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Why Men are Happier

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Why Men are Happier

Old 08-12-04, 04:03 PM
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Why Men are Happier

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be president.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character
Wedding dress $5000, Tux rental $100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood -- all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 45 minutes.
Old 08-12-04, 04:06 PM
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Old 08-12-04, 04:07 PM
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And women can STILL be happy taking care of all the shit that you guys won't do.
Old 08-12-04, 04:08 PM
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All that crap dissapears once a woman wields the power of the vagina.
Old 08-12-04, 04:09 PM
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No periods & therefore no PMS...thank God for that. But unfortunatley, we have to deal with the side effects.
Old 08-12-04, 04:12 PM
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The power of the vagina compels you.

Give in and we can rule the universe like Adam and Eve.


Noooo! Peaceful smile and jumps 500 feet into waiting gaping hole.
Old 08-12-04, 04:17 PM
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8.95 for three pairs of underwear?

I pay at least 25-30 for one pair.....

three pairs of shoes is more than enough??? ack! - um that is definitely not enough.

a five day vacation requires one suitcase? hmmm, no!


oh, I guess this isn't for gay men...

Last edited by rentonpunk; 08-12-04 at 04:24 PM.
Old 08-12-04, 04:21 PM
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Originally posted by Dabaomb
No periods & therefore no PMS...thank God for that. But unfortunatley, we have to deal with the side effects.
And no giving birth

lucked out there too
Old 08-12-04, 04:22 PM
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We can fart and eat at the same time.
Old 08-12-04, 05:05 PM
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What kind of underware are you buying for 25-30 for a single pair? Silk boxers?

Besides I pay 5.95 for 9 pairs of underware....
Old 08-12-04, 05:47 PM
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Originally posted by ANDREMIKE
Besides I pay 5.95 for 9 pairs of underware....
...and that thrift-store smell is a bonus, really.

- David Stein
Old 08-12-04, 05:49 PM
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Originally posted by rentonpunk
oh, I guess this isn't for gay men...
Well, I'm a bad gay man, so this list works OK for me...
Old 08-12-04, 05:53 PM
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Originally posted by sfsdfd
...and that thrift-store smell is a bonus, really.
Old 08-12-04, 06:10 PM
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Originally posted by ANDREMIKE
What kind of underware are you buying for 25-30 for a single pair? Silk boxers?

Besides I pay 5.95 for 9 pairs of underware....
What kind of underware are YOU buying that gets you 9 pairs for $6!

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