Other Talk "Otterville" plus Religion/Politics

Argh! Self-righteous breeders!

Old 01-03-05, 03:46 PM
  #1  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: The Center of the Universe
Posts: 206
Argh! Self-righteous breeders!

Just where the flock do people get off telling you that you are selfish and immature for not reproducing?

Discuss.
Rhoda is offline  
Old 01-03-05, 03:50 PM
  #2  
Moderator
 
Groucho's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Salt Lake City, Utah
Posts: 70,538
Oh, these threads always go well. Here comes 40+ posts of "Parents suck, kids suck."
Groucho is offline  
Old 01-03-05, 03:53 PM
  #3  
DVD Talk God
 
kvrdave's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 86,200
Just how I would have expected a person not mature enough for kids to respond.
kvrdave is offline  
Old 01-03-05, 03:58 PM
  #4  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: The Center of the Universe
Posts: 206
Everybody sucks at one time or another

I don't care if somebody wants to have 20 kids. That's not the thing that frosts my apricots.

I hate being told shite like I'm selfish or immature because I chose not to have kids. I'm forty-three years old for chissake and it really pisses me off to be told by some twenty-something, never-been-nowhere-or-done-a-damned-thing-of-consequence, minivan driver that I am selfish and immature.
Rhoda is offline  
Old 01-03-05, 04:00 PM
  #5  
DVD Talk Ultimate Edition
 
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: somewhere in between
Posts: 4,395
if someone frosts your apricot, then there is a chance you've become a breeder.
costanza is offline  
Old 01-03-05, 04:03 PM
  #6  
DVD Talk Limited Edition
 
Crocker Jarmen's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 6,678
I thought this thread was going to be about people mllefoo deals with who don't spay/neuter their dogs.
Crocker Jarmen is offline  
Old 01-03-05, 04:06 PM
  #7  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Ferment
Posts: 19,548
They say non-breeders are selfish because we aren't sharing in their misery.

I think women get it worse than guys with regards to reproducing. As soon as I got married, the parents were haranguing me to have kids.

Boy were they disappointed when I got myself fixed.
mllefoo is offline  
Old 01-03-05, 04:17 PM
  #8  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Join Date: Oct 1999
Location: |-|@><0r [email protected]|)
Posts: 17,214
Originally Posted by mllefoo
They say non-breeders are selfish because we aren't sharing in their misery.
I've seen what my parents went through trying to raise me and my two sisters. Not that we were trouble (we were good kids) or overly demanding - but kids just naturally require a lot of maintenance, time, effort, and money.

Having seen that, and having not been brainwashed into a cultural sheep, I can't believe so many people blithely stumble into parenthood. You're talking about giving up virtually all of eighteen years of your life. I think most parents were totally ignorant of the magnitude of sacrifice required.

So I believe that parents (at all stages) spend much of their time trying to justify their sacrifice. If they didn't knowingly want the commitment when they blundered into it, then they have to justify it on the back end. One good tactic: Conjure up some kind of moral responsibility to spawn, and take a "better than thou" position against those who don't fulfill this responsibility.

- David Stein
sfsdfd is offline  
Old 01-03-05, 04:28 PM
  #9  
DVD Talk Hall of Fame
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 9,975
Originally Posted by mllefoo
Boy were they disappointed when I got myself fixed.
Occupational hazard...
BizRodian is offline  
Old 01-03-05, 04:50 PM
  #10  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Heat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Central Illinois
Posts: 16,701
Rhoda, thank you for not having children.

Hope this helps!
Heat is offline  
Old 01-03-05, 04:59 PM
  #11  
DVD Talk Limited Edition
 
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: The land of chocolate
Posts: 6,617
From a 'your place in this society' point of view (and the purely economical standpoint), you're expecting other people to pay for your welfare (should you need it). If you live so long, you may end up being a net burden on society - even after you consider what you've personally contributed. By having kids, your offspring are helping belay that cost.

