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What are the funniest/ or best Conspiracy Theory you have ever heard?

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What are the funniest/ or best Conspiracy Theory you have ever heard?

Old 01-09-05, 12:50 AM
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What are the funniest/ or best Conspiracy Theory you have ever heard?

The best one I have ever heard is that are government is gassing us. When you look up in the sky and you those smoke lines ( air lines) in the sky, that is how our government is gassing us. This same person believes that the government has such good satelites that they can see you in your house.
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Old 01-09-05, 01:00 AM
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I think flu shots contain mind-control drugs.
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Old 01-09-05, 01:05 AM
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my mom actually said that she thinks the US government secretly planted demolition charges inside both world trade centers since they knew that there was going to be a terrorist attack via airplanes, and when the planes hit, THEN they blew the buildings up.
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Old 01-09-05, 09:19 AM
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wow, no offense skiblet but you mom has to be pretty out there to believe that.
My personal favorite isn't quite as ludicrous as some of the ones posted so far, but I like the "the moon landing was fake" theory. Thank You very much Capricorn One, now we have legions of morons who believe this.
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Old 01-09-05, 09:33 AM
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I usually don't try to "go there" on purpose, but the "gay agenda" is one of the most ridiculous conspiracy theories I've ever heard, simply absurd. I know nothing about the six-pack recruitment tactics, toaster give-a-ways, or secret handshakes. Nope, never heard of it.
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Old 01-09-05, 09:35 AM
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Well, the blood for oil shit is quite a ridiculous comment to make.

The Moon Landing is fake is also ridiculous and just as disrespectful.
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Old 01-09-05, 09:37 AM
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That AIDS/crack was invented by the government to take down blacks.

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Old 01-09-05, 09:39 AM
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Being in the medical field - I hear the one where we actually HAVE the cure to cancer, we're just not distributing it because the medical and insurance industry would lose billions of dollars.
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Old 01-09-05, 09:54 AM
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There is a hologram in the middle of Kansas license plates, between the two sets of three characters that make up the plate number. A trooper at the range where I shoot was telling a story about about a nutjob that claimed that holigram was used to track and identify people wherever they travelled. "No", the trooper said, "that's what the big numbers are used for.."
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Old 01-09-05, 10:02 AM
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A guy I work with says that the flouride added to tap water is to make you more complacent. Of course, he has a well.
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Old 01-09-05, 10:10 AM
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Originally Posted by csim
The best one I have ever heard is that are government is gassing us. When you look up in the sky and you those smoke lines ( air lines) in the sky, that is how our government is gassing us. This same person believes that the government has such good satelites that they can see you in your house.

Contrails.

How about everyone post their favorite CT then give reasons why they think it's bullshit? Now that would be interesting.

For myself, I'm on the fence when these issues come up:

1. Alien life/technology and contact with government. Including certain modern innovations derived from alien technology and The Roswell crash.

2. Certain airliners being shot down by terrorists and the Gov calling the crashes "accidents".

3. The Government using Psychics with real powers for various reasons.

Last edited by Giantrobo; 01-09-05 at 10:22 AM.
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Old 01-09-05, 11:15 AM
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People who believe OJ was framed (which would barely qualify as a conspiracy in this thread, compared to the others mentioned) are complete IDIOTS.

I run into these people from time to time and just shake my head.
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Old 01-09-05, 11:17 AM
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Back in the 1970s and 1980s, there was a UFO conspiracy theorist called William Cooper. He was such a whackjob that other UFO conspiracy theorists tried to avoid talking to him. He had a really stupid theory that nobody believed: that aliens were being kept at Area 51.
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Old 01-09-05, 11:23 AM
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The best conspiracy theories aren't funny, but sad. The president of South Africa believes that AIDS, which has infected more than 20% of the country, isn't an sexually transmitted disease, but a CIA plot.
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Old 01-09-05, 11:52 AM
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I know people who believe:

1. vaccines have microchips in them (Bill Gates is behind it)
2. The universe is less than 10,000 years old, and Atheists scientists know this but keep in under wraps because they hate God that much.
3. Harry Potter leads to devil worship.
4. We didn't land on the moon.

