Go Back  DVD Talk Forum > Entertainment Discussions > Music Talk
Reload this Page >

Blender's 40 WORST Lyricists EVER

Music Talk Discuss music in all its forms: CD, MP3, DVD-A, SACD and of course live

Blender's 40 WORST Lyricists EVER

Old 10-13-07, 12:22 AM
  #1  
DVD Talk Platinum Edition
Thread Starter
 
DaveWadding's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 3,910
Received 2 Likes on 2 Posts
Blender's 40 WORST Lyricists EVER

http://www.blender.com/guide/articles.aspx?ID=2882
Old 10-13-07, 01:43 AM
  #2  
DVD Talk Special Edition
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Berkeley, CA
Posts: 1,981
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
I never understood the point of making a list of the worst of anything.
Old 10-13-07, 03:16 AM
  #3  
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Houston
Posts: 160
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Can't believe they didn't include Gavin Rossdale the singer for Bush. Seriously I like the band but their lyrics have never made sense to me.

Example
From Glycerin :

I'm never alone
I'm alone all the time
are you at one
or do you lie
we live in a wheel
where everyone steals
but when we rise it's like strawberry fields

And Machine Head :

Got a machinehead better than the rest
Green to red machinehead
Got a machinehead better than the rest
Green to red yeah
And I walk from my machine
I walk from my machine

Pretty much every Bush song has random lyrics just like these two ..good music ...just none of it make any sense.
Old 10-13-07, 05:23 AM
  #4  
DVD Talk Platinum Edition
 
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 3,071
Likes: 0
Received 1 Like on 1 Post
For those wanting to see the list and miss Blender's (slightly humorous) rationale:

1) Sting (solo, The Police)
2) Neil Peart (Rush)
3) Scott Stapp (Creed)
4) Noel Gallagher (Oasis)
5) Dan Fogelberg
6) Tom Marshall (Phish friend [ not member ])
7) Paul Stanley (KISS)
8) Diane Warren ("I Don't Want to Miss a Thing", "How Can We Be Lovers?", "Have You Ever?")
9) Donovan
10) Jim Morrison (The Doors)

11) Larry Henley and Jeff Silbar ("Wind Beneath My Wings")
12) David Crosby (sometimes of Crosby, Stills & Nash [ & Young ])
13) Pete Gabriel, Mike Rutherford, Tony Banks, Steve Hackett and Phil Collins (aka Genesis, but also including their respective solo projects)
14) will.i.am (Black Eyed Peas)
15) Bernie Taupin (lyricist for Elton John and... "We Built This City")
16) Ben Gibbard (Death Cab for Cutie)
17) Jon Anderson (Yes)
18) Ian Anderson (Jethro Tull)
19) Queensr˙che
20) Ryan Ross (Panic! At the Disco)

21) Alanis Morissette
22) Jon Bon Jovi
23) Robert Plant (Led Zeppelin)
24) Fred Durst (Limp Bizkit)
25) KRS-One
26) Simon Le Bon (Duran Duran)
27) Will Jennings (lyricist, "My Heart Will Go On", "Up Where We Belong", "Tears in Heaven", etc.)
28) Greg Graffin (Bad Religion)
29) Timbaland
30) Kevin Federline (aka K-Fed)

31) Carly Simon
32) Matisyahu
33) Diddy (aka P. Diddy aka Puffy aka Puff Daddy)
34) Henry Rollins (Black Flag, Rollins Band)
35) Dashboard Confessional
36) Common
37) Bryan Adams
38) Paul McCartney (The Beatles, solo)
39) Billy Corgan (Smashing Pumpkins, Zwan, solo)
40) Anthony Kiedis (Red Hot Chili Peppers)
Old 10-13-07, 08:43 AM
  #5  
DVD Talk Legend
 
Join Date: Sep 1999
Posts: 11,862
Likes: 0
Received 1 Like on 1 Post
That list is total bullshit. We need to start a list of magazines with the worst lists...
Old 10-13-07, 09:21 AM
  #6  
DVD Talk Hall of Fame
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Chicago
Posts: 8,158
Likes: 0
Received 1 Like on 1 Post
Awful list. Although Anthony Kiedis and Billy Corgan are good selections and should probably be 1-2. Kiedis' lyrics are almost unbelievably bad.
Old 10-13-07, 10:46 AM
  #7  
Moderator
 
wendersfan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: America!
Posts: 33,887
Received 155 Likes on 112 Posts
No Jewel?
Old 10-13-07, 10:59 AM
  #8  
DVD Talk Hall of Fame
 
Lateralus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Valley of Megiddo
Posts: 9,569
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Peart opuses like “Cygnus X-1” are richly awful tapestries of fantasy and science fiction, steeped in an eighth-grade understanding of Western philosophy. 2112, Rush’s 1976 concept album based on individualist thinker Ayn Rand’s novella Anthem, remains an awe-inspiring low point in the sordid relationship between rock and ideas. Worst lyric: “I stand atop a spiral stair/An oracle confronts me there/He leads me on light years away/Through astral nights, galactic days” (“Oracle: The Dream”)

Wow Neil has not wrote a fantasy or science fiction song since Hemispheres which was released in 1977ish! Well maybe Grace Under Pressure in 1984 but that is stretching it. Clearly they did not do research as they are basing Neil's entire career on an album made 30 years ago.