An aging population (with no sign of correction) is very bad economically, but probably better environmentally. But is being pressured into breeding better?

From the other point of view, why have kids if you're not going to be a good parent? There are far too many screwed up kids without the need for further ones. People may abstain from having kids because they're selfish (the "I don't want to give up my lifestyle" approach), but remember that people sometimes also have kids because they are selfish (the "This kid will save our marriage/complete me" etc) without looking at whether they're going to be responsible parents.

Ultimately, just go with whatever makes you happy.
naughty jonny is offline  
Old 01-03-05, 05:13 PM
  #12  
Senior Member
 
kbmagic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Just this side of paradise...
Posts: 712
I don't understand how not having kids makes one 'selfish.'

You're still paying taxes and yet you're not having children to 'use' the money in the school system...if anything, you're helping pay for THEIR kids...and that's selfish?

*shrug*

I wish more people would choose to remain childless...instead of just reproducing because the world expects them to...
kbmagic is offline  
Old 01-03-05, 05:17 PM
  #13  
DVD Talk Legend
 
FantasticVSDoom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: No longer trapped
Posts: 11,610
*whew*...Here I thought this was going to one of those controversial gay/anti-gay threads. Good thing that didnt happen.
FantasticVSDoom is offline  
Old 01-03-05, 05:33 PM
  #14  
DVD Talk Legend
 
GatorDeb's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: The "Real" Vice City
Posts: 16,123
My life will not be complete without kids, but that doesn't mean everyone is the same. Live and let live. For me having children is one of the greatest things I hope to do in my life but if someone else chooses not to have kids, that's their choice like it's my choice to have them.

So not all of us breeders are bad
GatorDeb is offline  
Old 01-03-05, 06:32 PM
  #15  
DVD Talk Limited Edition
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: wishing I was in Vegas
Posts: 6,646
Originally Posted by Crocker Jarman
I thought this thread was going to be about people mllefoo deals with who don't spay/neuter their dogs.
Or pet shop dog snobbery.



Everyone should have kids at least once, if they’re properly prepared and served with the correct wine.
Wizdar is offline  
Old 01-03-05, 06:35 PM
  #16  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Kittydreamer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 13,611
I'm very allergic to apricots, one bite is enough to do me in. Weird, eh?

I don't think it's selfish at all to not have kids. If you know that you don't want to have them and you don't then that's what I think is very mature.

Personally, I think the government should set up free or low-cost clinics to do permanent sterilization for those who want it. Sure beats having babies aborted or stuffed in garbage cans because the mother didn't want to have the child in the first place.
Kittydreamer is offline  
Old 01-03-05, 06:37 PM
  #17  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Kittydreamer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 13,611
Originally Posted by Wizdar
Everyone should have kids at least once, if they’re properly prepared and served with the correct wine.
Oh yeah. Welcome to my new sig! I love it!
Kittydreamer is offline  
Old 01-03-05, 06:38 PM
  #18  
DVD Talk God
 
kvrdave's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 86,200
Originally Posted by sfsdfd
So I believe that parents (at all stages) spend much of their time trying to justify their sacrifice. If they didn't knowingly want the commitment when they blundered into it, then they have to justify it on the back end. One good tactic: Conjure up some kind of moral responsibility to spawn, and take a "better than thou" position against those who don't fulfill this responsibility.

- David Stein
I actually believe most people tell themselves this as well to justify not having them and convince themselves that they aren't missing out on anything. A lot of us just can't imagine not having kids....and some, like me, would not have believed that before we had them.
kvrdave is offline  
Old 01-03-05, 06:50 PM
  #19  
Banned by request
 
Supermallet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Termite Terrace
Posts: 54,156
Although the spawn of my loins could probably rule the world, I have no desire to spawn such children (unless it's through a sperm bank where I have no vested interest in their lives).

