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Biggest Kick in the Nuts Movie You've Ever Seen

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Biggest Kick in the Nuts Movie You've Ever Seen

Old 03-08-13, 08:34 PM
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Biggest Kick in the Nuts Movie You've Ever Seen

By this, I mean in terms of expectations and what you actually got in return for your support and enthusiasm for the movie and/or its filmmakers. The inspiration for the thread title was Clark Griswold's rant in Christmas Vacation.


For me: Godzilla 1998. I loved those movies as a kid, and to see it done the way they did was horrific.

I would say Phantom Menace, but in all honesty, it didn't become such until about a year or so after I emerged from my state of denial.
Old 03-08-13, 08:48 PM
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Re: Biggest Kick in the Nuts Movie You've Ever Seen

Constantine since I'm a fan of Hellblazer. I'll also say Ghost Rider, Cage was just entirely too old it should have been someone in his 20s. Hell I could even of saw Bradley Cooper bringing flamboyance and flash to Johnny Blaze.
Old 03-08-13, 08:49 PM
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Re: Biggest Kick in the Nuts Movie You've Ever Seen

Phantom Menace.
Old 03-08-13, 08:51 PM
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Re: Biggest Kick in the Nuts Movie You've Ever Seen

double fucking post.
Old 03-08-13, 08:55 PM
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Re: Biggest Kick in the Nuts Movie You've Ever Seen

Green Lantern Abominable!
Old 03-08-13, 08:58 PM
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Re: Biggest Kick in the Nuts Movie You've Ever Seen

Actually I have never left the theater more disappointed than I was after sitting through what felt like 16 hours of Peter Jackson's King Kong. Even if I had literally been kicked in the nuts by the film they would have been numb from sitting there for so fucking long.
Old 03-08-13, 08:58 PM
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Re: Biggest Kick in the Nuts Movie You've Ever Seen

I read Less Than Zero and I loved the hell out of it. I was very excited to see the movie version. Boy was I disappointed. I instantly hated that movie.

I wish someone would do a proper adaptation of Less Than Zero.
Old 03-08-13, 09:03 PM
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Re: Biggest Kick in the Nuts Movie You've Ever Seen

Saving Private Ryan

All the praises and all the people I knew were drooling over this movie.
I thought to myself "Finally Spielberg has done something amazing". What the fuck was I thinking.
3 years later though he did impress with AI and 4 years after that with Munich.
Old 03-08-13, 09:20 PM
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Re: Biggest Kick in the Nuts Movie You've Ever Seen

Avatar was all hype and little substance. It looked cool in 3D but that movie has a terrible story-line and literally no rewatchability.
Old 03-08-13, 10:12 PM
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Re: Biggest Kick in the Nuts Movie You've Ever Seen

Terminator: Salvation
Old 03-08-13, 10:18 PM
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Re: Biggest Kick in the Nuts Movie You've Ever Seen

Superman Returns. I loved the 1st 30 minutes when Superman "Returns", but boy did it go downhill fast after that..

V for Vendetta and Watchmen were letdowns too but I think now it's impossible to properly adapt Alan Moore material to the big screen.
Old 03-08-13, 11:04 PM
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Re: Biggest Kick in the Nuts Movie You've Ever Seen

Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes - I really wanted it to work but it failed miserably.
Old 03-08-13, 11:14 PM
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Re: Biggest Kick in the Nuts Movie You've Ever Seen

Sort of a weird one but Sphere. I wanted that one to be good so bad.
Old 03-08-13, 11:18 PM
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Re: Biggest Kick in the Nuts Movie You've Ever Seen

Originally Posted by Rockmjd23 View Post
Sort of a weird one but Sphere. I wanted that one to be good so bad.
Agreed.

I also HATED The Astronaut's Wife, which came out around the same time.
Old 03-08-13, 11:27 PM
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Re: Biggest Kick in the Nuts Movie You've Ever Seen

X-Men: The Last Stand

I followed the development of that one from around the time Singer left and was pretty sure it would be sub-par by the time it came out, but that didn't stop it from being a crushing disappointment when it finally came out. And to think I was so giddy at the end of X2 when the Phoenix showed itself...
Old 03-08-13, 11:34 PM
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Re: Biggest Kick in the Nuts Movie You've Ever Seen

Deathproof - Quentin Tarantino AND Kurt Russell? THIS HAS TO ROCK!!!

