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How do you approach asking a woman out after her b/f has passed away?

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How do you approach asking a woman out after her b/f has passed away?

Old 11-03-04, 09:00 AM
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How do you approach asking a woman out after her b/f has passed away?

First off, this isn't for me (really!). A friend at work was asking my advice about the following situation:

There is a woman at work that he has been work-friends with. I knew her but not more than to say "Hi" and a little idle chat so I never really knew much of her personal life.

My friend told me yesterday that she's no longer with the company and her boy friend had passed away 3 weeks ago. He found out that she's been trying to get in touch with him. They have now exchanged numbers.

He was asking me about how to go about asking her out.

I told him to be careful about rebound and that by moving too fast, it could chase her away. I told him to just ask her for coffee or lunch and then see how things proceed. She might just need someone to talk to.

But I told him I'll utilize the Power of Otter for advice and any past experiences of this sort. (Okay I never said the words "Power" or "Otter" but I digress).

So, any thoughts... advice... experiences in a situation like this?

Thank you...
Old 11-03-04, 09:08 AM
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agreed.. he could easily fall into the "friend" zone.. if he already cares about her, tell him just to be there as a friend.. she probably needs that more than hooking up with some guy


I told him to be careful about rebound and that by moving too fast, it could chase her away. I told him to just ask her for coffee or lunch and then see how things proceed. She might just need someone to talk to.
Old 11-03-04, 09:16 AM
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3 weeks ?? Either she wasn't close to her 'boyfriend' or your friend is trying to move in way too fast. She may be in a highly emotional state right now but I think it's in very bad taste to try to score off of it. If she just wants someone to talk to right now that's all he should be there for.... I would guess a few months need to pass before attempting more depending on how serious the relationship was.
Old 11-03-04, 09:29 AM
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"Hey, sorry about [bf's name]. Death sucks. Wanna sex?"
Old 11-03-04, 09:39 AM
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Yeah 3 weeks is way to soon. Who knows maybe she even killed him, he might wanna bail on her.
Old 11-03-04, 12:04 PM
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He should be the "friend who goes the extra mile" during the tough time in her life. Let her discover what a great guy he is.
Old 11-03-04, 12:08 PM
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Originally posted by aintnosin
He should be the "friend who goes the extra mile" during the tough time in her life. Let her discover what a great guy he is.
Agreed, if your friend is willing to wait, he might be better off in the long run.
Old 11-03-04, 12:20 PM
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How long was she dating her boyfriend? If a long time, she's on the rebound and your "friend" should remain friendly, but not really make any moves for a little bit.
Old 11-03-04, 12:28 PM
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3 weeks? Damn, the body isn't even cold yet. He better be in for a long period of waiting if she is worth it. If he nails her in the next couple of weeks then I say she isn't worth it....unless she hated the guy...or WORSE...knocked him off
Old 11-03-04, 01:43 PM
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"Hey, sorry about [bf's name]. Death sucks. Do you like fisting?"
Old 11-03-04, 02:33 PM
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show her how big your hog is - if it was smaller than his, she'll call you a callous bastard.....if she fucks you right off, then yours is bigger than his was - double bonus
Old 11-03-04, 03:57 PM
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Well, I thought I would hop in and be the first to make a perverted smartass comment. I should have known I need to be quicker than that around here.
Old 11-03-04, 03:57 PM
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Old 11-03-04, 04:01 PM
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Take the direct approach, say "I see you carry a torch for a stiff, well check this out..." and then use JupiterPrime's hog revealing idea.
Old 11-03-04, 04:19 PM
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Originally posted by Bandoman
"Hey, sorry about [bf's name]. Death sucks. Wanna sex?"
Old 11-03-04, 04:31 PM
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So... I hear you're available now...
Old 11-03-04, 04:38 PM
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I don't.

Tell the 'friend' to back off....it isn't appropriate.

-pedagogue
Old 11-03-04, 04:52 PM
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Originally posted by pedagogue
Tell the 'friend' to back off....it isn't appropriate.
Or follow my advice above. She needs a friend now, not a problem.
Old 11-03-04, 08:13 PM
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Originally posted by Heat
How long was she dating her boyfriend? If a long time, she's on the rebound and your "friend" should remain friendly, but not really make any moves for a little bit.
Yeah, I forgot to ask him but I can do that tomorrow.

Thanks for the replies.... even the "fisting" ones (yep, I should've known)

I'll pass on the advice... except the "fisting"
Old 11-03-04, 08:17 PM
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Go up to her and say, "I'm sorry to hear about your boyfriend, but let's face it, if he's inconsiderate enough to die and leave a fine piece of ass like you sitting around lonely, he didn't deserve you. I'm alive and I'm all man."
Old 11-03-04, 08:18 PM
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Hey baby lets shag?



Or maybe you tell him - ITS WAY TOO SOON!!!
Old 11-03-04, 08:18 PM
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Wanna fuck?

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