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Otters, help me get a part in a play...

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Otters, help me get a part in a play...

Old 08-27-04, 02:09 AM
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Otters, help me get a part in a play...

I'm auditioning for "The Rocky Horror Show" on Tuesday.

The criteria I need are a monologue (not to exceed two minutes), a rock song (which I have to sing without accompaniment for a minute) and a ballad (same again).

Now, here's where I need your help;

Here are the songs I'm thinking of singing. For the rock song, they suggested something Billy Idol/Bono/Rolling Stones-ish. I'm planning on singing David Bowie's "Rebel Rebel".

For my ballad, I'm thinking "Hallelujah", in a very Jeff Buckley sort-of way.

My monologue, however... still don't have one.
I hate those "222 2-minute monologues" or "audition monologues for real actors" books. They're pretty bad most of the time.
I don't want to do anything too classical. Somehow I don't think "The Rocky Horror SHow" calls for the Henry V St. Crispian's Day speech.
I don't want anything laced with profanity. If there's one or two "fuck"s or "shit"s that I can fake around, that's cool. But I'm not prepared to get up there and do Blake from Glengarry Glen Ross.

So, any suggestions? I know some of you have acted before, and some of you even work on movies... I'm just looking for suggestions to help a play audition. If you could help me on picking a monologue, or picking better songs, that would be excellent.

I'll be auditioning for Brad, Riff-raff, or Dr. Frank N. Furter.
Old 08-27-04, 02:18 AM
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Hmm....something from Rent?

Why....because I"m listening to it right now.

-pedagogue
Old 08-27-04, 02:51 AM
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Do Tim Roth's monologue from his closing scene in Legend of 1900. You could probably stretch it out to 2 mins...
Old 08-27-04, 09:29 AM
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I'll look into 1900...

WHich bit from "Rent", Peda?
Old 08-27-04, 06:29 PM
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I like Josh Dobbin's suggestion the best so far:

Essentially, Shakespeare was a formula writer. Once he found a device that worked, he used it. Over and over and over again. So, Mr. Shakespeare, the question I have is this: Why did you write sixteen comedies when you could have written just one?
In answer to this question, I have taken the liberty of condensing all sixteen of Shakespeare’s comedies into a single play, which I’ve entitled ‘The Comedy of Two Well-Measured Gentlemen Lost in the Merry Wives of Venice on a Midsummer’s Twelfth Night in Winter’. Or ‘Cymbeline Taming Pericles the Merchant in the Tempest of Love As Much As You Like It For Nothing’. Or ‘The Love Boat Goes to Verona.’

Act One. A Spanish duke swears an oath of celibacy and turns the rule of his kingdom over to his sadistic and tyrannical twin brother. He learns some fantastical feats of magic and sets sail for the Golden Age of Greece, along with his daughters, three beautiful and virginal sets of identical twins. While rounding the heel of Italy, the duke’s ship is caught in a terrible tempest which, in its fury, casts the duke up on a desert island, along with the loveliest and most virginal of his daughters, who stumbles into a cave, where she is molested by a creature who is either a man or a fish or both.

Act Two. The long-lost children of the duke’s brother, also coincidentally three sets of identical twins, have just arrived in Italy. Though still possessed of an inner nobility, they are ragged, destitute, penniless, flea-infested shadows of the men they once were, and in the utmost extremity, are forced to borrow money from an old Jew, who deceives them into putting down their brains as collateral on the loan. Meanwhile, the six brothers fall in love with six Italian sisters, three of whom are contentious, sharp-tongued little shrews, while the other three are submissive, airheaded little bimbos.

Act Three. The shipwrecked identical daughters of the duke wash up on the shores of Italy, disguise themselves as men, and become pages to the shrews, and matchmakers to the duke’s brother’s sons. They lead all the lovers into a nearby forest, where, on a midsummer’s night, a bunch of mischievous fairies squeeze the aphroditic juice of a hermaphroditic flower in the shrews’ eyes, causing them to fall in love with the duke’s brother’s sons, while the ‘Queen’ of the fairies seduces a jackass, and they all have a lovely bisexual animalistic orgy.

Act Four! The elderly fathers of the Italian sisters, finding their daughters missing, dispatch messages to the pages, telling them to kill any man in the vicinity. However, unable to find men in the forest, the faithful messengers, in a final, misguided act of loyalty, deliver messages to each other and kill themselves. Meanwhile, the fish-creature and the duke arrive in the forest disguised as Russians, and for no apparent reason, perform a two-man underwater version of ‘Uncle Vanya’.

Act Five! The duke commands the fairies to right their wrongs. The pages and the bimbos get into a knock-down drag-out fight in the mud… during which the pages’ clothes get ripped off, revealing female genitalia! The duke recognizes his daughters! The duke’s brother’s sons recognize their uncle… One of the bimbos grows up to be Vanna White… and they all get married and go out to dinner.
Except for a minor character in the second act who gets eaten by a bear, and the duke’s brother’s sons who, unable to pay back the old Jew, give themselves lobotomies.

And they all live happily ever after.
Old 08-27-04, 08:00 PM
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Would you like me to break one of your legs? I hear that helps.
Old 08-27-04, 09:43 PM
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Originally posted by jw2299
Would you like me to break one of your legs? I hear that helps.
No, but you could wish for me to do it to myself...

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