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Just how young is too young?

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Just how young is too young?

Old 08-08-04, 07:37 PM
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Just how young is too young?

Hello all, I am a longtime reader, first time poster to DVD Talk. Here's my story. I am a 36 year old man who will be 37 in December. I have been dating a 19 year old woman who won't turn 20 until Feb. 2005. At first I really didn't think anything would become of our dating because of our age difference but I was wrong. The more time that we spent together, the more we started to have very deep feelings for each other.

My question is this. Should I put an end to this relationship before it goes any further or should I just enjoy the heck out of a good thing? BTW, I have no pics so don't ask.
Old 08-08-04, 07:40 PM
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37/2=18.5+7=25.5
Old 08-08-04, 07:41 PM
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There's already a thread on this.

Your age gap could cause problems because I doubt she'll be as mature as you right now at 19... but if you feel compatible, what's stopping you?
Old 08-08-04, 07:46 PM
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She's legal, so I don't even see why this is a question. Age is not always an accurate indicator of maturity.
Old 08-08-04, 07:46 PM
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Like I said to Tarantino, if it clicks between you two, go for it!

I met my last GF when she was 20 and I was 32. We had a good 4 years together and age was never an issue. Don't think silly stuff like "Oh no, when I'll be 50 she'll only be 33!!

If you like each other, enjoy each other!!


PS: God I sound like a hippie!

Edit: Oh and welcome to the boards! (even if you don't have any pics...)
Old 08-08-04, 07:50 PM
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Well, I'm 36, and have recently been seeing a 20 year old woman. Before this, I had never dated a woman more than 4-5 years younger than me, and I never thought I would be the type to go after the really young woman. The chemistry is there, she's very intelligent and mature, and when I'm with her I don't notice the age difference. But, the difference is that I've already turned into the person I'm going to be, whereas she's still going through that. I don't think the problem is so much the number of years between us, but I would probably be more optimistic if I was 46 and she was 30. But really, love and romance is so crazy and indefineable , and happiness is so fleeting, I would say just be honest with each other and enjoy the time you have together.
Old 08-08-04, 07:55 PM
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Unless your this manipulative evil person I don't see a problem with this at all.

I stomp puppies in my spare time when not posting on DVD Talk Forum so maybe I don't deserve kindness and sweetness in my life. But most people should be good to go.

'Smoke 'em if you got 'em'. That's my moto.

On that mathematical formula.

Like Michael Stipe used to say about his gayness and I'm paraphrasing this:

Math is for cans.
Old 08-08-04, 08:17 PM
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Originally posted by Debaser
I stomp puppies in my spare time when not posting on DVD Talk Forum
I'm not sure which sounds more evil
Old 08-08-04, 08:30 PM
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Roto,

I know. Sometimes I like to kneel down in my backyard and flog myself with a tree branch.

Redemption is hard to come by these days.
Old 08-08-04, 08:31 PM
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Re: Just how young is too young?

Originally posted by Sonny Corinthos
Hello all, I am a longtime reader, first time poster to DVD Talk. Here's my story. I am a 36 year old man who will be 37 in December. I have been dating a 19 year old woman who won't turn 20 until Feb. 2005. At first I really didn't think anything would become of our dating because of our age difference but I was wrong. The more time that we spent together, the more we started to have very deep feelings for each other.

My question is this. Should I put an end to this relationship before it goes any further or should I just enjoy the heck out of a good thing? BTW, I have no pics so don't ask.
I agree with what everyone else has said -- as long as you and she are on the same page in terms of what you're looking for in the relationship, go for it. In every relationship, there are things that are similar between the people and things that are different. One of your differences is age. If the similarities outweigh that and make it a relationship worth pursuing, then it's a better relationship than pursuing a 37-year-old vegan hippy who hates violent movies (assuming you're a meat-eating Republican who loves Sam Peckinpah. If not, fill in your own opposites -- I'm sure you get what I mean).

As for your last point, I recommend you check out this link.
Old 08-08-04, 08:35 PM
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Originally posted by Ky-Fi
Well, I'm 36, and have recently been seeing a 20 year old woman. Before this, I had never dated a woman more than 4-5 years younger than me, and I never thought I would be the type to go after the really young woman. The chemistry is there, she's very intelligent and mature, and when I'm with her I don't notice the age difference. But, the difference is that I've already turned into the person I'm going to be, whereas she's still going through that. I don't think the problem is so much the number of years between us, but I would probably be more optimistic if I was 46 and she was 30. But really, love and romance is so crazy and indefineable , and happiness is so fleeting, I would say just be honest with each other and enjoy the time you have together.
Not to sound like a Successories poster, but you never stop turning into the person you're going to be. Ky-Fi at age 50 will probably think Ky-Fi at age 36 is as much of an immature tool as Ky-Fi at age 36 thinks Ky-Fi at age 20 was. If you follow.

