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U wake up, your penis is gone.

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U wake up, your penis is gone.

Old 11-02-04, 10:58 AM
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U wake up, your penis is gone.

Woman Accused of Severing Man's Penis

Mon Nov 1, 5:00 PM ET Strange News - AP



HOUSTON - A woman accused of cutting off her boyfriend's penis with a kitchen knife while he was sleeping was being sought by police Saturday, sheriff's detectives said. The severed organ has not been found since the attack Thursday morning at the woman's home.



The 33-year-old victim is in Ben Taub General Hospital and is expected to survive. The 45-year-old woman told detectives she cut the man because he had been unfaithful and had physically abused her. Eighty percent of his penis was severed, detectives said.


The Harris County Sheriff's Department declined to release the couple's names Saturday because the woman has not been charged.


Detectives said the man was on probation for assaulting the woman last year and found a court order prohibiting him from going near her. He was not abusing her when the attack occurred, said sheriff's Lt. Ruben Diaz.


Despite the court order, the woman invited him to her home Thursday, Diaz said. The man works a night shift, and after he arrived, went to bed.


Later in the morning, the victim was awakened by a sharp pain. "He sees the bed full of blood, he immediately looks down and knows what's going on," Diaz said. "She's standing in the room. She's still there, staring at him."


The woman's sister and 22-year-old daughter heard the man's screams and drove him to a hospital. The woman with the knife refused to help them, Diaz said.


The woman later spoke with detectives after her daughter reached her on a cellular phone. She refused to return to the house, Diaz said.


The couple had lived together in the United States for about four years, but are not believed to be legally married, Diaz said. Detectives say she still is married to another man in her homeland of El Salvador (news - web sites). They said she may be headed there.

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmp.../severed_penis

Actually sounds like a good case of payback.
Old 11-02-04, 11:08 AM
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Ew. What a wierd state this Texas is.
Old 11-02-04, 11:15 AM
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I woke up this morning with a bad hangover, and my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time. It's detachable. This comes in handy a lot of
the time. I can leave it home when I think it's going to get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out when I don't need it. But now and then I go to a
party, get drunk, and the next morning I can't for the life of me remember
what I did with it. First I looked around my apartment and I couldn't find
it, so I called up the place where the party was, they hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet coz for some reason, I leave
it there sometimes, but not this time. So I told them if it pops up to let
me know. I called a few people who were at the party, but they were no help
either. I was starting to get desperate. I really don't like being without
my penis for too long. It makes me feel like less of a man and I really
hate to have to sit down every time I take a leak. After a few hours of
searching the house and calling everyone I could think of, I was starting
to get very depressed, so I went to the Kiev and ate breakfast. Then as I
walked down Second Avenue toward St. Mark's Place,where all those people
sell used books and other junk on the street, I saw my penis lying on a
blanket next to a broken toaster oven. Some guy was selling it. I had to
buy it off him. He wanted 22 bucks, but I talked him down to 17. I took it
home, washed it off, and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached, but I don't
know. Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass, I like having a
detachable penis
Old 11-02-04, 11:18 AM
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Re: U wake up, your penis is gone.

Originally posted by Maxwell Smart
Later in the morning, the victim was awakened by a sharp pain.
Umm....and he slept through the butchering of his jimmy? I'm guessing he won't be much of a heavy sleeper anymore.
Old 11-02-04, 11:22 AM
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Also missing: your "Yo".
Old 11-02-04, 11:23 AM
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Old 11-02-04, 12:16 PM
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man that's brutal.
Old 11-02-04, 12:19 PM
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Venkman: "It's true, your honor. This man has no dick."
Old 11-02-04, 12:27 PM
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and you guys thought the "dont mess with texas" slogan was just about littering...
Old 11-02-04, 12:39 PM
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He should have left the old one alone and gone for the 22 year old, or is that what got him in trouble?
Old 11-02-04, 01:10 PM
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Originally posted by Cusm
He should have left the old one alone and gone for the 22 year old, or is that what got him in trouble?
Yeah, younger girls will usually put up with more. You don't want to mess with older bitches.
Old 11-02-04, 01:11 PM
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But really? Can u live without a penis? I mean I know u wouldnt want to.....

How would u piss?

What about when u get a boner? Does blood just go gushin out everywhere?
Old 11-02-04, 01:57 PM
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Originally posted by Maxwell Smart
But really? Can u live without a penis? I mean I know u wouldnt want to.....

How would u piss?

What about when u get a boner? Does blood just go gushin out everywhere?
I would think they would reattach or at the least sew up the wound.
Old 11-02-04, 01:59 PM
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Originally posted by Maxwell Smart
But really? Can u live without a penis?
I suppose most women can.
Old 11-02-04, 02:45 PM
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Old 11-02-04, 02:52 PM
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Originally posted by eXcentris
I suppose most lesbians can.
fixed.
Old 11-02-04, 04:31 PM
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BREAKING NEWS

Penis seen Voting

Mon Nov 2, 5:00 PM ET Strange News - AP

HOUSTON - A penis--without its owner--has been spotted voting at a local Houson voting booth. When asked who it voted for, it commented, "If you people vote that guy back in office for another 4 years, you'll now have two pricks running around without any sense of direction."

Old 11-02-04, 05:33 PM
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Originally posted by DVD Polizei
BREAKING NEWS

Penis seen Voting

Mon Nov 2, 5:00 PM ET Strange News - AP

HOUSTON - A penis--without its owner--has been spotted voting at a local Houson voting booth. When asked who it voted for, it commented, "No matter who you people for in office for the next 4 years, you'll now have two pricks running around without any sense of direction."

Fixed.
Old 11-03-04, 12:52 AM
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Note to self: Do not cheat on girlfriend from Latin America.
Old 11-07-04, 02:18 PM
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quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover, and my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time. It's detachable. This comes in handy a lot of
the time. I can leave it home when I think it's going to get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out when I don't need it. But now and then I go to a
party, get drunk, and the next morning I can't for the life of me remember
what I did with it. First I looked around my apartment and I couldn't find
it, so I called up the place where the party was, they hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet coz for some reason, I leave
it there sometimes, but not this time. So I told them if it pops up to let
me know. I called a few people who were at the party, but they were no help
either. I was starting to get desperate. I really don't like being without
my penis for too long. It makes me feel like less of a man and I really
hate to have to sit down every time I take a leak. After a few hours of
searching the house and calling everyone I could think of, I was starting
to get very depressed, so I went to the Kiev and ate breakfast. Then as I
walked down Second Avenue toward St. Mark's Place,where all those people
sell used books and other junk on the street, I saw my penis lying on a
blanket next to a broken toaster oven. Some guy was selling it. I had to
buy it off him. He wanted 22 bucks, but I talked him down to 17. I took it
home, washed it off, and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached, but I don't
know. Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass, I like having a
detachable penis
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Originally posted by mikehunt
I actually own this CD... It's King Missle
Old 11-07-04, 04:24 PM
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nts: stay away from any 45yo houstonian women!

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