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Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise...

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Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise...

Old 11-02-09, 12:44 PM
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Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise...

http://whedonesque.com/comments/22240

And I quote:


An Open Letter to the Terminator Owners. From a Very Important Hollywood Mogul

Dear Sirs/Ma'ams,

I am Joss Whedon, the mastermind behind Titan A.E., Parenthood (not the movie) (or the new series) (or the one where 'hood' was capitalized 'cause it was a pun), and myriad other legendary tales. I have heard through the 'grapevine' that the Terminator franchise is for sale, and I am prepared to make a pre-emptive bid RIGHT NOW to wrap this dealio up. This is not a joke, this is not a scam, this is not available on TV. I will write a check TODAY for $10,000, and viola! Terminator off your hands.

No, you didn't miscount. That's four -- FOUR! -- zeroes after that one. That's to show you I mean business. And I mean show business. Nikki Finke says the Terminator concept is played. Well, here's what I have to say to Nikki Finke: you are a fine journalist and please don't ever notice me. The Terminator story is as formative and important in our culture -- and my pretend play -- as any I can think of. It's far from over. And before you Terminator-Owners (I have trouble remembering names) rush to cash that sweet cheque, let me give you a taste of what I could do with that franchise:

1) Terminator... of the Rings! Yeah, what if he time-travelled TOO far... back to when there was dragons and wizards? (I think it was the Dark Ages.) Hasta La Vista, Boramir! Cool, huh? "Now you gonna be Gandalf the Red!" RRRRIP! But then he totally helps, because he's a cyborg and he doesn't give a s#&% about the ring -- it has no power over him! And he can carry it AND Frodo AND Sam AND [email protected]%& up some orcs while he's doing it. This stuff just comes to me. I mean it. (I will also offer $10,000 for the Lord of the Rings franchise).

2) More Glau. Hey. There's a reason they're called "Summer" movies.

3) Can you say... musical? Well don't. Even I know that's an awful idea.

4) Christian Bale's John Connor will get a throat lozenge. This will also help his Batwork (ten grand for that franchise too, btw.)

5) More porn. John Connor never told Kyle Reese this, but his main objective in going to the past was to get some. What if there's a lot of future-babies that have to be made? Cue wah-wah pedal guitar -- and dollar signs!

6) The movies will stop getting less cool.

Okay. There's more -- this brain don't quit! (though it has occasionally been fired) -- but I think you get my drift. I really believe the Terminator franchise has only begun to plumb the depths of questioning the human condition during awesome stunts, and I'd like to shepherd it through the next phase. The money is there, but more importantly, the heart is there. But more importantly, money. Think about it. End this bloody bidding war before it begins, and put the Terminator in the hands of someone who watched the first one more than any other movie in college, including "Song of Norway" (no current franchise offer).

Sincerely, Joss Whedon.
Make of that what you will.
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Old 11-02-09, 12:52 PM
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Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise...

awesome.
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Old 11-02-09, 12:54 PM
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Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise...

If that's really Whedon, it's obvious he's doing it as a joke while cracking on the condition to which they have let the franchise sink.
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Old 11-02-09, 01:02 PM
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Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise...

It is Joss Whedon. He posts on that fan / news site Whedonesque along with some of his fellow writers like Tim Minear.

If only this was April 1st...
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Old 11-02-09, 01:08 PM
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Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise...

I'll give him major props for the wit and satire.
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Old 11-02-09, 01:12 PM
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Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise...

Yeah, let's count the number of successful films, he's done. Oh wait..
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Old 11-02-09, 01:13 PM
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Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise...

I haven't read that letter yet, but it is the GREATEST LETTER EVER WRITTEN.
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Old 11-02-09, 01:48 PM
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Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise...

Regardless if it's true or not, he needs to be miles and miles away from ANY movie franchise except all his failed ones.
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Old 11-02-09, 01:57 PM
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Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise...

What I never understood is why didn't anybody just buy from whomever owns it and just let Cameron run with it again when he could've been given the chance.

Does anyone know wtf Cameron thought of T3? God..that was an awful turd to see.
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Old 11-02-09, 02:16 PM
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Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise...

I am a huge fan of both Buffy and Angel --two of my favorite shows ever -- but I didn't think that was remotely funny.
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Old 11-02-09, 02:19 PM
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Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise...

Not bad. I picture this rubbing fans of Sarah Connor Chronicles the wrong way.
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Old 11-02-09, 02:25 PM
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Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise...

Shouldn't he be off trying to fix Dollhouse?
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Old 11-02-09, 02:26 PM
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Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise...

Originally Posted by Anubis2005X View Post
Shouldn't he be off trying to fix Dollhouse?
There are some things even Our Lord and Savior cannot do.
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Old 11-02-09, 02:44 PM
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Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise...

I wonder why he even took the time to post that anywhere. It's painfully unfunny.
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Old 11-02-09, 03:10 PM
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Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise...

hack
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Old 11-02-09, 03:23 PM
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Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise...

Sounds like he has something like this in mind:

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Old 11-02-09, 04:20 PM
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Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise...

Originally Posted by RyoHazuki View Post
I wonder why he even took the time to post that anywhere. It's painfully unfunny.

+1000
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Old 11-02-09, 11:31 PM
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Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise...

The only thing I learned from that is that Joss Whedon posts while high.
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Old 11-03-09, 03:16 AM
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Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise...

If there is one thing that Alien Resurrection taught us, it's that Joss Whedon shouldn't be allowed to play with other people's toys.

(Of course, I'm of the mind that the Terminator shouldn't have been franchised. The more sequels that come out, the more glaring the flaws of the initial concept become.)
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Old 11-03-09, 10:37 AM
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Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise...

Meh. Wasn't that funny.
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Old 11-03-09, 10:56 AM
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Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise...

Sci-fi authors Brenda Clough and Ryk Spoor have talked about doing a book called Terminators of Endearment (to be followed by Pride and Extreme Prejudice, of course). A much better idea than anything in Whedon's article.
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Old 11-03-09, 10:56 AM
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Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise...

Dear Mr. Whedon:

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Old 11-03-09, 10:57 AM
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Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise...

he forgot to credit himself for Alien: Resurrection. They should know this.
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Old 11-03-09, 10:58 AM
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Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise...

Every crappy line/script Whedon ever wrote was someone else's fault.
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Old 11-03-09, 01:19 PM
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Re: Joss Whedon wants to 'buy' the Terminator franchise...

Originally Posted by Josh-da-man View Post
If there is one thing that Alien Resurrection taught us, it's that Joss Whedon shouldn't be allowed to play with other people's toys.
I thought he just found some fan fiction on GeoCities and submitted that for a script.
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