Troy Stiffler

I hate to say it ... this movie was a bore. As quick as it starts, it's over. There's no exposition around the sci-fi tech. I didn't realize I was watching the climax until after it ended.

It wasn't a chore to watch. But there wasn't a single moment in it to rally around. Mcconaughey doesn't get to do anything interesting. Elba and the kid did alright with what they had.

I also think they were limited by the budget. Nothing was really fascinating to see.

Too bad. Ten years of up and down production. And this is what we got. Still looking forward to the show.

Dr. Mantle

Why is everyone so eager to piss on this movie? I thought it was pretty damn good. I didn't love it, but the performances were solid (if a bit shallow), and the story had a decent flow (if a bit rushed).

I think the best comparison is the Hannibal TV show. This isn't a straight adaptation of the novels. They're gonna use the characters and the atmosphere and a blend of various plot threads. Were you expecting 4000 pages of story to fit perfectly into a feature length film? Would anyone argue that The Gunslinger (as a straight adaptation) would work as a movie?

I started the Dark Tower books last year. Almost done with Wolves of the Calla. I'm enjoying them, but they're hardly great literature. I'm good with a looser adaptation.

Get off your fuckin' high horse (for your father's sake) and have a good time at an entertaining movie.

Troy Stiffler

I'm not eager to piss on it.

I think it's there with movies like Aeon Flux, Jonah Hex, Battlefield Earth, Ultraviolet, Beowulf, Final Fantasy, on and on. It's sci-fi fantasy that isn't able to connect with an audience. There's always going to be some people who can enjoy certain movies.

None of those movies were unwatchable. They just lack the emotional connection that brings forth those really special moments when you 'fall in love' with a movie. You achieve that, and sprinkle at least a few special moments around any movie, and you have me hooked. With this movie, I felt nothing.

But glad you enjoyed it! Knowing that someone out there enjoyed it, and we might be getting a much better TV show makes me happier than the movie itself.

devilshalo

I have never read the books. I found that I was dropped into this conflict near the end and watched a 20 minute wrap up where I didn't get to know what or why, so I never felt the weight of anything for it to matter what happens. It's like I was watching Matrix Revolutions without ever seeing Matrix and Matrix Reloaded.

Dan

Saw this last night. I thought it was... mostly ok.
Not good, but not terrible.

I had only read 3 of the books, and barely remember the specifics, but not a whole lot felt familiar here anyway. I liked Roland and Jake here (and Jake's mom...) but Walter... oof. I love MM, but feel like he was the wrong choice for that role.

Anyway... I'm just saying... it could have been worse, but wasn't exactly good... and it should have been a whole lot better. There were some genuinely funny bits with Roland in modern day NYC that I liked.

I'd give it a 2.5 or 3 out of 5.

The Antipodean

Finally saw 'The Dark Tower.' Could've been a great cheesy '80s Cannon Studios-style epic with Marc Singer and Louis Gossett Jr. Instead we got a plodding yet rushed muddle of a movie. Just dull and inessential in every way.

james2025a

After all the time this has been floating around Hollywood it deserved better than this. Just an average movie from start to finish. Only good thing is its short.. Shame we will probably now never see a decent version of this story. Should have gone the HBO or Netflix route.

Brack

Blind bought for like $8 or $9 off iTunes movies in 4K Dolby Vision. Very clumsy and rushed. Felt like it had a lot of the same problems as Jumper some years back, or a movie like I Am Number Four, where I didn’t exactly understand or frankly care enough what happened to anyone since the movie didn’t either. Gave it 3 out of 5 because I liked Elaba and the kid’s performances. The rest was just a mess.

cruzness

Dark Tower has forgotten the face of its father. Idris Elba is great because he is Idris Elba and he is always great. The kid who plays Jake is good. Mconahey chews scenery and is having fun but is poorly written. And that is a major problem-this is poorly adapted. The best part is how much of a badass Gunslingers are. Oh look, It's another franchise that Sony has no idea how to handle. It comes off as really mediocre. Not Good. Not bad. Just meh.

Brack

^^^^ My thoughts exactly, just written better, and McConaughey does what he can with very little.

Troy Stiffler

Those are good comparisons. This is one of those very-rushed where you're thrown into the world and you don't really connect any feelings to what's happening. Very few brisk, rushed movies ever work.

mndtrp

I finally watched this the past weekend, and agree with the last several posts. Such a missed opportunity, even though what was there was technically fine.

Rob V

Caught this while bed resting with the flu... the flu was better. I invested 3 years into the books and thought this movie couldn't possibly be that bad. I was wrong.

One small gripe... Jake drinks from Roland's water bottle when he comes to middle-earth and later when Roland is at the hospital, we find out he has Hep A, Hep C and nuclear poisoning. Since Hepatitis A is easily transmitted via contact, guess who also has Hep A now? Fucking stupid writing!!!

Ok, one more gripe... Jake sees his mom as a fucking dust bunny on the floor, vaporized into ashes. Roland says "welp, there's nothing for you here, let's go to middle-earth".
I gotta believe Elba never read the script. I think his agent told him how epic and promising the content was and had him sign the contract sight unseen.

Michael Corvin

"Middle Earth?" Really? That should be Mid-World.

jpcamb

truly nothing matters as far as cannon goes with these books in regards to this movie, so really, who cares if its mid world or middle earth?

I've been a tower junkie since the mid-80s when I read the first book and read these as they came out over time. The only thing worse than waiting years for these books to come out was the time I spent watching this abortion.

Rob V

Good feedback.

Why So Blu?

Checked this out from the library. Yeah, it was awful. I don't know what the hell happened, but wasted talent all around.

Michael Corvin

um, okay?

TomOpus

Checked it out from the library, too. It was pretty bad. This is coming from someone who never read any of the book series.

melasnus

I find this thread very funny.
The overriding number of posts in here are negative.
Oddly, the poll shows the majority of voters gave it at least a "fair" rating.
Talk about going along with the crowd...

I watched last night and enjoyed it.
The video quality of the BD is excellent.

TomOpus

Many times members will either just post an opinion OR just vote. That's probably why there can be a disparity.

Abob Teff

Or there is the fact that a rating scale is not objective — my “3” is not the same as somebody else’s “3” when actually discussing a film. One may consider a 3/5 as middle of the road while another considers that 60% and failing.

melasnus

I don't understand why someone would go to the trouble of posting and not be bothered with making a single click.
Talk about laziness...SHEESH!
You're right...Americans are a mathematically-challenged bunch.

Why So Blu?

This was a horrid movie and I love Matt and Idris.

TomOpus

Yeah, I've seen people give glowing reviews but give a 3.5 in the poll.