Steven Seagal: Vampire Hunter.. in "Against the Dark"
Well, my dream film has come to fruition. Of course, since it's Seagal, it's DTV, but this has potential to be one of the best senseless movies ever.
The odds are Steven Seagal doesn’t actually fall in love with a hot, brooding, highly-moussed vampire in his new movie, Against the Dark, but it would be fun to watch. Instead, ShockTillYouDrop reports the movie will most likely follow the exciting synopsis below. ”Katana master Tao (Steven Seagal) leads a special ops squad of ex-military vigilantes on a massacre mission, their target: vampires. On the post-apocalyptic globe, sucked dry by bloodthirsty vampires, a few remaining survivors are trapped in an infected hospital. Tao is their only hope and he knows the only cure is execution. Now it’s time for the last stand against the flesh-eating vampires and there’s nothing left to lose but the last of humanity.” They had me at “Katana master Tao.” Sounds like a mash-up of Blade and John Carpenter’s Vampires, and may actually be worth a drunken viewing even with Seagal attached. The movie is cinematographer Richard Crudo’s directorial debut. And since when do vampires eat flesh? Is Seagal pulling a Twilight and messing with the vampire mythology? Seagal continues to be a busy man. In addition to Against the Dark, he has two other films in various stages of production, Ruslan and The Keeper. Seagal also recently announced his presence in a new reality TV series called “Steven Seagal: Lawman.” The show will follow his “adventures as a fully-commissioned deputy with the Jefferson Parish Sheriff’s Office in Louisiana.” Sweet. Against the Dark should be arriving on DVD sometime next year. http://i39.tinypic.com/2572efc.jpg |
"Seagal also recently announced his presence in a new reality TV series called “Steven Seagal: Lawman.” The show will follow his “adventures as a fully-commissioned deputy with the Jefferson Parish Sheriff’s Office in Louisiana.”
How the hell did Van Damme not get this gig?!--for pete's sake, he plays a Lousiana cajun in at least half of his movies! :lol: |
Yeah I saw a listing for this on dvdactive and almost shit myself. I mean, really why did it take this long for Seagal vs Vampires? And it stars Keith David, Linden Ashby (Johnny Cage) as well as The Rock's stunt double! Gold baby!
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I'll see it.
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I want to see this!
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the trailer is good for a laugh:
http://shocktillyoudrop.com/news/videonews.php?id=8933 |
Oh man...those are vampires? They look like zombies!
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They sound like vampire zombies from the sounds of it. Apparently they dine on flesh.
This film = comedy gold. |
LOL, I'm gonna see this.
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i wonder how much blatent stunt doubles and bad voice dubs this one's gonna have
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This sounds like it could be the greatest film of all time.
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Steven Seagal. Zombie Vampires. Post Apocalyptic. I'm ready!
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This will probably be the first Seagal movie I've seen since Executive Decision. The only reason I saw that was because he died a horrible death. Zombie vampires interest me though..
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Best movie idea ever.
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Re: Steven Seagal: Vampire Hunter.. in "Against the Dark"
So anyone pick this up today besides me?
Its not bad for DTV, but my main complaint is Seagal does not have much screen time. Spoiler:
The last battle wasn't bad, and overall it was a decent effort for DTV, and good to see Seagal try a different genre, but I wish he had more screen time. |
Re: Steven Seagal: Vampire Hunter.. in "Against the Dark"
Originally Posted by stingermck
(Post 9258091)
Seagal does not have much screen time.
At the same time,I know he's not that great of an actor to maybe this is good. Very curious about this.... |
Re: Steven Seagal: Vampire Hunter.. in "Against the Dark"
Does Keith David fistfight a vampire for 20 minutes?
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Re: Steven Seagal: Vampire Hunter.. in "Against the Dark"
Yeah this one was marketed to boost rentals/sales. I actually saw advertisements for this. First time in years I saw an advert for a Seagal film on TV. I gotta pick it up this week.
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Re: Steven Seagal: Vampire Hunter.. in "Against the Dark"
Originally Posted by Zen Peckinpah
(Post 9258232)
Does Keith David fistfight a vampire for 20 minutes?
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Re: Steven Seagal: Vampire Hunter.. in "Against the Dark"
I would love to see a movie where Van Damme plays a Eurotrash vampire and Seagal was a Native-American-descended werewolf, and they could duel.
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Re: Steven Seagal: Vampire Hunter.. in "Against the Dark"
Originally Posted by stingermck
(Post 9258091)
...I wish he had more screen time.
I think that would appeal to people. |
Re: Steven Seagal: Vampire Hunter.. in "Against the Dark"
OMFG this was horrible, and not in a good "so bad it's funny" way. First of all, they're not vampires or zombies - they're some sort of infected almost-dead people. I never figured out what the fuck they were or why I should even care.
I didn't believe it was possible that Seagal could be a worse actor than he already was, but he outdid himself. The dialog was horrible. At one point Seagal and his band of "hunters" killed a bunch of vampires/zombies/whatever, and Seagal turns to his crew and solemnly announces: "We're not here to decide who's right and who's wrong; we're here to decide who lives and who dies." What the fuck does that even mean? |
Re: Steven Seagal: Vampire Hunter.. in "Against the Dark"
Yeah, most Segal movies are pretty bad. I actually watched one about a month ago (i think it was called Kill Zone, also had Issac Hayes), man, that was embarassing to watch. Segal tried to talk street, he mumbled everything to a point where you could barely understand what he was saying. And its one of those Segal movies where he doesn't do any of his own stunts, where its kind of blatent, and they reuse the same shots over and over again to pad the fight scenes out.
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Re: Steven Seagal: Vampire Hunter.. in "Against the Dark"
Originally Posted by Bandoman
(Post 9340512)
The dialog was horrible. At one point Seagal and his band of "hunters" killed a bunch of vampires/zombies/whatever, and Seagal turns to his crew and solemnly announces: "We're not here to decide who's right and who's wrong; we're here to decide who lives and who dies." What the fuck does that even mean?
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Re: Steven Seagal: Vampire Hunter.. in "Against the Dark"
I'm a bit of Seagal aficionado (mainly because of transition from mainstream action films to Direct-to-DVD unintentional comedy), and really hated this one. It's not a Seagal film. At all. He's in it for like 15 minutes, tops. Maybe less. Fucking Johnny Cage has a bigger role than he does.
They weren't vampires. Like originally thought.. this was just a 28 Weeks Later/Resident Evil ripoff with terrible action and shitty dialogue. I wasn't expecting Citizen Kane, but it was pretty bad. BUT.. it was probably Seagal's best movie since Exit Wounds. What does that say? If you want to see Seagal at his "best" (or worst, depending on how you look at it), watch Pistol Whipped (where he farts and it's picked up on the mike) or Kill Switch (which is the most poorly edited filmed I've ever seen). At least in Kill Switch Seagal has a fake Southern accent. Also the guy with the goatee that was in this one is The Rock's cousin. He's Seagal's bodydouble in all of his Direct-to-DVD films. Ironic they had them starring together in this. |
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