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president outsourced

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president outsourced

Old 08-07-04, 12:32 PM
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president outsourced

From an email i received today....think it's the Motley Fool....just thought it might add a little levity to the political climate in otterville



Congress today announced that the Office of President of the United States will be outsourced to overseas interests as of June 30th, the end of this fiscal year. The move is being made to save $400K a year in salary, a record $521 Billion in deficit expenditures and related overhead. "The cost savings will be quite significant" says Congressman Adam Smith (D- Wash), who, with the aid of the GAO (the General Accounting Office) has studied outsourcing of American jobs extensively. "We simply can no longer afford this level of outlay and remain competitive in the world stage," Congressman Smith said.

Mr. Bush was informed by e-mail this morning of the termination of his position. He will receive health coverage, expenses and salary until his final day of employment. After that, with a two week waiting period, he will then be eligible for $240 a week from unemployment insurance for 13 weeks. Unfortunately, he will not be able to receive state Medicaid health insurance coverage as his unemployment benefits are over the required limit.

Preparations have been underway for some time for the job move. Sanji Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India, will be assuming the Office of President of the United States as of July 1. Mr. Singh was born in the United States while his parents were here on student visas, thus making him eligible for the position. He will receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month but with no health coverage or other benefits. Due to the time difference between the U.S. and India, Mr. Singh will be working primarily at night when offices of the U.S. Government will be open.

"I am excited to serve in this position," Mr. Singh stated in an exclusive interview. "Working nights will let me keep my day job at the American Express call center. I always knew I could be President someday."

Congress stressed patience when calling Mr. Singh as he may not be fully aware of all the issues involved with his new position. A Congressional Spokesperson noted that Mr. Singh has been given a script tree to follow which will allow him to respond to most topics of concern. The Spokesperson further noted that "additional savings will be realized as these scripting tools have been successfully used by Mr. Bush and will enable Mr. Singh to provide an answer without having to fully understand the issue itself."

Mr. Bush has been offered the use of a Congressional Page to help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job transition. According to Manpower, Inc., the placement firm, Mr. Bush may have difficulties in securing a new position as job prospects in the Sports Franchise Ownership arena remain limited. A recently released report from the Pentagon suggests a good prospect for him as a newly unemployed person may be in the Army National Guard. There he would be called up with his unit and stationed in Iraq, a country he has visited briefly before. "I've been there, I know all about Iraq and the conditions there," stated Mr. Bush. He gained invaluable knowledge of the country in his first visit at the Baghdad Airport non-smoking terminal and gift shop.

Meanwhile in Baghdad and Falluja, Iraq, sources report that local Iraqis say Mr. Bush would receive an especially warm reception from them. Such sources stated the Iraqis only request would be to be informed of which convoy he would be riding in order to give him the welcome he deserves.

Congress continues to explore other outsourcing possibilities including that of Vice-president and most Cabinet positions.
Old 08-07-04, 01:18 PM
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.just thought it might add a little levity to the political climate in otterville
Ah.. yeah, right I guess it all depends upon which side you are on as to whether or not you find it humorous...
Old 08-07-04, 01:50 PM
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I thought it was funny.

Maybe we should outsource all government functions? They might work better than they do now.
Old 08-07-04, 02:39 PM
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In a hyberpolic sort of way I can see it being amusing. Given the gross simplification of the issues I can also see where people would not find it very amusing though (esp. the last couple of paragraphs) considering how divided people are over political issues these days . In that sense I don't believe this will bring any "levity to the political climate" but that's JMO.


BTW I don't think it merits any sanction though so these comments are not being made w/ my "mod hat" on, just as another user...

Last edited by nemein; 08-07-04 at 02:42 PM.
Old 08-07-04, 04:59 PM
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It was fairly amusing. Obviously, we shouldn't just look at outsourcing in the executive branch, we need to take a look at Congress, too.
Old 08-07-04, 06:39 PM
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Amusing.

-pedagogue
Old 08-07-04, 07:08 PM
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I laughed. And hoped.
Old 08-07-04, 09:17 PM
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I thought it was funny, too.
Old 08-07-04, 09:31 PM
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Another vote for amusing.
Old 08-07-04, 09:42 PM
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so, the lesson of this thread is: nemein is humorless!!! I knew it!!!!!!

and to address his point...i think it is precisely that some on the right are incapable of laughing at stuff like this is why we have so much polarity - and that goes for both sides....i've got no qualms laughing at Kerry either....it's good for all of us.
Old 08-07-04, 09:43 PM
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Laugh at Kerry?!?!?! You bastard!!!!!

Old 08-07-04, 09:50 PM
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so, the lesson of this thread is: nemein is humorless!!! I knew it!!!!!!
Potentially, it's also been a pretty long week at work so I just might not be of good humor all around right now I have no problems laughing at myself, when it is warranted. I just didn't find this very funny, again esp w/ the way it ended and the whole "in order to give him the welcome he deserves" bit Each to their own though, unless of course you disagree w/ the left in which case you are just wrong
Old 08-07-04, 11:40 PM
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Awe, nemein needs a hug. Poor guy.

Great joke/story, brizz. I laughed, I cried, I found my inner child.
Old 08-08-04, 10:14 AM
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Originally posted by VinVega
Awe, nemein needs a hug. Poor guy.
Not really, and esp not from anyone around here

For whatever reason the story just didn't strike a humorous chord w/ me. I can see where people would find it amusing, I didn't it. Unlike some around here I guess I recognize that different people have different senses of humor. Far be it from me to accuse people of being "humourless" or not being able to laugh at themselves if they don't find every little joke funny. There are plenty of funny things regarding this admin out there to laugh at, this IMHO isn't one of them. Each to their own though...
Old 08-08-04, 12:16 PM
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Let's outsource the Supreme Court as well. I wouldn't mind getting rid of a few judges...

Ruth Bader Ginsberg, I'm looking at you.
Old 08-08-04, 12:35 PM
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Originally posted by Goldblum
Let's outsource the Supreme Court as well. I wouldn't mind getting rid of a few judges...

Clarence Thomas, I'm looking at you.
I hear ya man....

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