That would make EXPENDABLES 3 the greatest film of the century.

I saw this earlier this evening, and had a blast. It was much better than the first film and just delivered the goods. The original film sounded badass, but was lackluster, and this one makes up for that and gets it right.

I would rather see Jim Browm & Fred Williamson or all the actors who played James Bond than those two .

Now that you mention them, why not get the entire cast of Original Gangstas (assuming they're all still alive)?

Finally saw this yesterday...and I have to say this is a case of where it is too much of a good thing. I thought the first one was OK. The DC on blu was a much better film but even that is not saying much. This one was completely flat for me. It was a nice little novel idea for the first one to get some of the aging action stars together etc... But this one was trying way to hard and the box office shows as it really felt tired and worn out. No wonder no one makes action movies like this anymore as this one was running on fumes the way it was. And what is with every scene looking like a smoke filled room? ** out of **** for me.

IF there is a part 3 I will wait for DVD like almost everyone else will do.

No one told me there was a new thread to replace the old one, honestly, it's like you guys expect me to pay attention or something!

"Glory days well they'll pass you by, glory days in the wink of a young girl's eye glory days, glory days..."
Bruce Springsteen and the E-Street Band

Opening with the most literal possible bang, The Expendables 2 closes out summer movie season in high style. When Sylvester Stallone's bid to establish his stardom, as well as that of his cohorts first hit two years back, critics yawned. And admittedly, they sort of had the right to yawn. In spite of its knockout cast ("Ever movie has a hero. This one has them all," bragged one poster, with one of the coolest taglines in recent memory.), the film was a largely flawed affair, full of way too much shaky cam, rather poor editing, rather poor special effects, a largely disappointing waste of a once-in-a-lifetime cast, rather clumsy fight scenes, and many other problems. Still, in spite of the fact that I'm beyond sick the endless 80s revival, in spite of its innumerable problems, I enjoyed the hell out of the film anyway.

The sequel opens with an incredibly loud action scene full of vehicles with hilarious saying written on them to indicate that this isn't being taken very seriously. The Expendables are raiding a bad guy to save a Chinese billionaire. The Expendables are Rambo, Wong Fei-Hung, Ivan Drago, a Former Football player with Big Muscles, a Former MMA Fighter, The Transporter, and though we don't know it yet, The Guy From The Hunger Games. Wong Fei-Hung gets the film's best fight scene early on, a spectacular one-take showdown where he kills everyone with frying pans that looks for all the world like Corey Yuen Kwai or Yuen Wo Ping's work, though no Hong Kong choreographer is listed in the credits. Still, I'd SWEAR it was. Anyway, the Expendables find the Chinese billionaire and John Matrix the Terminator, who was sent to rescue him before them, but got captured. They all bail out, many one-liners are traded, and Wong Fei-Hung goes back to China and is sadly not in the rest of the movie.

Relaxing in a bar after the job, The Guy From The Hunger Games reveals to Rambo that he has a girl waiting at home and wants out of the violence game, and even shows us her picture. Those of us who've watched enough 80s action movies, which is likely everyone since no one who hasn't will likely be sitting through this movie, know that that means he is so, so dead. Rambo is visited by John McClane, who tells him he owes him and he is therefore going to take his team to pick ups some secret plans from a safe in a downed airplane. He insists they take along a woman who is a safe-cracker, played by Chinese actress Yu Nan because Jet Li Lian-Jie is now gone and they apparently needed one to get the film into wide release in China, as well as to add a little female presence, probably at the behest of the producers. And Donnie Yen Ji-Dan didn't want to be in it, because he hates us all. So the Expendables go to Bulgaria, where all the same producer's direct-to-video movies are filmed and this one was too in order to keep the budget down. The safe-cracker is The Character Who Is Named Maggie Cheung, But Inexplicably Isn't Played By Maggie Cheung. They get the item from the safe, but of course nothing goes according to plan. The evil Vilain shows up, who is so evil that he has a foreign accent, is actually named villain, always wears dark sunglasses even in deep tunnels, and after two decades in this country, has an accent that is still goddam impenetrable. He and his evil henchman Yuri Boyka kill The Guy From The Hunger Games and then fly away.

