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How to avoid getting into a fist fight in a certain situation...your opinions?

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How to avoid getting into a fist fight in a certain situation...your opinions?

Old 12-28-04, 11:58 PM
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How to avoid getting into a fist fight in a certain situation...your opinions?

I almost got into it a couple days ago with a guy who has been hitting on my girl for quite some time now. I guess some people don't get the picture and he sure didnt seeing that I looked quite pissed each time I noticed little things he did around my girl.

I'm really humiliated remembering that this was in front of relatives who took notice that I did not intervene. I really wanted to sock him a few times as my adrenalyne grew higher and higher that night. But I BARELY kept my cool remembering that:

1. I could get slapped with a lawsuit
2. I could get my nose broken or other facial feature distorted
3. He may actually be able to kick my ass since he does seem quite strong and is about 20 pounds heavier than me.

So, I am actually glad I avoided getting into a fight. But I will see him again and want to be able to keep cool each time without losing control. In all honesty, I am pretty big but I am scared sh-tless about messing up my face in some way or another since the last fight I was in was when I was 10 years old.

Does anybody have tips on keeping cool and avoiding a fist fight with this SOB?

Last edited by babka; 12-29-04 at 12:02 AM.
Old 12-29-04, 12:02 AM
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I wonder if your GF's reponse (or lack of one) is more of the problem here?
Old 12-29-04, 12:05 AM
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well, she did not respond because she is friends with him. In her opinion, its just a friendly thing. But to many guys including this SOB, if my girl hugs him , he thinks she wants to have sex.
Old 12-29-04, 12:08 AM
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First, avoid ANY kind of physical confrontation if you can. From your post I'm not too sure what that guy is doing... Is he just saying things around your girlfriend? Is he being rude and touching her??

This may sound boring but TALK to the guy, tell him how you feel. I presume your girlfriend isn't appreciating this also? If you and your GF make it obvious to this guy that his advances are not appreciated he should vanish soon after...

If that doesn't work well you could always do like I did in my 20's; beat the shit out of him and pay 500$ in fines and have 3 years probation
Old 12-29-04, 12:08 AM
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why are you even thinking of fighting over a girl?
Old 12-29-04, 12:08 AM
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If your gf won't respect how you feel about it, kick her ass. Seriously, kick her to the curb.

I'm a hugger as well, but if my wife had a problem with it, I wouldn't do it.
Old 12-29-04, 12:12 AM
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Originally Posted by Myster X
why are you even thinking of fighting over a girl?
It's not that. But I really hate when people disrespect me. It pisses the shit out of me. I guess I am just too nice and too cheerful all the time. So people get the idea that they can step on me without me saying a word.
Old 12-29-04, 12:12 AM
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Maybe work on your self-esteem a little and be more secure about yourself... have better communication with your girlfriend so you can be more secure in your relationship as well. If you felt more secure, you wouldn't feel so threatened by some dude hugging your girlfriend that you would want to fight him.
Old 12-29-04, 12:14 AM
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Originally Posted by kvrdave
If your gf won't respect how you feel about it, kick her ass. Seriously, kick her to the curb.

I'm a hugger as well, but if my wife had a problem with it, I wouldn't do it.

good advice.....thanks bro.
Old 12-29-04, 12:16 AM
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Originally Posted by Trigger
Maybe work on your self-esteem a little and be more secure about yourself... have better communication with your girlfriend so you can be more secure in your relationship as well. If you felt more secure, you wouldn't feel so threatened by some dude hugging your girlfriend that you would want to fight him.

Trigger its more than just a hug or 2. I have great self-esteem but I do admit I am really sensitive and notice every little thing that happens around me. And, if I feel any sort of disrespect , I feel like exploding.
Old 12-29-04, 01:02 AM
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Originally Posted by kvrdave
If your gf won't respect how you feel about it, kick her ass. Seriously, kick her to the curb.

I'm a hugger as well, but if my wife had a problem with it, I wouldn't do it.
Do you really think your love affair with Pine trees is an appropriate analogy here dave? geesh.
Old 12-29-04, 01:06 AM
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here's what to do..

kidnapping -> torture -> murder/suicide.

Problem solved.
Old 12-29-04, 01:18 AM
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Originally Posted by brizz
Do you really think your love affair with Pine trees is an appropriate analogy here dave? geesh.
It's not the trees so much as the knot holes.
Old 12-29-04, 01:25 AM
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I'd throw a tape ball at him, then hope he doesn't slap you.

