DVD Talk Forum

DVD Talk Forum (https://forum.dvdtalk.com/)
-   Other Talk (https://forum.dvdtalk.com/other-talk-9/)
-   -   Post your DISASTROUS DATE experiences - (https://forum.dvdtalk.com/other-talk/398904-post-your-disastrous-date-experiences.html)

Matthew Chmiel 12-18-04 03:27 PM

I want to buy DD and DP X-Mas gifts now after the two of them have entertained me for hours on end.

Good job fellas.

DeputyDave 12-18-04 08:47 PM

Thanks, guys. Nice to know my pain brings you enjoyment ;)

If I get stuck behind the desk for a bit tonight I'll tell a more recent (and shorter, don't worry) date story.

joltaddict 12-19-04 02:27 PM

Originally Posted by skiblet
i remember thinking to myself, with as hot as this girl is, i dont even care if she acts like a retard

And now you know better. :lol:

skiblet 12-19-04 03:20 PM

actually, i dont know if i do.

If i could replay the entire thing, i probably would have tried to score that unimaginably hot piece of A$$. An hour or two of complete humilation iisnt so bad is it ?

alarican 12-20-04 10:07 AM

More More More!!!!!

JEStinson3 12-21-04 03:41 PM

This thread should never be on page three.

Here is another one from me.

Ok, the hooker story. On our second to last night in Vegas last year, me and my roommate, Jeff, decided that we were going to go out and try and get laid. This is much easier to do on your own, so we split up. He was talking to a girl that I was sure was a hooker, he says that she wasn't, but I still don't believe him. Anyway, I'm watching this dueling piano thing at the bar at Harrah's. There is a girl sitting at the video poker machines, just sitting there, playing. I saw her come in alone, but I didn't approach, I was busy watching a group of girls in the bar grope each other on the dance floor. So the show on the dance floor ended, and then I heard the girl at the poker machines ask somebody what time it was. The person that she asked didn't have the time, but I thought to myself "Hey, I have the time." So I went over to her, told her the time and sat down at the machine next to her. We started talking and she told me that her name was Sapphire (no joke - btw that's clue #1) and that her friends were down at Paris at the club there and she didn't feel like being there anymore, so she made her way down the strip. She said that she was a local (clue #2, locals don't spend Wednesday nights at Harrahs) and that she worked at Olympic Gardens (a strip club, at this time I should have known that she was a hooker, but I was guided by a force more powerful than common sense, I was horny.) We talked for a while, I lied about everything except for my name, it was fun. We have a good conversation going. I dropped some money (on poker) and we talked for about an hour or so, until Jeff called to see how it was going (realistically he was just done with the room and wanted to give me the ok), this was a mistake, because it gave her the time to realize just how long we've been talking. Me saying "damn, it's 2:30" probably didn't help much. So, she tells me that she's going to go back to the Paris to meet her friends, so I, being the gentleman that I am, offer to walk her down there, she declines and says that she'd like to see me the next day if I have the time. Hell yeah I would. It would be a great way to spend my last day in Vegas. She gives me her number and tells me to call her and we'll go to dinner and hang out. Cool, so I retire for the night.

That's about time for a paragraph break. Ok, so the next morning everything is going cool. I decide that I won't call too early, it was 3am when we said our good byes. I decide that I'll give her a call at about 2pm. So, 2 pm roles around and I give her a call. She answers and we talk for a little while, and we decide that we are going to do dinner. She doesn't know if she'll have a ride to meet me, so she tells me to call her back at 6 pm and we'll work everything out then.

I call back at 6 pm and get her voicemail. I leave a message with my number (which she had, as I had given it to her the previous night) and told her to call me back soon. I waited about 15 minutes and then decided to meet my Dad and the rest of the group for an expensive dinner at the steakhouse at the Imperial. I didn't really care if I had dinner with this girl, I was really only interested in dessert anyway. About 30 minutes into dinner, my phone rings but it's just Jeff fucking around. I throw a roll at him and continue dinner. The night roles on and I don't hear back from her. No big deal, I've been stood up before and I cleaned up at the craps table, so I was ok with it. We get back to Detroit on Friday, and by the time that the weekend is over, I've forgotten all about her, until about 5 pm on Monday.

I'm driving home from work and my phone rings. It's a 702 number, so I think "Maybe I left something at the hotel? or maybe I didn't properly pay for the pay per porn." I answer it and it's Sapphire. OK, wasn't expecting that. She tells me that she's a "working girl" (her words) and that she wanted to meet me but her pimp was there when I called at 6 and she had to explain to him who I was and he wouldn't let her go out with me. I was very surpirsed and told her to have a good life. She did tell me to call her back if I'm ever in Vegas, but I don't think I will.

If you are at all curious as to what she looks like, she is (or was) listed on the Olympic Gardens website (ogvegas.com) under the name "Sweet".

teddydogg 12-21-04 04:13 PM

I'd hit it!

skiblet 12-21-04 06:00 PM

Originally Posted by teddydogg
I'd hit it!


just to go on the record here..... id hit it, flip it, slap it, tap it, rub it down and then send it around. amen.

Talkin2Phil 12-21-04 09:55 PM

Originally Posted by teddydogg
I'd hit it!

cost’a a Benjamin

NotThatGuy 12-21-04 10:02 PM

I'd like to stick up for the stripper. Not all of the are hookers. Many enjoy just getting naked for money.


HistoryProf 12-21-04 11:30 PM

Originally Posted by pedagogue
I'd like to stick up for the stripper. Not all of the are hookers.