The object they gave him turns out to be map to plutonium from the Cold War, the last time most of these guys were actually popular. He's using slave labor to mine it and then wants to kill the slaves, because he's an evil European bastard with an accent. John McClane is angry that it fell into evil hands, but Rambo, Ivan Drago, a Former Football player with big muscles, a Former MMA fighter, The Character Who's Named Maggie Cheung, But Inexplicably Isn't Played By Maggie Cheung, and The Transporter all ignore him and go to take revenge for themselves in the name of The Guy From The Hunger Games. Much ass-kicking and exploding ensues, they save a village full of women who cannot help themselves because their husbands have been kidnapped to work in the plutonium mine. This being the 80s in all but name, the women, in spite of having guns, cannot help themselves. So Rambo, Ivan Drago, a Former Football player with big muscles, a Former MMA fighter, The Character Who is Named Maggie Cheung, But Inexplicably Isn't Played By Maggie Cheung, and The Transporter save them, but then get into trouble, but are saved by Chuck Fucking Norris, who comes and makes meta jokes about how he is awesome because he Chuck Fucking Norris while the music from The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly plays. Exactly why he shows up other than because, presumably, the writers had written themselves into a corner, is unclear, as he disappear again after making a Chuck Norris Joke.

They attack and get stuck inside of the mine, but fortunately John Matrix the Terminator shows up again with John McClane and they all get out and a giant gunfight ensues. Like, gigantic. Like the 80s plus CGI gigantic. Chuck Fucking Norris comes back, and everyone fires tons and tons and tons of guns because they're now too old to do actual stunts. The characters make various meta references to the characters they've previously played, Yuri Boyka and the Transporter throw down in a good if not great fight scene, ending in an awesome death, and Rambo and the Muscles from Brussels fight each other in a scene that involves very little martial arts and lots of beating the shit out of each other. Rambo is the screenwriter, so of course he wins, cutting off the Muscles from Brussels head with a knife. Because Rambo still doesn't like Ivan Drago, in spite of Lundgren trying to hook up with her throughout the whole movie, he doesn't get the girl. The Character Who is Named Maggie Cheung, But Inexplicably Isn't Played By Maggie Cheung bids goodbye to Rambo, who brushes her off like he did Giselle Itié and Julie Bends, because he is too old, but he still has a love interest because he is of course heterosexual. Poor Ivan Drago.

Overall, I liked this better than the first. West seems to get that the whole thing is a big joke from a bunch of past-their-prime stars, and unlike Stallone's straight-faced melodrama, he treats it as such. As a result, this one is way more fun. It has to hold the world record for the most one-liners, presumably because most of these guys aren't used to much more dialogue than that and some don't speak much English. I was hoping for more from the fights because I pine for the Hong Kong glory days, but fight choreographer Don Thai does generally good work, though the Statham-Adkins smackdown could've been better, IMO. Unlike Stallone, West believes in using a tripod, and as a result, his action sequences are much more fun because you can tell what the hell is going on. It's nice and lean at 102 minutes, and it's generally a fun trip back to the days when a movie was sold solely on its musclebound stars, every good guy was an upstanding guy with big pecs, every villain was an evil mustache-twirler with a foreign accent because that indicated he was bad, and everyone bled gallon and gallons of blood. Somewhere, Ronald Regan is smiling. Of course, in this case, most of the blood is that hideous digital stuff, but hey, at least it's not rated PG-13. All the fun that could be expected. Lets hope for one more go-round with more Jet Li and Donnie Yen and then maybe the 80s can FINALLY be over and we can move on. But until then, I won't lie. This was fun, and I will buy it. Yipee-Kai-Ya, I'll be back, I must break you, I'm the most complete fighter in the world!

