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Man, jailed for tattooing obscenities on unsuspecting customers, continues in prison

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Man, jailed for tattooing obscenities on unsuspecting customers, continues in prison

Old 02-02-05, 10:54 AM
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Man, jailed for tattooing obscenities on unsuspecting customers, continues in prison

Asian Tattoo Artist Inks Revenge Behind Bars

Disgruntled Asian Tattoo Artist Inks His Revenge

Now that Sakai is behind bars for duping local dim-witted students he felt were destroying his heritage, read the original article run in Souf Oaklin fo' Life!!! in September of 2002.

When local tattoo artist Andy Sakai was sentenced to five years in prison for inking profanities on hordes of hapless customers, many thought his days of body desecration were over.

They were wrong.

Sakai’s latest victims are no longer college students. His current targets are, ironically, his fellow inmates.

Using a tattoo gun fashioned out of a sharpened paper clip, dental floss, and a ballpoint pen taped to a plastic spork, the disgruntled prisoner has drawn Black Panther Party symbols on white supremacists, written CRIPS 4 EVA on rival gang members, and left dozens of hardened criminals with butterflies, fairies, and unicorns permanently etched in their skin.

“I wanted a stack of skulls on my back,” said murderer Jimmy Drake, “and that Asian prick gave me a giant Winnie the Pooh!”

Many prisoners ask for spider webs on their elbows to signify time spent in jail. Sakai’s webs have hidden messages in them such as, “Fuck Cops,” “I Swallow,” and “Salad Tosser.” Sakai got the idea for the cryptic tats after reading Charlotte’s Web in the prison library. “That E.B. White’s a genius, man,” Sakai proclaimed.

For his own protection, Sakai has been moved to solitary confinement where he’ll serve the rest of his sentence.

“Prison isn’t so bad,” Sakai said. “It gives me time to sit and seriously contemplate my next diabolically evil plan!”
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Old 02-02-05, 10:56 AM
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Old 02-02-05, 11:02 AM
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Old 02-02-05, 11:04 AM
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That dude must have a death wish.
Old 02-02-05, 11:16 AM
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“I wanted a stack of skulls on my back,” said murderer Jimmy Drake, “and that Asian prick gave me a giant Winnie the Pooh!”

Old 02-02-05, 11:23 AM
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is this the new Onion? That is great.
Old 02-02-05, 11:23 AM
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yet another onion copycat
Old 02-02-05, 11:26 AM
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Sounds like an Onion clone.

But it does raise an interesting question, those people who have Chinese or Japanese characters on their necks or backs, how do they really know what it says?
Old 02-02-05, 11:26 AM
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yea I'm sure the murder really said "Asian prick!"

Old 02-02-05, 11:42 AM
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Originally Posted by brizz
yet another onion copycat

Agreed.
Old 02-02-05, 12:38 PM
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Originally Posted by Heat
Sounds like an Onion clone.

But it does raise an interesting question, those people who have Chinese or Japanese characters on their necks or backs, how do they really know what it says?
When I began to read the article, I was thinking it must be with Chinese characters, because I could see that actually happening. But as I continued to read, I realized it was just an Onion wannabe article.
Old 02-02-05, 12:41 PM
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Originally Posted by Heat
Sounds like an Onion clone.

But it does raise an interesting question, those people who have Chinese or Japanese characters on their necks or backs, how do they really know what it says?
That was a topic brought up in an NBC comedy, Committed.

A guy had a chinese symbol on it that he thought said "Power" or something like that. A chinese delivery guy saw it and laughed and he told the guy what the tattoo said. He didn't believe it, got a second opinion from another guy.

The second guy said it meant "in a union of two men, you are the one who is the bitch"
or something to that effect.
Old 02-02-05, 12:54 PM
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Souf Oaklin fo' Life!!! (S.O.F.L.) grew out of a collaboration of labors of love. Its format is primarily derived from the national satircal newspaper The Onion (www.theonion.com), a newspaper which uses extreme points of view to challenge the reader to think about American thought, values, and culture. It is an equal opportunity offender which tackles political correctness, racism, bigotry, sexism, and just about every other "-ism" or "-ology" in between.

While The Onion is national, S.O.F.L. prides itself on "covering" local fare. Pittsburgh, with its unique ways of functioning, never fails to provide inspiration with a tunnel closing, stadium debate, or Iron City Beer purchase.

The "Souf Oaklin" part of the paper attempts to highlight the quirky Pittsburgh neighborhood for its culture clash of former mill workers, college students, and urban residents. It also attempts to parody inner-city jargon and senseless neighborhood rivalries, hence "All The News That Ain't Fit For No North Oakland!"

The name "South Oakland For Life" came from an idea of a former University of Pittsburgh radio station DJ who had an idea for a T-shirt which said "South Oakland For Life" on the front and then had the words "North Oakland" on the back in a circle with a cross through it. The spelling "Souf Oaklin" came from the former sidewalk cement writing ("Souf Oaklin Summa Time") on the Charles Anderson Memorial Bridge (which connects South Oakland to Schenley Park via the Boulevard of the Allies).

S.O.F.L. was first released in May 2000 on plain office copy paper. It was read by friends of the writers and editors, and as far as its 30 copies could reach. The paper remained in limited production until September 2001, when the first newsprint issue was released. Since that date the paper has enjoyed a cult-like status and popularity with college students and professionals in Oakland and surrounding communities. A bourgeoning website (www.soufoaklin.com) has made current and archived issues accessible to displaced Pittsburghers and other admirers.
Aren't they special.
Old 02-02-05, 02:36 PM
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I knew it was fake when I read that an Asian went to prison. Yeah, like that happens....




*Hey bitches, please spare me the links to Asians who went to prison.
Old 02-02-05, 03:28 PM
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Didn't that happen to Britney Spears too? I thought I read somewhere that she got a tattoo (kanji or something) that she thought meant "unique", but it actually meant "strange". Not in the same league, really, but I thought it was funny.
Old 02-03-05, 09:28 PM
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well, just glad i'm paying good money to get him rehabilitated
Old 02-03-05, 09:53 PM
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Originally Posted by garolo
“I wanted a stack of skulls on my back,” said murderer Jimmy Drake, “and that Asian prick gave me a giant Winnie the Pooh!”



I don't see how it could be a clone of the Onion - it's actually funny.
Old 02-03-05, 10:00 PM
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Kind of a pity that it's a fake site in a way.

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