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Tracking down old girl friends without looking creepy. Advice?

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Tracking down old girl friends without looking creepy. Advice?

Old 01-02-05, 02:54 AM
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Tracking down old girl friends without looking creepy. Advice?

For the past five years I've lived in Saskatchewan.

A very good girl friend of mine lived in Ontario. I go there maybe once or twice a year, to visit my sister. I used to get together with this girl then too, although we have fallen out of contact during the last three years.

I think about her quite a bit still, and would love the chance to talk to ger again. Catch up and all that. I assumed that she had gotten married over the last few years, as I could never find her name in the phone listings of Google searches.

Right now I'm in Ontario visiting my sister. In the newspaper, I come across a article that has a quote from this girl. Still has her old name, seems that she isn't married. In the article, she is identified as now working for the local rape crisis hotline.

I'm really hot to get in contact with her, but something tells me it isn't going to be cool if I was to phone the rape crisis hotline saying "Hey, is so-and-so working? I wanna talk to her."

Other than that, I really have no way of getting in contact with her. Any ideas? Is trying to find her through the rape crisis people permissable?
Old 01-02-05, 03:08 AM
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She may be unlisted, but how about her parents? Call them up and ask for her number, assuming that they have met you and know who you are.

Other than that, sure, just call the rape line and ask for her, just say that you were calling her to thank her for helping you earlier this year or something like that.
Old 01-02-05, 03:46 AM
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Old 01-02-05, 03:47 AM
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Private Detective?
Old 01-02-05, 03:49 AM
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What's the worst thing that can happen? If she still harbors feelings for you she should be flattered that you took the time to get in touch with her again. Looking 'creepy' shouldn't be your criteria as to dissuade you from doing so.....the older you get the more you see that things like that don't much matter in the scheme of life.
Old 01-02-05, 03:58 AM
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The answer is right there in your question; the average person rarely makes it into a newspaper, when people DO make it in, they like to be recognized for it. All you have to do is be completely honest ( I know how crazy that sounds). Call the center, ask for her, say "Hey, this is Crocker, I'm visiting here and was reading the paper, saw your name, and wanted to say hi." Then, all you have to do is compliment her fine work at the center and you're on your way to bliss. Enjoy the love and Carpe Diem!
Old 01-02-05, 05:44 AM
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find out where the rape crisis hotline is
Old 01-02-05, 07:33 AM
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Or get raped. Then you have an excuse to call her.
Old 01-02-05, 08:53 AM
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The things we do for love.
Old 01-02-05, 09:09 AM
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try one of those classmates web sites....lots of people from high school and college are in there and its a easy out to say saw this and thought of you.....if not a college of high school sweetheart.......private detective and sit outside there window with binoculars
Old 01-02-05, 09:16 AM
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I've found a few old friends over the net, most of them were pleasantly surprised, even a couple of old ex-girlfriends that didn't end on the best of terms. Most people, unless you throw off a stalker mentality, are usually pleased to hear from old friends. If the relationship ended badly, usually time will heal those wounds.
Old 01-02-05, 09:59 AM
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Like others, I see no problem with getting in touch with her through the center. I'd first try to find if they have a non-emergency number. Or if you really feel weird about calling or visiting, maybe you can mail her a letter c/o of the center.

I would think if you two were close, she'd like it to know you were still thinking about her. Maybe she's been trying to find you also.

Go for it and good luck!
Old 01-02-05, 11:22 AM
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I hadn't thought of trying to get in contact through the Sexual Assault Centre by mail (they have a PO box, that's a good idea Tom Opus.

I'm having trouble finding a non-emergency line. I also can't find a physical adress for this place (as they take in battered woman when they leave their husband). I still feel leery about calling up and asking for her (as I don't know whether or not they'd put her on), but mailing sounds pretty good.
Old 01-02-05, 03:05 PM
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Originally Posted by Trelach24
Or get raped. Then you have an excuse to call her.
Best advice so far!
Old 01-02-05, 03:48 PM
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posting this thread is already creepy.
Old 01-02-05, 09:01 PM
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Originally Posted by Trelach24
Or get raped. Then you have an excuse to call her.
that's sig material right there
Old 01-02-05, 09:13 PM
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Originally Posted by TomOpus
Like others, I see no problem with getting in touch with her through the center. I'd first try to find if they have a non-emergency number. Or if you really feel weird about calling or visiting, maybe you can mail her a letter c/o of the center.

Go for it and good luck!
good chance the center also has a web site, so maybe there is an email address on there
Old 01-02-05, 09:18 PM
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Originally Posted by Trigger
posting this thread is already creepy.
Is it any creepier than making 19,551 posts on an Internet forum?

- David Stein

Last edited by sfsdfd; 01-02-05 at 09:26 PM.
Old 01-02-05, 09:24 PM
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I've gotten in touch w/ an old g/f via email by doing a Google search w/ her name. We broke up on some bad terms like 5-6 yrs ago, but she was really glad to hear from me. I admit I kind of felt a little like a stalker, but I'm still glad that we got to talk.
Old 01-02-05, 09:29 PM
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Sweet - am I that close to 20,000?

1. that's over several years.

2. posting on a forum judging another person for posting on the same forum is silly.

3. I never asked if I was creepy or not, but the OP asked if his actions would be considered creepy

4. this coming from someone who is a moderator of an internet forum

5. comparing my hobby of engaging in discussions about topics that interest me (dvds, movies, video games, etc...) with someone trying to track down an old flame by calling a rape hotline is like comparing apples to oxy clean.

6. touche.
Old 01-02-05, 09:32 PM
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by the way- I don't really think it's all that creepy actually... I'd probably just call the rape hotline if I had no other way to contact her. "hey this is so and so - your name caught my eye in the paper and so I figured I'd give you a call, here's my number so you can call me when you get off work."
Old 01-02-05, 10:12 PM
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Okay, if TV has taught me nothing else, it's taught me how to deal with this scenario...

Call her up, and when she asks how you got her number and knew she worked at the rape crisis center, tell her you met someone who knows her on the street and he gave it to you. When she asks what he looked like, tell her you weren't paying much attention because you just came from buying a speedboat. Bingo, you're off the uncomfortable topic.

I knew watching Seinfeld at 6:00 and 6:30 everyday would pay off somehow.
Old 01-02-05, 10:36 PM
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Originally Posted by Crocker Jarmen
I assumed that she had gotten married over the last few years, as I could never find her name in the phone listings of Google searches.
Deep concern.
Old 01-03-05, 12:51 AM
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You've googled her name....you're a stalker. Admit it!

Old 01-03-05, 01:01 AM
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I actually found an old girlfriend's e-mail address after doing some Google searching. I figured that she might be a little weirded out by all the stalking that it took to find her, so I never e-mailed her. I decided to just by a more comfortable pair of binoculars and leave it at that.

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