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How easy is it for a guy to be labeled shallow?

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How easy is it for a guy to be labeled shallow?

Old 11-15-04, 09:55 PM
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How easy is it for a guy to be labeled shallow?

Okay. Today I was at work and it was about time to close one of my stores and two girls whom I work with were talking about girls and dating standards.
They asked me what my standard was for a girl that I would date and I responded that all I wanted was a girl who didn't weigh more than I did (215lbs and close to six feet tall). One of the girls responded that that was a really shallow thing to say and quite a pig-headed remark.
She said that a girl could go and make herself beautiful for a guy with the right motivation. She also remarked how her boyfriend was rather overweight but she thought he was the sweetest thing in the world.
Now...what she didn't acknowledge was the fact that he (her BF) and herself were both rather slim at one point but since they got together, they have both let themselves go. What she also doesn't know about her BF(who works at another store with me sometimes), is that he routinely scopes other women. For the record, he has also tried to break up with her on many occasions but she always draws him back with sex.

Sorry if I got off topic, but surely I am not setting my standards too high for myself am I?
Old 11-15-04, 09:58 PM
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You should have turned the tables on her and asked her how much her boyfriend/husband makes and just as easily labeled her a slut or easy.
Old 11-15-04, 10:02 PM
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And to answer your question. That is not a "shallow" answer. That is a truthful answer. I don't ever see myself dating someone who weighs anywhere near me. Is that shallow? No. It's personal preference and high standards. Are they too high for my own sake? Perhaps. But as long as I maintain those standards, I will be happy with whatever catch I eventually get in relationship terms.

Her comment about you being shallow is just a defense because she can not handle the truth that your standards may not be realistic to her needs. While she may be "content" with her current boyfriend, I'm sure she would easily jump to the next relationship with the more successful and better looking guy if the chance presented itself.

I suggest you use her line against her then.
Old 11-15-04, 10:02 PM
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You should have just said:

"Ok. I may be shallow but your boyfriend told me you swallow! So STFU Noob!"
Old 11-15-04, 10:05 PM
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Originally posted by Jackskeleton
And to answer your question. That is not a "shallow" answer. That is a truthful answer. I don't ever see myself dating someone who weighs anywhere near me. Is that shallow? No. It's personal preference and high standards. Are they too high for my own sake? Perhaps. But as long as I maintain those standards, I will be happy with whatever catch I eventually get in relationship terms.

Her comment about you being shallow is just a defense because she can not handle the truth that your standards may not be realistic to her needs. While she may be "content" with her current boyfriend, I'm sure she would easily jump to the next relationship with the more successful and better looking guy if the chance presented itself.

I suggest you use her line against her then.

I would have, but I am a manager and she is a part-time employee and that could easily be used against me if I am not careful.
Old 11-15-04, 10:05 PM
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So you're under 6 feet (I love the 'close to' 6 feet comment ) and about 215. You're pretty heavy there, porko.

And I think you're actually proud of being called shallow. Why else start a thread about it?
Old 11-15-04, 10:13 PM
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Originally posted by Bushdog

And I think you're actually proud of being called shallow. Why else start a thread about it?
Maybe because he didn't think it was shallow, and wondered if maybe he was, given her reaction?
Old 11-15-04, 10:16 PM
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I don't think that is shallow. If you had gone on about breast size, waist size, etc. etc. then I could understand. However, you mentioned a fairly high ceiling of what she could be, and most would probably fit that category. But she probably considered it shallow because you only talked about physical appearance and didn't mention anything about personality.
Old 11-15-04, 10:20 PM
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Originally posted by kvrdave
But she probably considered it shallow because you only talked about physical appearance and didn't mention anything about personality.
That's most likely it. Women think personality should trump anything else for men, even though it's completely absurd to presume that people don't have physical preferences.
Old 11-15-04, 10:24 PM
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Originally posted by kvrdave
But she probably considered it shallow because you only talked about physical appearance and didn't mention anything about personality.
Whenever I mention personality, women say I'm full of shit. Go figure.
Old 11-15-04, 11:21 PM
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Sorry, when I see a women walk by and I say "God DAAAAAMN" it's not because of a winning personality. Unless we start calling tits and ass aspects of ones personality.
Old 11-15-04, 11:34 PM
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This thread is * topic, and therefore, so is the original poster.



PS: This post is shallow, and the poster is even more shallow for posting in a thread he thinks is shallow. Go team!

*grammar edit: "This thread is A SHALLOW topic,..."

