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Crank vs. Shoot 'Em Up: The Battle for the Ages

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View Poll Results: Which is the better film?
Crank (2006)
31
35.23%
Shoot 'Em Up (2007)
27
30.68%
I like both the same.
10
11.36%
I think both are shit.
18
20.45%
Whoopi Goldberg in Jumping Jack Twikoff
2
2.27%
Voters: 88. You may not vote on this poll

Crank vs. Shoot 'Em Up: The Battle for the Ages

Old 06-30-08, 01:17 PM
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Crank vs. Shoot 'Em Up: The Battle for the Ages

Yet again were all of us divided on what was a better movie, Crank or Shoot 'Em Up, in the thread for Wanted.

Anytime there is a thread discussing a recent R-rated action film on this board, the argument comes up yet again.

It's time we end it and start a poll in which we decide what is the better film ...

Crank

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Released: September 1, 2006

Written and directed by: Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor

Summary: Jason Statham, playing an aggravated British man, gets injected with a poison in which he will die in one hour if he doesn't find the cure. To keep his heartbeat up, he decides to wage an all out war in which he kills a lot of people, does a lot of drugs, and has public sex in Chinatown.

Pros:
- Lots of gratuitous bloody violence.
- Mean spirited.
- Dwight Yoakam playing another creepy son of a bitch.
- Amy Smart gets plowed (in Chinatown with a bunch of onlookers watching).
- Very little CGI. Most of the effects are done using practical effects in camera.
- Car chase through a mall.
- An ending that relies all on spectacle involving a helicopter and works.
- 87 minutes.

Cons:
- I still don't believe Jason Statham can act.
- Efren Ramirez as Gay Pedro. Going for broke with his stereotype, he would go on to play Gay Pedro again in the Dane Cook epic Employee of the Month less than a month later.
- Too inconsistent. Doesn't know if it wants to be a serious action film or a b-movie romp.
- Amy Smart keeps her clothes on.

---

Shoot 'Em Up

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Released: September 7, 2007

Written and directed by: Michael Davis

Summary: Clive Owen, playing an aggravated homeless British man, saves a newborn baby from sadistic killer Paul Giamatti (who kills the mother directly after childbirth). Giamatti is not too pleased and decides to wage an all out war involving lots of guns and explosions.

Pros:
- Lots of gratuitous bloody violence.
- Clive Owen and Paul Giamatti have more talent than all of the cast of Crank.
- Monica Bellucci gets naked in a sex scene that leads to, wait for it, more bloody violence.
- Davis knows what Shoot 'Em Up is. A live-action cartoon. He plays it up and rolls in it for the entire run-time.
- For 86 minutes, it's an all out action spectacle that simply is a lot of fun.

Cons:
- Very awful dialog, ironic considering Davis is a pro at writing great dialog.
- Monica Bellucci might get naked, but she also plays a lactating hooker.
- Too much awful CGI.
- Not as mean-spirited as our former film.

---

As much as I enjoy both films, I give the edge out to Shoot 'Em Up. It's just too much fun with a solid cast and director/writer behind it.

With that said though, I will see Crank 2: High Voltage when it comes out.

Last edited by Matthew Chmiel; 06-30-08 at 01:22 PM.
Old 06-30-08, 01:22 PM
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I thought Crank was a lot of fun in it's over the top action, but for some reason just found my self rolling my eyes at Shoot Em Up and it's corny dialog right from the get go and the cheesy one liners just kept me from enjoying it at all.
Old 06-30-08, 01:28 PM
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'Bout time for this thread.

Originally Posted by Jam Master Jay
I thought Crank was a lot of fun in it's over the top action, but for some reason just found my self rolling my eyes at Shoot Em Up and it's corny dialog right from the get go and the cheesy one liners just kept me from enjoying it at all.
Opposite for me. I new from the opening minutes of Shoot 'em Up. it was supposed to be a live action cartoon right down to the silly one liners and the carrots. If the carrots weren't a big fucking red flag, I don't know what is. Giamatti fucking owned the movie. He chewed up more scenery than any actor in recent memory.

As much as I enjoy Statham as an action star Crank tried too hard to be a serious action movie. It was like a rejected Speed 3 screenplay, if you will, and no one told the filmmakers it was rejected for a reason. It failed miserably. Amy Smart getting plowed in public was the only redeeming scene in the film.

Wanted, however tops them both. Took the action elements of the other two and had a decent plot which the other two lacked. It knew what kind of movie it was supposed to be and delivered.

Last edited by Michael Corvin; 06-30-08 at 01:30 PM.
Old 06-30-08, 01:29 PM
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Shoot 'Em Up because Clive Owen is the fucking man (see: Children of Men)
Old 06-30-08, 01:32 PM
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I enjoyed both for what they were and completely agree that Owen and Giamatti are far more talented than anyone involved with Crank. That said, I liked Crank better.
Old 06-30-08, 01:34 PM
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let's face it, they were both bad movies, very poorly executed. "Wanted" was "Lawrence of Arabia" compared.
Old 06-30-08, 01:34 PM
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Shoot 'em up, it started at over the top and went from there. It is by all means a bad movie, but it's a great one at that.

