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Chuck Norris' "Greatest 1-liners in tough-guy movie history"

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Chuck Norris' "Greatest 1-liners in tough-guy movie history"

Old 08-06-07, 07:09 AM
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Chuck Norris' "Greatest 1-liners in tough-guy movie history"



Greatest 1-liners in tough-guy movie history

Posted: August 6, 2007
1:00 a.m. Eastern

My favorite one-liners in others' movies

Some of my favorite one-liners from their films include the following. (Before discovering their movie origin to the right of each saying, see if you can guess the sources or maybe even test a friend's knowledge.)

"Here's looking at you kid." (Humphrey Bogart in "Casablanca" – 1942)

"How does a girl like you get to be a girl like you?" (Cary Grant in "North by Northwest" – 1959)

"Out here, due process is a bullet." (John Wayne in "The Green Berets" – 1968)

"You've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya punk?" (Clint Eastwood in "Dirty Harry" – 1971)

"I spent my whole life trying not to be careless. Women and children can be careless. But not men." (Marlon Brando in "The God Father" – 1972)

"I don't want to kill everyone." (Al Pacino in "The God Father 2" – 1974)

"You talkin' to me?" (Robert De Niro in "Taxi Driver" – 1976)

"Dyin' ain't much of a living, boy." (Clint Eastwood in "The Outlaw Josey Wales" – 1976)

"With a little luck, the network will pick me up." (Sigourney Weaver in "Alien" – 1979 – after ridding the spacecraft of aliens)

"Why, you stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf-herder!" (Carrie Fisher in "Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back" – 1980)

"Go ahead, make my day." (Clint Eastwood in "Sudden Impact" – 1983)

"I'll be back" (Arnold Schwarzenegger in "The Terminator" – 1984) (This line would be repeated in some reminiscent way in nine of his following movies).

"He's dead tired." (Arnold Schwarzenegger in "Commando" – 1985 – after killing a man)

"You're the disease. I'm the cure." (Sylvester Stallone in "Cobra" – 1986)

"A hundred million terrorists in the world and I gotta kill one with feet smaller than my sister." (Bruce Willis in "Die Hard" – 1988 – after killing and stealing the shoes of a terrorist)

"I'm like a bad penny, I always turn up." (Harrison Ford in "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade" – 1989)

"After I shoot you through the door, you can examine the bullet. Open up!" (Mel Gibson in "Lethal Weapon 2" – 1989).

"I crap bigger than you." (Jack Palance in "City Slickers" –1991)

"Hasta la vista, baby!" (Arnold Schwarzenegger in "Terminator 2: Judgment Day" – 1991)

"Why Johnny Ringo, you look like somebody just walked over your grave." (Val Kilmer in "Tombstone" – 1993)

"Before we let you leave, your commander must cross that field, present himself before this army, put his head between his legs, and kiss his own arse." (Mel Gibson in "Braveheart" – 1995)

"Before this war is over, I'm going to kill you." (Mel Gibson in "The Patriot" – 2000)

"We just rolled up a snowball and threw it into Hell. Now we'll see if it has a chance." (Tom Cruise in "Mission Impossible 2" – 2000)

"Who's your Daddy now?" (Angelina Jolie in "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" – 2005 – After she hits Brad Pitt's character with a teapot and headbutts him)

A few favorite lines from my own movies

I'm often asked about my favorite one-liners from my own movies. Here are a few that stand out and still cause me to chuckle.

"My kind of trouble doesn't take vacations" ("Lone Wolf McQuade" – 1983)

"If I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you" ("Code of Silence" – 1985)

"If you come back in here, I'm going to hit you with so many rights, you're going to beg for a left." ("Invasion USA" – 1985)

"Sleep tight, sucker." ("The Delta Force" – 1986 – after taking out a terrorist)

One thing all of us action heroes have learned is that the best tough-guy lines often have the fewest words. Some have no words at all! How many reputations have been created and maintained by a gaze? Even in my recent Mountain Dew commercial and an upcoming Honda commercial (I just finished shooting this past weekend), my primary role was simply staring at the camera and others without speaking hardly a word. (Now that's my type of script!)
Old 08-06-07, 07:21 AM
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Obligatory: This list sucks
Old 08-06-07, 08:25 AM
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How about some Chuck Norris facts........

When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.

There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.

A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)

Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.

Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.

Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words.

Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.

Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.

When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.

When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.

Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."

Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.

Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.

When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!

In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.

Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.

Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.

Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.

Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.

Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.

Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.

The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.

When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
Old 08-06-07, 07:10 PM
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"I ain't got time to bleed" - Jesse Ventura in "Predator"

is better than most of the ones Chuck chose.
Old 08-06-07, 07:37 PM
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If Chuck Norris is running late.....time better slow the fuck down.
Old 08-06-07, 07:44 PM
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Chuck Norris made the Kessel Run in less than 10 parsecs.
Old 08-06-07, 10:21 PM
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Carrie Fisher was a tough-guy?!?
Old 08-06-07, 10:49 PM
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even though its a line said by a bad guy it belongs on this list:

"I used to f*ck guys like you up the ass in prison" (ROAD HOUSE)
Old 08-07-07, 11:23 AM
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"With a little luck, the network will pick me up." (Sigourney Weaver in "Alien" – 1979)
That's one of the greatest one-liners from the Alien movies?
Old 08-07-07, 11:52 AM
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Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.

Chuck Norris main export is pain.

Chuck Norris tears can cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Old 08-07-07, 08:01 PM
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"If I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you" ("Code of Silence" – 1985)

Old 08-07-07, 08:36 PM
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# There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

# When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

# Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

# Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

# Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

# Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

# Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.

# Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

# Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

# Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

# Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
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"I don't want to kill everyone." (Al Pacino in "The God Father 2" – 1974)

That is the only Pacino quote on his list?? What about "Say hello to my little friend." Chuck's list sucks...
Old 08-08-07, 03:37 PM
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Originally Posted by taffer
"I don't want to kill everyone." (Al Pacino in "The God Father 2" – 1974)

That is the only Pacino quote on his list?? What about "Say hello to my little friend." Chuck's list sucks...
I don't even remember that quote. Shouldn't it be "I don't want to wipe everybody out, Tom. Just my enemies." ???

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