So, I finally got a chance to take this in over the weekend. I rewatched the first film about a week ago, and was surprised by how much worse it was than I remembered. I still had a fun time watching it, but there are A LOT of deficiencies.

This was so much better in almost every way.

The opening was killer. Once the guys roar onto the screen, it's a total assault all the way through to the title card. I loved the energy.

JCVD was in great shape, but his face looked like it needed 10 years of heavy sleep. Dude has bags under his eyes big enough to hold my groceries.

I didn't really have a problem with Billy being added to the team, but if you're going to add a character make him matter. We meet him, he announces he wants out, and we all know where that's going. Killing off a member of the team would have had a little more impact if it were Toll Road; it's not like Couture had shit to do anyway.

The plot moved at a quick pace, although it still felt draggy in the second act.

I didn't mind so much that everyone played things tongue in cheek. There needs to be some awareness of everyone's part that they're all old and "belong in a museum". While I would've liked the tone of the film to be more like Rambo, I had no problem with the tone here.

Why was Charisma Carpenter in this? She didn't even look hot.

The Chuck Norris bits were great. I don't think I've ever had the pleasure of seeing him in an action film on the big screen. Loved the x-ray gag.

The final shootout at the airport was balls-to-the-wall bliss. I don't care if everyone had magic unlimited ammo, watching Arnold mow down guys with Caesar's gun put a big grin on my face.

Technically, I thought the editing was tighter, less frenetic. Color timing, which I only notice now because Snake bitches about it so much, did look noticeably better than the last film.

Bring on EX3.

That bugged me as well. Especially since his eyes looked perfectly fine during the final moments of his fight with Stallone. It's as if he was shooting his scenes during pee breaks while partying in non-stop keggers.

I was wondering about that. His eyes looked like shit.

Well, he had sunglasses on for most of the film--even in that dark mine!

I'm not going to lie..but...I actually thought we'd get to see wtf Arnold's team was. We know he has his own crew...and then he says they're out there...but we never see them. Thought Norris was one of his crew but nope....*sigh* EX3, I guess?

That would be a weird thing to lie about.

I was wondering about a showdown between Arnold's team too. It would be awesome if a 3rd movie was some competition between the two.

It's implied that Norris teams up with Arnold's group at the end. Shame he has no interest in EX3.

And, yes, I expected to see Arnold's team when he mentioned them. Instead, he disappears from the prologue and he arrives towards the end with a team brought in by Willis. It's as if they shot scenes around actors that never signed on.

It is too bad Chuck won't be back, but I'm glad he was in it at all.

I really hope EX3 gives Arnold a role as meaty as Sly's, with both teams either battling it out, teaming up, or whatever. I just want lots of shit blowed up and a high body count.

They should get Shane Black to write EX3.

Is he still in shape to take a decent role, too?

If they get Carl Weathers, we could have a little Predator reunion.

Carl Weathers is unlikely. He had a falling out with Stallone over a salary and role dispute regarding Rocky Balboa. And apparently he's hated Dolph Lundgren since Rocky IV.

Shane Black doesn't look all that bad these days. It's not like he was ever ripped during Predator.

True. And I forgot about the Weathers incident. I'll bet he wishes he hadn't burned that bridge now.

I wish Bronson was still alive for this...

Bronson would be 90 now.

But Borgnine was alive when this was made.

That's because he's EVIL! BWA HAHAHAHAA MWA HAAAA!!

Sorry, should have specified: Bronson circa 1983.

Oh, if we're going back in time, then what you really want is Victor McLaglen in WHAT PRICE GLORY (1926), the one on the left:

Borgnine would have been great as Stallone's old man.

That would've been awesome. Borgnine always brought a smile to moments.

Just got back from seeing this. Loved to see Stallone, Arnie, Willis, Norris, VanDamme, and the rest on screen at the same time. Would have liked to see Chuck do some hand to hand even if it would have been his stunt double. I also would have liked to see Maggie Q or Lucy Liu as the female hero vs. the girl i hadn't seen before although her action scenes were fine