I'm planning to get a vasectomy in a few years, so that's it for this potential breeder.
Supermallet is offline  
Old 01-03-05, 06:55 PM
  #20  
DVD Talk Hero
 
Numanoid's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Down in 'The Park'
Posts: 27,882
Originally Posted by kvrdave
I actually believe most people tell themselves this as well to justify not having them and convince themselves that they aren't missing out on anything. A lot of us just can't imagine not having kids....and some, like me, would not have believed that before we had them.
Oh, people who don't have kids are missing out on plenty. Three AM feedings; whining and crying because they don't want to go where you want to go; temper tantrums because their scarf is blue and their sister's scarf is red; paying for damage done to the nieghbor's windows which junior got caught practicing his BB gun on; being told they hate you because you won't let them stay out until 2 AM on a school night; coming up with bail money at 4 in the morning; getting to deal with the reefer smoke which permeates your basement even though your kid is 25 years old and should be working.

Yeah, they're missing out on a lot.
Numanoid is offline  
Old 01-03-05, 07:01 PM
  #21  
DVD Talk Hero
 
JasonF's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 39,075
Originally Posted by kvrdave
I actually believe most people tell themselves this as well to justify not having them and convince themselves that they aren't missing out on anything. A lot of us just can't imagine not having kids....and some, like me, would not have believed that before we had them.
People who don't have kids are missing out on a lot.

People who do have kids are also missing out on a lot.

You only live so long. There's not enough time to do it all.

What really frosts Rhoda's apricot (if I can presume to speak for her) are self-rightous statements like yours -- statements that patronize the person who has chosen to become a parent. Clearly such a person must be some sort of stupid idiot, for how can anyone possibly not make the decision to have kids, given how much you enjoy having kids. I mean, I never go up to people in retsuarants and berate them for not ordering my favorite dish -- "You really don't know what you're missing if you don't eat the Chicaken Marseilles. I would have never thought the Chicken Marseilles could be so good until I had it myself, but now I know you have to have the Chicken Marseilles. You're a fool if you chose to order the Veal Parmagiana!"
JasonF is offline  
Old 01-03-05, 07:03 PM
  #22  
Banned by request
 
Supermallet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Termite Terrace
Posts: 54,156
Hey, buddy, I LIKE veal parmagiana, so butt out!

Oh, wait, kids. Yeah.
Supermallet is offline  
Old 01-03-05, 07:12 PM
  #23  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Ferment
Posts: 19,548
I babysat for an infink once. Once.

The bastard parents paid me five bucks for four hours. What a ripoff. I was puked on, spat on, cried at, had slimy sticky fingers groping my clothes, and it took a week to get the diaper stink out of my clothes. Never again. Not for mine or anyone else's. I don't care if you think it's different when they're your own. The point is, I don't want to share in your "joy".
mllefoo is offline  
Old 01-03-05, 07:13 PM
  #24  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Join Date: Oct 1999
Location: |-|@><0r [email protected]|)
Posts: 17,214
Originally Posted by kvrdave
I actually believe most people tell themselves this as well to justify not having them and convince themselves that they aren't missing out on anything.
Probably true. Both cases involve post-hoc rationalization. Basically, anyone who feels an urge to characterize the other side as anything probably has some unresolved issues and repressed doubts.

I recognize both options as a crap shoot. I also recognize that, other things being equal, having kids is undoubtedly a bigger commitment, and undoubtedly a bigger risk, than not having kids. So, all things being equal - if you have doubts, don't have kids. Your greatest risk then is screwing up two lives, not three or more.

- David Stein
sfsdfd is offline  
Old 01-03-05, 07:15 PM
  #25  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Join Date: Oct 1999
Location: |-|@><0r [email protected]|)
Posts: 17,214
Originally Posted by mllefoo
I was puked on, spat on, cried at, had slimy sticky fingers groping my clothes, and it took a week to get the diaper stink out of my clothes.
Eh... that usually ends around age 22, when they've learned their tolerance levels.

- David Stein
sfsdfd is offline  

Thread Tools
Search this Thread

Archive Advertising Cookie Policy Privacy Statement Terms of Service

Copyright © 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.