It looks like the list is about groups that were around for a long time, where are the lyrical gems like "Holla back girl" and "Hey Ya!"?

Last edited by Lateralus; 10-13-07 at 11:06 AM.
Old 10-13-07, 01:11 PM
  #9  
DVD Talk Limited Edition
 
UAIOE's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: LV-426
Posts: 6,598
Likes: 0
Received 2 Likes on 2 Posts
Originally Posted by Y2J850
And Machine Head :

Got a machinehead better than the rest
Green to red machinehead
Got a machinehead better than the rest
Green to red yeah
And I walk from my machine
I walk from my machine

"I walk from my machine" I swear it always sounds like he's saying "I'm washing my machine" which doesn't make any sense either.

What the hell is this song about anyway? I just remember some dorkass radio DJ saying it was about Darth Vader simply because of the lyric "green to red" (lightsabers).
Old 10-13-07, 02:51 PM
  #10  
DVD Talk Gold Edition
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: NY
Posts: 2,085
Received 11 Likes on 8 Posts
Maybe machinehead = a mind for machines

Maybe green to red = going from full throttle to a stop

Maybe walk from my machine = surviving a sudden stop

maybe it's random BS
Old 10-13-07, 08:53 PM
  #11  
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 716
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
lol, what a gay list. some i can agree with but they havnt rounded up nearly the worst
Old 10-14-07, 01:02 AM
  #12  
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The member formerly known as crazypetedotcom
Posts: 850
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Originally Posted by parrotheads4
Maybe machinehead = a mind for machines

Maybe green to red = going from full throttle to a stop

Maybe walk from my machine = surviving a sudden stop

maybe it's random BS
Machinehead is some sort of guitar term for the string tuning keys isn't it?

Anyway I agree a lot of that list is pretty weak. Plus they misquoted a song, in their Noel Gallagher slam for "Walking slowly down the hall, faster than a cannonball," they attributed that to Live Forever, when really it's Champagne Supernova. Lazy bastards.
Old 10-14-07, 01:32 AM
  #13  
Premium Member
 
The Cow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: Grazing in a field somewhere...
Posts: 21,985
Received 204 Likes on 147 Posts
That list isn't even trying...

I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I'd love you to love me.
I'll shine up the old brown shoes, put on a brand-new shirt.
I'll get home early from work if you say that you love me.
Old 10-14-07, 07:58 AM
  #14  
DVD Talk Special Edition
 
Join Date: Nov 1999
Location: Waterford, MI
Posts: 1,231
Likes: 0
Received 3 Likes on 3 Posts
Are they basing this list on one or two bad songs or an entire career of bad songs. Ian Anderson? Carly Simon? Bernie Taupin? Queensryche? Sure every lyricist has a bad song or a string of bad songs, but they all have some incredibly great lyrical moments and don't deserve to be anywhere near a worst lyricists list.

Unbelievable.

Michael
Old 10-14-07, 10:23 AM
  #15  
DVD Talk Legend
 
astrochimp's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 17,803
Likes: 0
Received 1 Like on 1 Post
No one who came up with....

"Sprawling on the fringes of the city
In geometric order
An insulated border
In between the bright lights
And the far unlit unknown.

Growing up it all seems so one-sided
Opinions all provided
The future pre-decided
Detached and subdivided
In the mass production zone
Nowhere is the dreamer or the misfit so alone."

....deserves to be on the list.
Old 10-14-07, 10:35 AM
  #16  
DVD Talk Hero
 
Nick Danger's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Albuquerque
Posts: 26,423
Received 503 Likes on 334 Posts
It reads like the result of a dare. I think they came up with names at random by opening their Penguin Dictionary of Pop Music with their eyes closed. Then the challenge was to justify the choice.

Blender editor: "I got Woody Guthrie! Ouch! Well, the only song I've heard of is This Land is Your Land, so I'll make fun of those lyrics."
Old 10-14-07, 10:47 AM
  #17  
DVD Talk Hall of Fame
 
Lateralus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Valley of Megiddo
Posts: 9,569
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Funny, nobody seems to disagree that Scott Stapp is #3. Only thing I would disagree with is that he is to far down on the list and should be ranked higher.
Old 10-14-07, 11:43 AM
  #18  
DVD Talk Platinum Edition
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Posts: 3,193
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
They're missing a bunch of artists on that list:

John Lennon. "Number 9. Number 9. Number 9. Number 9. Number 9. Number 9."

