Go Back  DVD Talk Forum > General Discussions > Other Talk
Reload this Page >

Advice (please): dissed a friend and need to make it up

Other Talk "Otterville" plus Religion/Politics

Advice (please): dissed a friend and need to make it up

Old 08-28-04, 07:16 AM
  #1  
Senior Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 519
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Advice (please): dissed a friend and need to make it up

So last night, a good *female* friend of mine was celebrating her birthday at a club. I arrived with some other friends. The cover was more than we expected and the friend celebrating the birthday apologized since she was trying to get us in for a cheaper rate. I took her apology as a way to get out of there, so I left with my other friends.

We went drinking at a place that had no cover, but this whole thing still sits with me rather uneasily. I can easily afford the cover at the original place, but it was a combination of this weird social phobia (I hate being in this whole clubby part of the city and meeting a whole bunch of people I don't know) and just not wanting to really be out late that made me leave. Frankly, I'm not even sure why I left.

Anyway, I phoned her last night because I felt bad, but it turns out no one she invited turned up (she was doing a joint birthday with a co-worker, and only the co-worker's folks showed) and even though she said it was okay, I feel pretty horrible. At one point in our conversation, she said, "It's not like you can't afford the cover!" I know it's not completely okay with her that we left, and even though I tried blaming it on the people I was with, the fault lies pretty well all with me.

How should I make this up to her? I can send her something next week (her actual birthday isn't until next week) but what should it be? Normally I would send flowers, but I don't want to step into her boyfriend's territory. Any ideas? Are there "safe" flowers? What would be a good way to apologize and smooth this over? I've known her forever....
Old 08-28-04, 07:21 AM
  #2  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 17,205
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Take her out to dinner next week.
Old 08-28-04, 07:22 AM
  #3  
DVD Talk Platinum Edition
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Bay Area, CA
Posts: 3,294
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Red roses signify love and affection.

Yellow roses signify friendship.

Send her a dozen yellow roses. It'll let her know you're sorry and it won't step on her boyfriend's toes (unless he's SuperJealousMan, at which point you're screwed no matter what).
Old 08-28-04, 07:23 AM
  #4  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 23,460
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
joke answer = take her to the top bunk and give her a good lump sum fisting she won't soon forget...

real answer = just be honest that you didn't want to be there and why - then tell her you'll make it up to her by buying her a couple of rounds or whatever. if she's known you forever, she should know you didn't mean to diss her - and she should get over it regardless. You shouldn't have tried to put the blame on your friends or make lame excuses. People appreciate honesty.
Old 08-28-04, 07:31 AM
  #5  
DVD Talk Godfather
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: City of the lakers.. riots.. and drug dealing cops.. los(t) Angel(e)s. ca.
Posts: 54,199
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
I agree with trigger. If you give her roses then it wont end well. She will either get the wrong message out of it no matter what color you give her or you mark yourself as her bitch forever more. Just be honest with her about your feeling and freaky social phobias


"It's not like you can't afford the cover!"
What a great response.. you should have come back with a "deal with it" and then hung up.

I know it's not completely okay with her that we left, and even though I tried blaming it on the people I was with, the fault lies pretty well all with me.
Who's wearing the pants in this friendship? Tell her flat out that you weren't comfortable there and you wanted to head out. if she can't handle it then she could go suck a pickle. Don't put the blame on others just face up to the fact that you didn't want to be there. She needs to learn how to face reality and the truth.
Old 08-28-04, 07:34 AM
  #6  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 23,460
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Yeah, really - I mean, nobody showed up to the froo-froo club - she should've taken a hint and left with your crew.

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Thread Tools
Search this Thread

Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Do Not Sell My Personal Information

Copyright 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.