And others.
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Old 01-09-05, 11:58 AM
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Originally Posted by Lord Rick
People who believe OJ was framed (which would barely qualify as a conspiracy in this thread, compared to the others mentioned) are complete IDIOTS.

I run into these people from time to time and just shake my head.
I always thought that OJ paid someone to do the hit for him.
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Old 01-09-05, 11:59 AM
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Originally Posted by csim
The best one I have ever heard is that are government is gassing us. When you look up in the sky and you those smoke lines ( air lines) in the sky, that is how our government is gassing us. This same person believes that the government has such good satelites that they can see you in your house.
The good ol' contrail theory.

This is one of my favorites and I've heard several variations, from the government secretly immunizing us, to using mind control drugs, and others.

I think it was the Art Bell site years back, but there was a place I found people who were taking pictures of contrails around their area and claiming why the contrails were not natural. Some of these people went as far as to track air patterns and claim the planes were too often, flying the wrong directions, etc. Of course, some of these people lived near airports, which must have really freaked them out.

On the same site they had a "Shadow Government" section, which is a fun conspiracy of its own. The funnier thing was though that people submitted drawings of what they believed the Shadow Government seal looked like. I swear, some of these drawings looked like they were drawn in crayon.
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Old 01-09-05, 12:05 PM
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Originally Posted by Nick Danger
The best conspiracy theories aren't funny, but sad. The president of South Africa believes that AIDS, which has infected more than 20% of the country, isn't an sexually transmitted disease, but a CIA plot.
That is pretty bad. Normally I don't have a problem with people believing their conspiracy theories because they are usually harmless. This is different because its a person in a position of authority and responsibility. Resources that could be used to help save lives and prevent infection may be withheld or diverted to other purposes.
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Old 01-09-05, 12:24 PM
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The "best" conspiracy would be something that doesn't exist, yet even level-headed people will believe and argue about. With that, I give you:

The Liberal Media.
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Old 01-09-05, 12:29 PM
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After college, I taught at an all black high school for four years. Every year, some student would ask me if I knew that Church's Chicken added an ingredient to its chicken that made black men sterile.
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Old 01-09-05, 02:57 PM
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Originally Posted by Numanoid
The "best" conspiracy would be something that doesn't exist, yet even level-headed people will believe and argue about. With that, I give you:

The Liberal Media.

Good point. Tom Brokaw even did a report debunking the idea. What more do people need?

Must be the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy that Hillary believes in.
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Old 01-09-05, 03:10 PM
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A couple years ago we had a bad drought in this area.. some woman wrote to the paper that the airplanes flying through this area were actually seeding the clouds so that the rain would fall elsewhere... One of her main pieces of evidence is one day she saw clouds in the sky, an airplane flew by and later the clouds were gone ...I forget who she thought was behind it all, but she wrote a few letters trying to get people to 'open their eyes !'

Sadly there have been a few letters like that from people around here...
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Old 01-09-05, 03:33 PM
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When I was in college I worked at a restaurant with this guy who was the boss's son. He was the typical neo-hippie: long hair, pot-smoker, followed Phish around for 2 years, and has done over 200 hits of acid. Anyway, the restaurant was across the street from the police station. One day a police car came by that had a big white globe on the top of it (i.e. spotlight). When this guy saw it his face went pale and he started shaking a little. "What the fuck was that?" he says. 10 minutes later he had convinced himself that it was a device that the police used to read people's minds and that we're just one step closer to having to wear the mark of the beast (microchips, in this case) in our hands.
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Old 01-09-05, 04:03 PM
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Old 01-09-05, 04:15 PM
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This one is popular around dvdtalk. It's that the Academy voters gave Halle Barry her Oscar due to her racial status and nothing else. That's right, they all got together and decided to give it to her just because she's colored and not because she did a good job on Monster's Ball.
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