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Poems for John Ritter

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Poems for John Ritter

Old 08-25-04, 12:00 PM
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Poems for John Ritter

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000615/board/flat/11020653

I was browsing IMDB and went to Problem Child 2 where apparently someone left a eulogy in the messageboards for Ritter in the form of a poem:

Here is a poem I'm dedicating to a wonderful actor who died too soon: John Ritter:

The news was broken to me gently,
Although how does one soften such a blow?
It still felt like I'd been punched in the gut,
I'm still whispering, "It just can't be so."

No, I never really knew the man,
Why does that seem to cause me MORE pain?
I assumed John would always be with us, I guess,
And now -- nothing can ever be the same.

I feel that I've lost more than I can express,
I've lost the opportunity to ever know.
A person so gentle and caring and kind,
He was everyone's friend; he loved everyone so.

He was a complex man, but it was easy to see,
That his needs weren't complex in the least.
He found joy in the love that surrounded us all,
His greatest wish, I believe, was for the world to find peace.

He gave us all peace in his kind, gentle way,
He spread love, he spread laughter, wherever he'd go.
It seemed his life had only begun in some ways,
To think that he's gone -- it just can't be so.

I can only imagine the depth of the pain,
That is shared by those closest to him.
I wish there were something profound I could say,
But I don't know how in the world I'd begin.

I want them to know that we miss him too,
We understand in a way, but not quite the same way, I know.
And just as he loves you, we love you as well,
May we somehow serve to remind you of that precious love; I do hope that will always be so.


This poem is dedicated to a man who made us laugh for so many years. A man who cared about people and would go out of his way to make someone around him happy. This poem is dedicated to John Ritter. A wonderful and talented actor who's life was cut so short. :-,(

We Miss You, John.

In Loving Memory of John Ritter:
September 17, 1948 - September 11, 2003
September 11th, huh? So that's what all the hoopla was about!

Then, I saw this joke poem under it

I do not speak in hyperbole
I just speak my mentality
An actor who was mediocre at best
I loved to see him in a dress

John Ritter was the kindest man
And he stayed regular with lots of bran
Heíd climb a mountain just for me
And was the star of three's company.

I nailed his corpse up in my room
And will resurrect him soon.
Blood of a virgin, eye of a nun
Satan, my lord, your time has begun

From the moment that I heard he died
Iíve been planning out my suicide.
For Ritter was a man of art
And through the tele, he touched our heart

I wasnít a fan when he was alive
But now that he's dead, he's full of jive
In sling blade he played Vaughan, a flit
But in reality he loved the clit.

Youíre death is like really sad
Itís like Iíve lost both of my dads
Youíve never done one wrong thing
And now youíre in heaven with Martin Luther King

There is so much talent, just in your arm
And like my doggie, you now live on a farm
With lots of room to run and play
Now you can make love to angels all day

Oh john you were so rich with lots of bling
It gives Scott Stapp a reason to sing
Your angel wings must be like 8 feet
And like that Chinese guy, you donít gain weight when you eat

You did the voice of Clifford the dog
And when Christmas comes along you give the homeless eggnog
Youíre articulate and totally hooked on phonics
I value you more than my Archie comics

Iíve heard that you said no to drugs
And always handed out lots of hugs
On the set of your show you died, this is true
Now I just wish the rest of the cast would die too
And the Osmonds

At night, I liked to touch his crack
But now that he's dead, he can't fight back
John I love you, and know you're in heaven
As always, remember 9/11
Old 08-25-04, 12:02 PM
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Come and knock on my door ...
Old 08-25-04, 12:08 PM
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The big loss that day was Johnny Cash.

John Ritter hadn't been funny for... well... he never was funny.

But to lose the Man in Black? Now that was a true tragedy. They're currently filming a movie here in Memphis about his life, called Walk the Line. Got Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon in it. I saw them filming across the river over at Mud Island a few weeks back. Looked like they were faking a concert, sort of thing.
Old 08-25-04, 12:13 PM
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I like Reese Witherspoon, but I don't think I'd buy her as Johnny Cash.
Old 08-25-04, 12:16 PM
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Originally posted by Otto
But to lose the Man in Black?
Tommy Lee Jones? Big tragedy. Will Smith? Not so much.
Old 08-25-04, 12:21 PM
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That last poem is
Old 08-25-04, 12:24 PM
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Originally posted by weargle
Come and knock on my door ...
I've been waiting on that.
Old 08-25-04, 12:32 PM
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I hope Joaquin doesn't cry in this one.
Old 08-25-04, 01:11 PM
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Re: Poems for John Ritter

My favorite stanza

Iíve heard that you said no to drugs
And always handed out lots of hugs
On the set of your show you died, this is true
Now I just wish the rest of the cast would die too
And the Osmonds
Old 08-25-04, 08:20 PM
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Youíre articulate and totally hooked on phonics
I value you more than my Archie comics


I, for one, was incredibly surprised at the deification of John Ritter when he passed. I expected it of Johnny Cash, but his death was brushed off as almost nothing.

And the cosmic joke continues...

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