Bob Dylan. "The pump don't work because the vandals took the handles"

Lou Reed. "And the colored girls go doo do doo do doo do do doo"

Van Morrison. "And it stoned me to my soul, stoned me just like Jelly Roll"

Plant/Page. "If there's a bustle in your hedgerow don't be alarmed now"

Joni Mitchell. "They pave paradise and put up a parking lot"

I mean, come on now. Am I right?
Old 10-14-07, 02:12 PM
  #19  
DVD Talk Platinum Edition
Thread Starter
 
DaveWadding's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 3,910
Received 2 Likes on 2 Posts
They forgot another one too.

Bye, bye miss american pie
drove my Chevy to the levy
but the levy was dry
and those good ol boys were drinkin whiskey and rye
sayin "this'll be the day that I die"
Old 10-14-07, 02:15 PM
  #20  
DVD Talk Limited Edition
 
UAIOE's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: LV-426
Posts: 6,598
Likes: 0
Received 2 Likes on 2 Posts
Originally Posted by Lateralus
Funny, nobody seems to disagree that Scott Stapp is #3. Only thing I would disagree with is that he is to far down on the list and should be ranked higher.

I too think putting him at #3 was being far too generous.
Old 10-14-07, 02:33 PM
  #21  
DVD Talk Godfather
 
Michael Corvin's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 1999
Location: Louisville, KY
Posts: 61,190
Received 457 Likes on 326 Posts
Originally Posted by fiver
Are they basing this list on one or two bad songs or an entire career of bad songs. Ian Anderson? Carly Simon? Bernie Taupin? Queensryche? Sure every lyricist has a bad song or a string of bad songs, but they all have some incredibly great lyrical moments and don't deserve to be anywhere near a worst lyricists list.

Unbelievable.

Michael
Agreed. It appears to be off a couple of songs. Queensryche is the only one I take issue with because the specifically cite Mindcrime which is a phenominal album. One of the best albums of the past 25 years.
Old 10-14-07, 02:44 PM
  #22  
TGM
DVD Talk Legend
 
TGM's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 16,282
Received 141 Likes on 91 Posts
No "Train"?

for this song alone they should burn in musical hell for all eternity.

Now that shes back in the atmosphere
With drops of Jupiter in her hair, hey, hey
She acts like summer and walks like rain
Reminds me that theres time to change, hey, hey
Since the return from her stay on the moon
She listens like spring and she talks like June, hey, hey

Tell me did you sail across the sun
Did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded
And that heaven is overrated

Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star
One without a permanent scar
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there

Now that shes back from that soul vacation
Tracing her way through the constellation, hey, hey
She checks out Mozart while she does Tae-Bo
Reminds me that theres room to grow, hey, hey

Now that shes back in the atmosphere
I'm afraid that she might think of me as plain 'ol Jane
Told a story about a man who is too afraid to fly so he never did land

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back to the milky way
And tell me, did Venus blow your mind
Was it everything you wanted to find
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there

Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you even when I know you're wrong
Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance five-hour phone
Conversation
The best soy latte that you ever had . . . and me

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back toward the milky way

Tell me did you sail across the sun
Did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded
And that heaven is overrated

Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star
One without a permanent scar
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there
Old 10-14-07, 02:52 PM
  #23  
DVD Talk Gold Edition
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,556
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Common?! Please. He's a little too smarmy these days, but no way does he even make a list of the worst hip-hop lyricists.
Old 10-14-07, 03:12 PM
  #24  
DVD Talk Gold Edition
 
Drop's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Edison, NJ
Posts: 2,039
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
I'm surprised Trent Reznor isn't on this list. I love NIN, but his lyrics are very juvenile.

A fairly silly list, I don't think non-sensical ideas and abstraction really make lyrics bad. Not everything needs to have a message or tell a story. It's when an artist tries to pass them off as serious statements and fails hard that they become bad. Stapp is a great example of poor lyrics.

I wouldn't include Keides on there for that reasoning. A lot of his lyrics, especially the earlier stuff, is just for fun. I think that Californication line is fine. I mean they could've chosen the line "Ticky ticky tackita tic tac toe" from the song Warlocks if they were really wanted to show how silly he can be at times. But then I think the song Hard to Concentrate, on the same album shows real growth for him. Above all I find the sounds of the words fit in with the rest of the music.

Anyway, lists are just made for attention and to get people to talk. No big deal.
Old 10-14-07, 10:42 PM
  #25  
DVD Talk Limited Edition
 
dhmac's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Kissimmee, Florida
Posts: 7,329
Received 44 Likes on 41 Posts
At least one of the people who wrote this seems to absolutely hate fantasy literature and thinks that any lyrics with allusions to something - anything - within fantasy are automatically bad. (Makes me think J.R.R. Tolkien once screwed over one of these writer's grandma-ma back in Merry Ole England and the writer still holds a grudge.)

Thread Tools
Search this Thread

Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Do Not Sell My Personal Information -

Copyright © 2021 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.