Go Back  DVD Talk Forum > General Discussions > Other Talk
Reload this Page >

Dear Abby-type question (turning away a friend)

Other Talk "Otterville" plus Religion/Politics

Dear Abby-type question (turning away a friend)

Old 11-06-04, 09:05 AM
  #1  
DVD Talk Hall of Fame
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 7,935
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Dear Abby-type question (turning away a friend)

The answer is probably "just tell your friend why", but it's easier said than done.

The issue. Two years ago I drove two hours to a bigtime rivalry college football game with my wife and one of my good friends. GF (good friend) brought along a guy he has been friend's with all his life (WF = weird friend). WF didn't ruin the trip, but made things a little unpleasant by the way he acted (drank too much, left food all over our car, creeped my wife out... and to top it off he is a fan of the other school so we had to hear crap after the game driving home).

Here it is two years later. GF asked if he could come with us to this game again. It's a BIG game and I just want to have a good time and enjoy this rare experience. This GF knows I invited a 4th party who ended up saying he couldn't go. That leaves an open seat in my car and GF emailed asking if he could invite WF again.

How would you handle saying no? I don't want my GF to know that we don't care for WF. My wife actually said she didn't want to go if WF comes along.

Just be upfront?
Old 11-06-04, 09:11 AM
  #2  
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Michigan
Posts: 450
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
I'd pull the GF aside and say I'd love for you to come with us, but WF kind of creeps the wife out. If he really is a GF he should understand and drop asking to bring WF along. That is if you don't mind GF tagging along alone.
Old 11-06-04, 09:18 AM
  #3  
DVD Talk Gold Edition
 
Abelkems's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: NW GA
Posts: 2,785
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Yeah, the easiest way is to blame it on the wife.
Old 11-06-04, 09:33 AM
  #4  
DVD Talk Hall of Fame
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 7,935
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Originally posted by Abelkems
Yeah, the easiest way is to blame it on the wife.
LOL...yeah, I know I'm putting MW (my wife) in a situation (AS) to be the bad person (BP). Maybe I'll just talk to GF about WF.

BT IC TT FO IF HM NG. BT NW CO SS.

OK!
Old 11-06-04, 09:37 AM
  #5  
DVD Talk Gold Edition
 
Abelkems's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: NW GA
Posts: 2,785
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Just talk to him, if he is a good friend he'll understand. He can't expect you to like everyone he likes.

Or you could tell GF you saw WF looking at GF's ass all night.
Old 11-06-04, 09:42 AM
  #6  
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Michigan
Posts: 450
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Originally posted by Abelkems


Or you could tell GF you saw WF looking at GF's ass all night.
That might be why GF wants WF along
Old 11-06-04, 12:08 PM
  #7  
DVD Talk Legend
 
cultshock's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: True North Strong & Free
Posts: 12,608
Likes: 0
Received 1 Like on 1 Post
I would just tell him the truth. I've had situations like that before. Just because you're good friends with someone, doesn't mean you're obligated to like your friend's friends. Not everyone is compatable. If he truly is a "good friend" I'm sure he'll understand. I would.
Old 11-06-04, 12:10 PM
  #8  
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Hualien, Taiwan
Posts: 501
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
I'm sure your GF probably thinks that WF is pretty messed up as well, but feels sorry for the guy. I was in a similar position and I would be honest with your GF on where you stand with WF.
Old 11-06-04, 12:15 PM
  #9  
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Cloud Cuckoo Land
Posts: 866
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Yeah, just be upfront. Don't be a wuss and beat around the bush. You're both guys. He'll get over it.
Old 11-06-04, 12:28 PM
  #10  
DVD Talk Legend
 
AGuyNamedMike's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: (formerly known as Inglenook Hampendick) Fairbanks, Alaska!
Posts: 15,275
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Another vote here for just being straight up about it. Don't just blame the wife, and don't hem and haw. Tell GF you like him and welcome him along, but that WF is emphatically NOT invited because he: drinks too much, is a slob, is annoying as hell, and happens to creep your wife out. As has been said, GF should understand completely. If not, then just you and your wife will go and have a wonderful time.
Old 11-06-04, 12:46 PM
  #11  
DVD Talk Hero
 
Th0r S1mpson's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 36,443
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts


"Seat's taken."
Old 11-06-04, 01:14 PM
  #12  
DVD Talk Hero
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Words
Posts: 28,207
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Don't blame your wife. Tell him straight up.

It works best over some beers and steak.

Or maybe I'm just hungry.

-pedagogue
Old 11-06-04, 01:17 PM
  #13  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: Aostin, TX, USA
Posts: 19,876
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
I'm pretty sure you should never mix your GF with you WF.

Oh... that's NOT GirlFriend and WiFe?
Old 11-06-04, 01:19 PM
  #14  
DVD Talk Hero
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Words
Posts: 28,207
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
I think you should ask Dr. Angus.

-pedagogue
Old 11-07-04, 12:58 AM
  #15  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Heat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Central Illinois
Posts: 16,701
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
I'd go the diplomatic route and just lie to GF.

Tell him that you are expecting another friend that he doesn't know to go, and of course the day of the game you tell GF that your other friend had to back out at the last second.
Old 11-07-04, 01:36 AM
  #16  
DVD Talk God
 
kvrdave's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 86,201
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Ure you could be upfront and honest about the whole thing, but I would also vote for telling GF that the wife is creeped out.
Old 11-07-04, 04:10 AM
  #17  
DVD Talk Special Edition
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: GO BLUE!
Posts: 1,341
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Just say something like 'GF YS IHY HCC HS FH' it's about as understandable as whatever you said earlier.

But seriously what game is it?
Old 11-07-04, 08:50 AM
  #18  
DVD Talk Hall of Fame
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 7,935
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Originally posted by BlasTech Industries CEO
But seriously what game is it?
Auburn vs. Georgia.
I already was kind of a butthead to my good friend about this game. Two years ago he and this weird guy bought tix outside the stadium and then came to our reserved seats and sat on the stairs next to us. I didn't care for the over-crowding (and possibly pissing off the people I sit next to year in and year out) and also having such an intense rivalry with fans of the other team sitting there right next to us cheering on the other side (and pissing off the people next to us even more). I told GF that if he comes that he can't sit next to us again. This guy always shows up at games and tries to scalp cheap tickets and then goes and tries to find better seats. That's okay if the game isn't sold out, but that's not the case. So, going after WF will be the second time I've had to mildly confront GF.

I leaning towards being upfront, but it's not going to be easy.
Old 11-07-04, 09:03 AM
  #19  
DVD Talk Hero
 
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: Shackled
Posts: 35,372
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Have a drink first. Or imagine what life'll be like if WF goes there with you.
Old 11-07-04, 09:13 AM
  #20  
DVD Talk Gold Edition
 
Abelkems's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: NW GA
Posts: 2,785
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Just find a date for your friend. Then there is no extra seat and your friend might get lucky. Everybody wins.
Old 11-09-04, 09:40 AM
  #21  
DVD Talk Hall of Fame
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 7,935
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Okay, I emailed my friend about this. I simply said that I didn't want to sit in a car for two hours after the game having it rubbed in my face (if we lose). WF did this a bit two years ago when we lost. That might sound like sour grapes, but this game is so big for me this year that I'll be doubly upset if we lose (national championship implications).

GF apologized for his friend and said he doesn't mean harm. GF didn't seem upset at all and said he'd look into asking someone else.

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Thread Tools
Search this Thread

Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Do Not Sell My Personal Information

Copyright 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.