Besides, the ways in which you change as you age are influenced by who you have relationships with. I'm not the same man I was when I met my wife, but because we've grown and changed together, we've grown closer.

Jesus. Now I really do sound like a Successories poster.
Old 08-08-04, 08:44 PM
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Originally posted by Ky-Fi
Well, I'm 36, and have recently been seeing a 20 year old woman. Before this, I had never dated a woman more than 4-5 years younger than me, and I never thought I would be the type to go after the really young woman. The chemistry is there, she's very intelligent and mature, and when I'm with her I don't notice the age difference. But, the difference is that I've already turned into the person I'm going to be, whereas she's still going through that. I don't think the problem is so much the number of years between us, but I would probably be more optimistic if I was 46 and she was 30. But really, love and romance is so crazy and indefineable , and happiness is so fleeting, I would say just be honest with each other and enjoy the time you have together.
You make a great point. This is one of the things that have me worried. A person changes a lot between 19 and 25 years old. What she wants now may not be what she wants in 5-10 years. Being much older, I already know what I want in life. I guess nothing in this life is a sure thing huh?
Old 08-08-04, 08:47 PM
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I say hit it and don't get too emotionally involved because she's eventually going to meet someone her own age and cheat on you with him anyway.
Old 08-08-04, 09:51 PM
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How the hell can you put up with a 19 year old?
Old 08-08-04, 09:55 PM
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Thats what I'm thinking. I'm 24 and I can hardly put up with girls my age.
Old 08-08-04, 10:00 PM
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As long as she's legal...go for it!
Old 08-08-04, 10:00 PM
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19 is too old. Most girls are already washed up by then, so you need a 16 yr. old. This way you can eventually go to jail, and become somebody's love slave. <a href='http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008' target='_blank'><img src='http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_4_119.gif' border=0></a>
Old 08-08-04, 10:02 PM
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If you two have something going, I say go for it.
Old 08-08-04, 10:18 PM
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Originally posted by JasonF
Not to sound like a Successories poster, but you never stop turning into the person you're going to be. Ky-Fi at age 50 will probably think Ky-Fi at age 36 is as much of an immature tool as Ky-Fi at age 36 thinks Ky-Fi at age 20 was. If you follow.

Besides, the ways in which you change as you age are influenced by who you have relationships with. I'm not the same man I was when I met my wife, but because we've grown and changed together, we've grown closer.

Jesus. Now I really do sound like a Successories poster.
You make a very good point, and to some extent I agree. But, I've read in numerous places that men don't really mature until 26/27, and women at 24/25, as far as major emotional and personality development---and I do think there is some validity to that. While I do agree that we're all constanstly growing and (hopefully) maturing, my life 10 years ago was not that drastically different from my life now---whereas 10 years ago she was......10 .

Sonny, I can certainly empathize, and I don't have the answers. I just know I had some good friends advise me to just enjoy it for what it is, and even if it doesn't work out, maybe it could be a healthy bridge relationship for both of you. But yes, it is crazy when you get very strong feelings even though you know the situation isn't too logical. But I guess nothing in life is certain anyways, so don't ruin the positives by dwelling on the negatives. Easier said than done, though .
Old 08-08-04, 10:50 PM
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Sonny, aren't you already married to Carly and banging Sam on the side? Isnt that enough? lol
Old 08-09-04, 12:12 AM
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Originally posted by Deadman31
Sonny, aren't you already married to Carly and banging Sam on the side? Isnt that enough? lol

you read my mind


I think you are young enough...GH
Old 08-09-04, 12:38 AM
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They're never young enough.

With my girlfriend, we starting dating when she was 17 and I was 21. Age never came up, mostly because she's much more mature than me.

She's dead now.

I've learned my lesson and won't touch anything over 14.

The end.
Old 08-09-04, 01:22 AM
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Enjoy it while it lasts.

And be sure your GF gets her homework done and is in the house by 10pm. 12 midnight on the weekends.

Last edited by DVD Polizei; 08-09-04 at 01:27 AM.
Old 08-09-04, 01:32 AM
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I agree with those who've said that it's the person (and the maturity level) that counts, not the age. Yeah, she's young, but I would never say she's flat-out say "too young" based on the ages (both of you are legal adults).
Old 08-09-04, 02:02 AM
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Originally posted by Lara Means
How the hell can you put up with a 19 year old?

no shit. I dated an 18 year old a couple of times and couldn't stand the amount of immaturity involved and I'm only 24. I don't see how you can deal with a 19 year old.

but for all account.. is it too young? No. she is legal and if you dig it.. then knock yourself out.

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