Last edited by harpo787; 11-16-04 at 02:20 PM.
Old 11-16-04, 12:24 AM
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How dare you judge a woman by her looks! J/k

Just remember, until women learn how to read minds, all you have to do is be quiet and smile and you'll never be considered shallow.

PS. You wanna see some shallow guys go click on the Denise Richards thread in Adult Forum.
Old 11-16-04, 07:29 AM
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I am a bit shallow, but if a girl is good looking but has a bad personality. I would not go out whit here ever. I would rather go out with a not so god looking girl that was nice. but i am obsessed with hair, so that is important to me. i am picky not shallow i guess. Ah i don't know what i am anymore.
Old 11-16-04, 08:36 AM
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Show her your "Oh" face.
Old 11-16-04, 09:27 AM
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Originally posted by Bushdog
So you're under 6 feet (I love the 'close to' 6 feet comment ) and about 215. You're pretty heavy there, porko.

And I think you're actually proud of being called shallow. Why else start a thread about it?

Thanks for the "" , I think.

For the record, I now have a personal trainer and have a consistent workout schedule (at the gym with the girl I like but do not know). I have lost some weight and built muscles, not to mention gotten higher self esteem.

While this strays a little bit, guys might be shallow, but women can be as well. The first comment I typically hear a woman say about a guy is "He's cute!", and it seems that is the first qualification for consideration nowadays.
Also, maybe it's just me, but I am starting to notice that men are hitting the gym now more than ever. There has always been pressure on women to look good, but now it seems it is beginning to set in on men as well. While this might sound shallow, I see more women that some would consider "mediocre" (not me, others) with studly guys more often now than a few years ago. Before someone says there can be hot girls with guys that are "mediocre", let me say that I am well aware of that. In fact, I would say that a less than stellar guy with a good looking woman seemed quite common a few years ago, but now I am seeing less and less of it.
Old 11-16-04, 09:48 AM
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Not shallow...I personally would not date a girl pushing anywhere near 215 pounds...I guess I am even worse than shallow but at least you are not lying about it.

Also, her BF checks out other girls? I think every guy, or almost every, 'checks out' attractive women. No matter what relationship they are in. It's our natural instinct to check out other women.

Sounds like she is just pissed about her relationship.
Old 11-16-04, 09:49 AM
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OP = not shallow
Girl who told him he was, who lures her BF back with sex when they get close to a break up = insecure about her prospects now that "She has let herself go" and was told outright "I wouldnt date anyone heavier or as heavy as me", hitting a chord with her becasue apparently now (according to his answer) she feels that she is not as high on the scopable hottie list, or the "Yeah im hooking up with that" list, as she used to be.

she hit you with a baited question, and as her boyfriend apparently works with you in other stores, you can very easilly find yourself caught in the middle of something you dont want to be in the middle of (unless she were a hottie and has a bunch of hottie friends....hey if your gonna be shallow, you might as well be for the right reasons).

she is obviously insecure. As a manager, find a viable work-related reason to fire or transfer her before she starts to let that fester and grow into some sort of means to bait you into a sexual harassment case (NOT that difficult to do in this day and age....just look at them funny and you'll find yourself on the wrong side of a courtroom bench)
Old 11-16-04, 09:53 AM
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Doesn't sound shallow at all. 215 is being pretty damn generous if you ask me.
Old 11-16-04, 10:10 AM
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I don't think that's bad. I don't like overly skinny chicks, but 215 isn't that small unless she was 6' 6" or something.
Old 11-16-04, 04:12 PM
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Originally posted by sn9ke_eyes
I don't think that's bad. I don't like overly skinny chicks, but 215 isn't that small unless she was 6' 6" or something.

I actually don't mind heavier women, as long as they are proportinately even. I once saw a woman who weighed 245 lbs. but was 7' feet tall. She looked gorgeous.
Old 11-16-04, 04:21 PM
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Everybody says "personality" but that's bullshit. Personality doesn't help you keep it up when you go to bed with her for the 10 millionth time.
Old 11-16-04, 05:18 PM
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That girl is full of shit.. she know better even though she wan't admit it to you.
Old 11-16-04, 05:22 PM
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ok, this girl that said you were shallow, what does she weigh in at?

215 is a lot for a normal girl. The tall ones and very muscular ones being an exception, 215 is pretty damn fat.

What you said isn't being shallow at all.
Old 11-16-04, 05:29 PM
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You should tell that girl that being codependent isn't a virtue.

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