I'm pretty sure most of the ones with pimps are though.

NotThatGuy 12-21-04 11:43 PM

Originally Posted by brizz
I'm pretty sure most of the ones with pimps are though.

You got me there.


muggins 01-07-05 02:38 AM


good story! I've missed these.

skiblet 01-07-05 11:55 AM

Originally Posted by DarkestPhoenix
her good morning breath, which, combined with the horror mouth of the night before, created some sort of monster stench the likes of which would have put Saddam’s chemical cache, at its peak, to shame.[/i]

rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl rotfl

HistoryProf 01-07-05 12:05 PM

someone just emailed this to me....

got a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend of mine the other day. We
lost track of time chatting about the wild nights we used to enjoy together.
I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd like to meet up and maybe
rekindle a little of that magic.

"Wow!" I said, "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now. I'm a bit
older and a bit balder than when you last saw me!"

She giggled and said she was sure I'd meet the challenge!
"Yeah, I said. . . just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistband
that'! s a few inches wider these days."

She laughed and told me to stop being silly! She teased me, saying that she
thought tubby bald men were cute!

"Anyway, I've put on a couple of pounds myself," she giggled. . .

So I told her to fuck off.

freudguy 01-07-05 01:14 PM

Two short ones:

I had been dating Nikki for about a month. I was in college, she was a high school senior (perfectly legal). I just couldn't get past 2nd base with her to save my life. Then, one night, we are making out something heavy on her parents' couch (they were gone for the evening). Groping, kissing, licking, fondling. I get to third, finally. Of course, this got me even hotter. I rub a little, she kisses me deeper, pulls her blouse off. Oh man, I'm thinking, finally! She moves her head down to my crotch, "Yeah baby"! Then, instead of unzipping me, she rests her head right on my erection, which hurt a little and just rested there. I wait ....wait some more. Nothing. Then she says, "I'm gonna really miss Yvonne (the French exchange student that we were friends with)". It didn't go any further. Needless to say, we didn't date much longer and I eventually boinked Yvonne before she left for Paris. Hey, I was 19.

Second: I had been lusting after this therapist that I worked with for months. The girl was GORGEOUS, like Tori Spelling without the horse face. I eventually got the courage to ask her out after being told she didn't have a boyfriend to anyone's knowledge. She said Yes! The day comes, I'm nervous as hell but calm down as the evening progresses. We talk, talk some more. She laughs at my jokes and seems genuinely interested in my stories. She touches my hand, flips her hair around, maintains eye contact - all the tell-tale signs that she was into me. We discuss our high school lives, mention that I was very shy when I was younger and that I would never have had the guts to ask her out then. At this point, her entire demeanor changes and she said, "Now, we are just going out as friends, right?"
"Umm, yeah, sure" - thinking WTF? We'd had a pleasant evening so I don't want to bring it to a screeching halt even though I felt the bottom had dropped out. From then on, I notice that the casual touching, hair-flipping, eye contact & spontaneous laughter has ceased somewhat. Anyways, we see a movie (Four Weddings & a Funeral) @ the theater, laugh, and she seems to be more flirtatious afterwards. As I pull up to her apartment, I ask her if she might want to eventually be interested in going out on a real date. She responds, "Oh, well, I'm actually seeing someone already." She gets out, says she had a pleasant evening and doesn't talk to me at work much anymore. She eventually married that guy.....and separated 6 months later with an eventual divorce.

To this day, I don't have any idea as to how a woman's mind works regarding dating/relationships (unless they have a personality disorder, which I am versed in due to my occupation).

skiblet 01-07-05 02:08 PM

look at it this way though - you would have been that guy that she divorced. and probably 1/2 your net worth would have been sucked into that black hole, never to be seen again-

arent women great

Talkin2Phil 01-07-05 02:27 PM

Originally Posted by freudguy
Second: The girl was .... like Tori Spelling without the horse face.

http://www.born-today.com/Today/pix/spelling_t.jpg minus


I'm confused, what's left?

alarican 01-07-05 02:44 PM

This stuff should have its own room!

HistoryProf 01-07-05 03:07 PM

Originally Posted by Talkin2Phil

Anorexia? Check.

Terrible Boob Job? Check.

Grating and irritating personality? Check.

Complete lack of talent? Check.

Come on!! What's not to love?

Minor Threat 01-07-05 03:41 PM

Originally Posted by DeputyDave
Part Two

"I sat down to pee"


NotThatGuy 01-07-05 04:41 PM

Originally Posted by brizz
Anorexia? Check.

Terrible Boob Job? Check.

Grating and irritating personality? Check.

Complete lack of talent? Check.

Come on!! What's not to love?

Uhm...that is my typical girl...I see nothing wrong with it.


skiblet 01-10-05 03:21 AM

I like how your stories have pictures to go along with the text. A good book needs illustrations. Good layout.

As far as this chick goes, any girl that says "staying here and having your babies" is your que to head for the door ... .. .. .

... still, you cant beat a good gangster flick.

skiblet 01-10-05 06:19 PM

I can print them all out for a rainey day -

or a long and painful session of moving my bowels, when the standard fare of maxim, and heavy metal blasting in the next room just simply wont do the trick -

I want the signed hardback version with limited edition directors cut bonus features and naked pics of all your exes and distant cousins. and pets.
ok ive said too much.

skiblet 01-10-05 10:17 PM

DP, you are yelling with the all caps ! The book deal is off ! I want a divorce. Im taking the car, and the kids, we're through -

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:40 PM.

Copyright © 2021 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.