, 03:25 PM
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When I think of rapture, I'm thinking of something else entirely!! Here, I was thinking this thread was about lust/love letters!
Old 02-24-05, 03:26 PM
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If God is so powerful, why would he need to use the internet?
Old 02-24-05, 03:34 PM
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Originally Posted by Venusian
acts 19:23
About that time there arose a great disturbance about the Way.


close?
No. Something to do with the heavens, the stars. I'm pretty sure it was in Mark.

At any rate, it probabley dosen't matter, as it was a real stretch.
Old 02-24-05, 03:59 PM
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After the rapture, there will be a lot of speculation as to why millions of people have just disappeared. Unfortunately, after the rapture, only non believers will be left to come up with answers. And who knows what dumb shit they'll come up with?
Fixed.
Old 02-24-05, 04:00 PM
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Originally Posted by Crocker Jarmen
No. Something to do with the heavens, the stars. I'm pretty sure it was in Mark.
... Hamill?????
Old 02-24-05, 04:05 PM
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Originally Posted by Gil Jawetz
... Hamill?????
Old 02-24-05, 04:09 PM
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Originally Posted by calhoun07
The Star Wars re-releases were the harbinger of the apocalypse?
I firmly believe that the prequels fulfill this.
Old 02-24-05, 04:43 PM
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Originally Posted by Crocker Jarmen
Which reminds me, some Christians believe that the Tribulation will occur before the Rapture... so if that happens, this electronic letter is probabley a waste of time.
That's pretty much what I believe...I don't really believe in a "rapture" of any sort, after much Biblical study.

So I find this just as laughable as all of you guys.

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