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Old fiancé question

Old 08-09-04, 09:56 AM
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Old fiancé question

I am 28, not married but in a serious relationship of 4 years. Today I found out that my former fiance is now married with twins. Don't get me wrong I love my girlfreind and I am happy to be with her. But it still hurts. Is that wrong ? I was just wondering if any of you experienced that and how you dealt with it.
Old 08-09-04, 10:00 AM
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Re: Old fiancé question

Originally posted by Steelers Fan
Today I found out that my former fiance is now married with twins. Is that wrong ?
Not only is it wrong, it's illegal. It's considered Bigamy.
Old 08-09-04, 10:02 AM
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There's nothing wrong with it at all. As far as dealing with it, just reflect on the good times you had with her









...and rub one out.
Old 08-09-04, 10:06 AM
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You should get your memories of her erased.

I know a firm in New York that does it. I can give you the number if you want. The receptionist is pretty hot. Her name is Mary Jane.
Old 08-09-04, 10:07 AM
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Originally posted by Turd Ferguson
...and rub one out.
If he "rubs out" one of the twins, that would solve the bigamy problem. But a murder charge can really haunt you later in life, believe you me!
Old 08-09-04, 10:09 AM
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Originally posted by Groucho
If he "rubs out" one of the twins, that would solve the bigamy problem. But a murder charge can really haunt you later in life, believe you me!
That's...............twisted
Old 08-09-04, 10:11 AM
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It's natural I think. Wheter it's old fiance's or old boyfriends/girlfriends I think it's common to have that pain in your heart when you hear how they are doing 'now' without you.

Of course you're still happy for them, but feel a little pain that you're not 'the one' they are with.

Just remember though, life is too short to have regrets and move on.
Old 08-09-04, 10:15 AM
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Originally posted by Bloomiesgirl
It's natural I think. Wheter it's old fiance's or old boyfriends/girlfriends I think it's common to have that pain in your heart when you hear how they are doing 'now' without you.

Of course you're still happy for them, but feel a little pain that you're not 'the one' they are with.

Just remember though, life is too short to have regrets and move on.
Old 08-09-04, 10:17 AM
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Originally posted by Bloomiesgirl
Of course you're still happy for them, but feel a little pain that you're not 'the one' they are with.

Just remember though, life is too short to have regrets and move on.
I'm not happy for her , she didn't even want to have kids when we discussed them. That's pretty much the main reason we are not toghether anymore. Unless she still didn't want them and now she has 2 then I am happy. Yeah, I'll think of it like that.
Old 08-09-04, 10:19 AM
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SHE HAS KIDS? Must be confusing with the twin husbands, since even DNA testing won't reveal who the father is. Unless they're fraternal.
Old 08-09-04, 10:23 AM
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Originally posted by Steelers Fan
I'm not happy for her , she didn't even want to have kids when we discussed them. That's pretty much the main reason we are not toghether anymore. Unless she still didn't want them and now she has 2 then I am happy. Yeah, I'll think of it like that.

Dude, that's how people are. You 2 were obviously not meant to be togehter and that's ok. Maybe she got knocked up by accident? Not your problem.

Then again maybe this guy brought out her maternal needs. That's ok too.

Love this new girl you're with and try to move on. I know how you feel because I tend to hold on to the past too. But it's not good in situations like this.


Good Luck.
Old 08-09-04, 10:30 AM
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We want what we can't have. If you had her now you'd probably want your girlfriend even though you wouldn't know your girlfriend and she'd be with some other guy. And they'd have twins and she'd be happy and that guy might not want her anymore and he'd see you and your original girlfriend with your kids and want to be you. Then he'll get depressed and want to have what he doesn't have and come murder you.

So I think it all worked out for the best.
Old 08-09-04, 10:45 AM
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Listen to Groucho. He's from a state that knows quite a bit about bigamy.
Old 08-09-04, 10:55 AM
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I think it is normal to always picture your ex exactly how he/she was when you broke up, so sometimes it feels weirds when you find out that they have moved on with their life. Even if you break up with them, it can feel weird!

The worst is when you break up with someone because they seem to lack ambition or can never follow through with anything and then you later find out that they accomplish something cool. It makes you feel like "Jeez, was I the one holding them back?"

I had an ex who could not finish his master's thesis and years later, I nearly fell out of my chair when I saw him quoted in ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY because he had written a pop culture book. That made me feel like a big failure. Like, if my lazy ex could do that, what have I accomplished?
Old 08-09-04, 11:04 AM
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Damn Jadzia, you are a failure.
Old 08-09-04, 11:15 AM
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It is normal.

If it didn't happen back then, there was probably a reason. "No Kids" is a BIG red flag. She probably changed as a person, but you probably have also.

Quite a few of my ex's have married, though only one stung, and that was the first one. We are very close friends, though when she first got married we drifted a bit. Our last break went pretty well and we kept up the friendship, so it was a bit different.

-pedagogue
Old 08-09-04, 11:26 AM
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Originally posted by pedagogue
It is normal.

If it didn't happen back then, there was probably a reason. "No Kids" is a BIG red flag. She probably changed as a person, but you probably have also.
I agree. Judging by your age of 28 and the fact that you've been in your current relationship for 4 years, I'm assuming she was in her early 20's when you were together. People's wants (in this case children) can change quite a bit as they get older.
Old 08-09-04, 11:30 AM
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Most people are crazy in their early to mid 20's. That is why I date 18-21 and 25-29.

-pedagogue
Old 08-09-04, 01:21 PM
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I was in the same boat as well. Lived with the girl that I thought was it for 6 years and then things just fell apart without questions answered. Years later she got her law degree and then married a doctor. It's been a sore spot for years, but I have learned to live with it and to this day think that I have made the right choice of moving on. It took me a few years, but I overcame the guilt, the regret and the sorrow.
Old 08-09-04, 01:21 PM
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I was in the same boat as well. Lived with the girl that I thought was it for 6 years and then things just fell apart without questions answered. Years later she got her law degree and then married a doctor. It's been a sore spot for years, but I have learned to live with it and to this day think that I have made the right choice of moving on. It took me a few years, but I overcame the guilt, the regret and the sorrow.
Old 08-09-04, 01:24 PM
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@ Groucho.
Old 08-09-04, 11:40 PM
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why can't you just be happy for your ex-fiance and his new wife?
Old 08-09-04, 11:49 PM
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Groucho, you are on a roll tonight.
Old 08-10-04, 12:06 AM
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It's normal, but you just have to remember that it wasn't meant to be, and move on.

Reminds me of a girl I dated for a little over 18 months in the early 90s, I really loved her but it just wasn't meant to be, plus I was probably taking the relationship for granted. She broke it up because her heart wasn't in the relationship even though her head said I was a great guy (per her) I was upset for a few months, but moved on and later married. I ran across a mutual friend a few years ago, my former girlfriend had met a guy soon after me and she was madly in love with him, then the guy dumped her. That made me feel better. Then I ran across the ex-girlfriend a year or so ago, she's still single, now 39, and rather plain looking and still introverted (read - her chance of finding a good guy now are virtually nil). I felt sorry for her at that point, but again, we just weren't meant to be together.

Last edited by Heat; 08-10-04 at 12:09 AM.
Old 08-10-04, 12:23 AM
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Re: Re: Old fiancé question

Originally posted by Groucho
Not only is it wrong, it's illegal. It's considered Bigamy.
They could always move down to Colorado City, and live with the FLDS. They don't care how many wives you have!

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