OOOOWWWW!!!!!
Old 03-08-13, 11:41 PM
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Re: Biggest Kick in the Nuts Movie You've Ever Seen

Natural Born Killers - It had a great pedigree. Story by QT, directed by Oliver Stone. Really excited to see it and it was one of the worst movies I have ever seen. If I were to ever make a top ten worst list, this would be in the top 3.

Batman Returns - Loved Burton's Batman (not so much anymore), and waited anxiously for the next one. Terrible. Worse than Joel Schumacher's turd.
Old 03-08-13, 11:50 PM
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Re: Biggest Kick in the Nuts Movie You've Ever Seen

Originally Posted by Charlie Goose View Post
Natural Born Killers - It had a great pedigree. Story by QT, directed by Oliver Stone. Really excited to see it and it was one of the worst movies I have ever seen. If I were to ever make a top ten worst list, this would be in the top 3.
Forgot about that one. BIG TIME.
Old 03-09-13, 12:19 AM
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Re: Biggest Kick in the Nuts Movie You've Ever Seen

Jurassic Park: The Lost World was pretty bad too especially since I read the book as well as every other 13 year old.
Old 03-09-13, 12:23 AM
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Re: Biggest Kick in the Nuts Movie You've Ever Seen

The Master- I'm an enormous P.T. Anderson maniac and I did have a state of denial for a couple weeks and then I just had to admit it bored the piss out of me. And I LOVED There Will Be Blood.

Les Miserables- Probably my most anticipated movie of the year (I love the show).... first viewing, I convinced myself it was "not that bad". Second viewing, I wanted to pull my hair out, such godawful directing. I can handle Russel Crowe's singing because he's still a good actor and was convincing as this character, but did EVERY song need to be a nostril-flaring closeup shot? EVERY ONE??? And don't get me started on the unfortunate video-game-looking-CGI scene design. Ugh.

I'm too tired from reliving my kicked balls right now, so I'll think of more later.
Old 03-09-13, 12:47 AM
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Re: Biggest Kick in the Nuts Movie You've Ever Seen

Id4
Old 03-09-13, 01:06 AM
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Re: Biggest Kick in the Nuts Movie You've Ever Seen

Sweeney Todd, perhaps my most favorite of all musicals, rendered unwatchable by that terrible Tim Burton movie. Every decision made in the production seemed to go out of it's way to weaken the film. Did they forget this was supposed to be funny? Why was the energy level of the actors so low? Mrs. Lovett sounded bored in everyone of her songs. During "The Worst Pies In London" she's so sedate the music nearly drowns her out. I'm still irritated Depp got an Oscar nomination for such a shit performance.

Ali G was good as Pirelli, but that's about it. Biggest disappontment in recent memory.
Old 03-09-13, 01:19 AM
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Re: Biggest Kick in the Nuts Movie You've Ever Seen

Without a doubt, Battle LA. As soon as I saw the trailer I was so pumped to see it. It looked to be a gritty, realistic war against aliens movie. Like Black Hawk Down with aliens instead of Somalis. The trailer was just so kick ass. I loved the music and the visuals and it just looked awesome. Unfortuntely the actual movie was laughably bad. At first while I was sitting there watching it I was immensely disappointed, but as the movie went on I just started to make fun of it which made the time go faster. Easily one of the worst movies I've ever seen in the theater...possibly even THE worst. Even now I still occasionally watch the trailer on YouTube. God, I so wanted that movie to be good.
Old 03-09-13, 01:28 AM
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Re: Biggest Kick in the Nuts Movie You've Ever Seen

Batman and Robin
Old 03-09-13, 01:42 AM
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Re: Biggest Kick in the Nuts Movie You've Ever Seen

Terminator 3 & The Lost World: Jurassic Park.

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