Crank was a dull retread, it did very little that was unique, different, or particularly memorable.

That said, Wanted was much more fun than either of them.
Old 06-30-08, 01:40 PM
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Originally Posted by Matthew Chmiel
- Monica Bellucci might get naked, but she also plays a lactating hooker.
Yeah, that still belongs in the Pros column.

Crank also gets a plus from me for the way Refused's "New Noise" is incorporated into the score. I'm not a big fan of pop music replacing real soundtracks, but I liked it in this instance. Given all that, I think it's a draw. Crank is more fun, but Shoot 'Em Up is more interesting. Ever since Hard Boiled I've liked the idea of bloody violence in defense of babies, and Shoot 'Em Up almost feels like a Bizarro World version of Children of Men.
Old 06-30-08, 01:47 PM
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When these movies are compared to Wanted, is that done favorably? If Wanted is like Shoot 'Em Up, I will never, ever see it.
Old 06-30-08, 01:52 PM
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Originally Posted by The Bus
When these movies are compared to Wanted, is that done favorably? If Wanted is like Shoot 'Em Up, I will never, ever see it.
The comparison stems from them all being mindless, over the top action movies.

Shoot 'em up was high camp - it took itself highly seriously despite being completely ridiculous situations, they delivered campy dialog like it was normal and there wasn't even a hint of a wink toward the camera.

Crank sort of took that in the opposite direction, it took itself seriously but there were scenes where the movie was self-aware even if the characters weren't necessarily. The directors sort of winked at the camera.

Wanted has a little more going on under the hood, but is similarly an over-the-top action movie, the dialog isn't anywhere near as campy or forced as Shoot 'em up, and it is leagues more creative than Crank. In this one, the characters, at least in parts, seem aware of how absolutely ludicrious the things going on are, but still play it straight. It is a bit like a derivation of Fight Club and The Matrix in comic book land.
Old 06-30-08, 01:54 PM
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I loved Crank.

I didn't care for Shoot 'Em Up at all. Which really surprised me considering I usually enjoy cheesy action films, Clive Owen, guns, and violence. It just failed to connect with me on any level, and I became bored with it very early on. Probably my most disappointing purchase of the year.

I don't hate it, but I wouldn't want to sit through it again.
Old 06-30-08, 02:06 PM
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Shoot'em Up, seen it 40 times now and each time it gets better.

And how can "Monica Bellucci might get naked, but she also plays a lactating hooker" be a con?
Old 06-30-08, 02:13 PM
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Originally Posted by Jam Master Jay
I thought Crank was a lot of fun in it's over the top action, but for some reason just found my self rolling my eyes at Shoot Em Up and it's corny dialog right from the get go and the cheesy one liners just kept me from enjoying it at all.
Yep.

I would take Wanted over both of them though.
Old 06-30-08, 02:16 PM
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Crank I thought was a lot of fun and kept getting better after I first saw it. Shoot em up on the other hand started off fun then just stalled. Advantage Crank.
Old 06-30-08, 03:01 PM
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Originally Posted by Jam Master Jay
I thought Crank was a lot of fun in it's over the top action, but for some reason just found my self rolling my eyes at Shoot Em Up and it's corny dialog right from the get go and the cheesy one liners just kept me from enjoying it at all.
My thoughts as well. I'm confused at the comments that Crank took itself too seriously, when it didn't feel that way at all to me. Obviously not as over the top as Shoot Em Up which sets the tone right from the start, but Crank never felt like it tried to be a more serious action flick to me at all.
Old 06-30-08, 03:07 PM
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In my comments at least, "Seriously" referred to it wasn't a self-aware movie. It was over-the-top and never sets a dire tone.
Old 06-30-08, 03:19 PM
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I love them both equally, but if I had to choose it would be Shoot 'em Up because of Paul Giamatti's performance. Never would I have thought he could play such a cool, suave character. But he pulled it off perfectly.
Old 06-30-08, 03:29 PM
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Originally Posted by Jam Master Jay
I thought Crank was a lot of fun in it's over the top action, but for some reason just found my self rolling my eyes at Shoot Em Up and it's corny dialog right from the get go and the cheesy one liners just kept me from enjoying it at all.
same for me as well...

Originally Posted by onebyone

I would take Wanted over both of them though.
100% agree...
Old 06-30-08, 03:56 PM
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Crank absolutley destroys Shoot Em Up.


Shoot Em Up is one of the worst movies I've seen in a long time.
Old 06-30-08, 04:08 PM
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Shoot Em Up kicks all kinds of ass.
Crank is absolute shit.
Old 06-30-08, 04:10 PM
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I love how divided everyone is on both of these movies. I'm also surprised at all the love for Crank.
Old 06-30-08, 04:12 PM
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I like them both but I enjoyed Shoot Em Up much more.
Old 06-30-08, 04:25 PM
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Both are movies I enjoyed on my initial viewing, but have no desire to see again.
Old 06-30-08, 04:39 PM
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Choice 4 = Choice 3
Old 06-30-08, 05:09 PM
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What are you talking about?? Monica Bellucci was not naked. You didn't see anything...Yeah, if the girls in Victoria's Secret are naked, sure.

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