(ok cheap shot)

A) IMHO, you did the right think by not fighting.
B) Talk to your GF. Let her know it bothers you. She will handle it if this guy is really a friend of hers.
C) If she tells you there is nothing to it and get over it, you have 2 choices, get over it or leave her
D) Ask yourself if you are being a jerk or if it is reasonable. If it is reasonable, then again talk to her. If it is how you feel, it is how you feel and she should know about it.
Old 12-29-04, 01:31 AM
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Originally Posted by babka
It's not that. But I really hate when people disrespect me. It pisses the shit out of me. I guess I am just too nice and too cheerful all the time. So people get the idea that they can step on me without me saying a word.
Well did you say anything? Cause if you don't, why would anyone even think about it. From what you've said, it sounds like this guy was flirting and you wanted to fight him over it. Just tell the guy what you feel. If that turns into a heated discussion, so be it. But there's really no need to fight the guy unless he attacks you physically, which doesn't sound the case at all.

Maybe you feel the need to be respected, but beating the crap out of someone is definately not going to win you any respect, not by him or most anyone else.
Old 12-29-04, 01:33 AM
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How old are you?

Don't get in a fist fight because you are not a caveman. It's pretty simple.

If you trust your girl, like you say you do, it doesn't matter if he thinks she wants him. Ignore the idiot.
Old 12-29-04, 01:34 AM
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Originally Posted by kvrdave
It's not the trees so much as the knot holes.
Oh god, and the sap. So sticky, yet....so sexy.

Like others have said, it sounds like you might need to work on communicating better, with this guy and your girlfriend. Let him know, privately, that you think he is crossing the line. How close are you to this guy, is he just a friend of your girlfriend's or do you and him hang out too? I know it could be difficult to approach someone you aren't that familiar with and tell him to back down, but it sounds like you should do it. And tell your girlfriend to stick up for herself as well, if she thinks he is getting too close.

It is hard to tell from your original post, but what "little things" is he doing that is getting your blood up? You might want to examine why these "little things" are making you so upset. Are they really little things? If they are pushing you to start a physical confrontation, then obviously they are bigger than your are letting on. A little more info might help people give better advice about the situation.
Old 12-29-04, 01:39 AM
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Originally Posted by kvrdave
If your gf won't respect how you feel about it, kick her ass. Seriously, kick her to the curb.

I'm a hugger as well, but if my wife had a problem with it, I wouldn't do it.
The Caveman sort of has a point.

While we're only getting babka's side of things, I've seen stuff like this before.

There are guys out there, who'll "befriend" someone else's woman, and then work and work at them until they're balls-deep in them.

And the women are completely clueless that they're doing it, too. But every man knows exactly what's going on. We can spot a motherfucker on the prowl from a mile away.

In a perfect world, he could explain to his girlfriend what's happening, and she would respect his wishes and avoid mack daddy. In the real world, the woman will resent her husband/boyfriend, and provide a perfect "in" for mack daddy. She won't flat-out deny she's interested in the guy or vice versa... she'll defend him, and you'll look like the asshole.

It's not so much a "hugging" thing as it is a boundary thing. Say she hugs a guy, and he interprets that as a "signal." It's her (if she is in a relationship) responsibility to make clear that she isn't interested instead of leading him on. Oftentimes, I suspect the problem is, that one some level, the woman in question might not be secure in her relationship, or is looking for a better deal, even if she'll never cop to it.
Old 12-29-04, 02:50 AM
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just use kicks
Old 12-29-04, 02:54 AM
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I actually had to check my title to see if it changed to "caveman".
Old 12-29-04, 07:01 AM
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Pull guard and go for a triangle choke...that way you won't mess up your face.
Old 12-29-04, 09:21 AM
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I like where Knight is going with this. Wear a painted hockey mask and follow him to his car in a parking lot late at night. Wear all black.

I agree that perhaps your girl LIKES the attention and the guy showing it even if she doesnt intend to cheat on you. She'll never admit it if thats the case though. Talk to the guy let him know you think hes crossing the line.
Old 12-29-04, 09:22 AM
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Bros before hos. Dump the girl and take him out for a beer.
Old 12-29-04, 10:04 AM
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It's not a matter of being overly sensitive if your relatives also found it inappropriate and felt you should act.

I'm not recommending violence but your GF should put a stop to it especially since it's embarrassing you in front of your family.

If she doesn't respect that then she needs to hit the road.
Old 12-29-04, 10:12 AM
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Exactly what the hell did this guy do to your g/f to make you feel so awkward? A hug? If that's it, your insanely jealous....maybe I skimmed to lightly through your responses, but sheesh......

If there was something more, I'd say your girlfriend needs to give the guy a serious brush off, and the "we'll only ever be friends" talk.....unless she's keeping his card in the back pocket for when she's done with you...... ?

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