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Edited for TV lines, that are better/funnier than the original?

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Edited for TV lines, that are better/funnier than the original?

Old 10-12-06, 12:19 PM
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Edited for TV lines, that are better/funnier than the original?

To you, what are some edited for TV lines, that are funnier/better than the original line? I'm not just talking about unintentionally funny lines, I'm talking about edited for TV lines, that you generally feel are truly better/funnier.

Two that I can think of right now are:

National Lampoon's Vacation: "Fuck your momma" becomes "Who do I look like, Christopher Columbo.?"


The Wizard: "I'm gonna sue your ass when this is over" becomes "I'm gonna sue you all when this is over"

For some reason, Putnam saying he's gonna sue "everybody" is a little funnier to me, than just talking about Beau Bridges.
Old 10-12-06, 12:24 PM
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Almost anything from scarface....


When did you get that cut on your lip? Eating P***y

becomes Eating pineapple?

lesbian becomes looney tunes.... many more
Old 10-12-06, 12:27 PM
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During Walter's car-smashing rampage in The Big Lebowski, the infamous lines "This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!" and "Do you see what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass?" are substituted for "when you find a stranger in the Alps" and "when you fix a stranger scrambled eggs".

Say that three times fast!
Old 10-12-06, 12:35 PM
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my fave is:

"Your mother sews socks in hell" ("Your mother sucks cocks in hell" - The Exorcist)

it's not better, it's just a hell of alot funnier.
Old 10-12-06, 12:40 PM
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http://forum.dvdtalk.com/showthread.php?t=274809

http://forum.dvdtalk.com/showthread.php?t=222220

Last edited by devilshalo; 10-12-06 at 12:42 PM.
Old 10-12-06, 12:45 PM
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Old 10-12-06, 12:53 PM
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Repo Man on TV:

"Mother fucker" becomes "melon farmer".

Perfect!
Old 10-12-06, 01:16 PM
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Yippeee kai-yay Mr. Falcon!!!
Old 10-12-06, 01:37 PM
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Originally Posted by sundog
Repo Man on TV:

"Mother fucker" becomes "melon farmer".

Perfect!
Jules: Now I want you to go into that bag and find my wallet.
Ringo: Which one is it?
Jules: It’s the one that says, “Bad Melon Farmer.”
Old 10-12-06, 01:46 PM
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Old 10-12-06, 01:47 PM
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Originally Posted by CitizenY
Almost anything from scarface....


When did you get that cut on your lip? Eating P***y

becomes Eating pineapple?

lesbian becomes looney tunes.... many more
"Fuck. You."
"Fuck you."

"Fuck. You."
"Drop dead."

Old 10-12-06, 02:11 PM
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Yippie Ki Yi Yah Mellon Farmer
Old 10-12-06, 07:46 PM
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Originally Posted by sundog
Repo Man on TV:

"Mother fucker" becomes "melon farmer".

Perfect!
What makes this change even funnier is that the line is said to a person of Hispanic descent. So melon farmer becomes a derogatory remark.

Priceless!
Old 10-12-06, 09:57 PM
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I wonder if the censors make some lines really bad on purpose, like with using totally different voices, for ridiculous lines, to make themselves and the audience laugh.
Old 10-12-06, 11:33 PM
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Mallrats:

T.S. Quint: Jesus, how much did you smoke?
Jay: All it took was a phat, chronic blunt. These guys were lightweights.

T.S. Quint: Jesus, how much did you smoke?
Jay: All it took was a phat, karate punch. These guys were lightweights.

Also, in the scene where Quint and Hamilton are waiting outside the elevator containing Brodie and Rene having at it:

Hamilton: I thought you said she was going up.
Quint: Maybe she was going down.

Hamilton: I thought you said she was going up.
Quint: Maybe she was going up.

That's just brilliant.
Old 10-13-06, 12:12 AM
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in pulp fiction, after marvin gets shot in the face, the screen cuts to black with another actor saying the line "oh man I shot marvin in the face" made me laugh. Also in the next scene on the tv version was the Jimmie scene. "It aint the coffee jules, its the dead n***er in my garage (that must have slipped the censors) Don't you realize that if bonnie comes home and finds a dead body in the house I'm gonna get divorce, I'm going to get damn divorced and I don't want to get damn divorced"
Old 10-13-06, 01:09 AM
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I don't know if it's funny or just plain sad....
Do you guys actually watch movies on tv and accept this crap?
Old 10-13-06, 01:23 AM
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I've seen movies on TV where they were just too lazy to have edited lines and the sound just goes to silent every time they swear.
Old 10-13-06, 01:39 AM
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Originally Posted by Gunde
I don't know if it's funny or just plain sad....
Do you guys actually watch movies on tv and accept this crap?
Alot of times, I'll do it just to laugh at all of hte bad edits. for instance in the desert scene in casino goes like this with a peci line "who the (in a different tone of voice but peci's voice) freak do you think you are you jew money lover you".
Also in Mallrats, most if not all of Jay's lines are done by a different actor (because of the drug and or lanugage.
Old 10-13-06, 01:58 AM
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Back in the pre-DVD days they'd show Blazing Saddles on tv and insert a horse whinny over the swear words. I thought it was funnier than the actual words.
Old 10-13-06, 02:16 AM
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That Blazing Saddles one is actually kind of in line with something that Mel Brooks might do.

Originally Posted by Randy Miller III
During Walter's car-smashing rampage in The Big Lebowski, the infamous lines "This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!" and "Do you see what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass?" are substituted for "when you find a stranger in the Alps" and "when you fix a stranger scrambled eggs".

Say that three times fast!
This one, by far, wins as the most bizarre and surreal edit, especially given the context of the scene.
Old 10-13-06, 02:43 AM
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I remember on one of the TV versions of BTTF, Biff calls Marty a "Bitch", without the "son of a". Now that's pretty funny.

Also, this isn't a line I like better, but it's pretty funny, I thought I'd mention it. In Jaws 3, a guy offscreen says "Boy is he gonna be pissed". That is changed to an old sounding man saying "Boy is he going to be peed." I don't know if that TV version of Jaws 3 is still around. I remember it from a long, long time ago.

Last edited by Yeti4623; 10-13-06 at 02:50 AM.
Old 10-13-06, 12:30 PM
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Originally Posted by RichC2
Yippie Ki Yi Yah Mellon Farmer
In the UK they changed it to Yippie Ki Yay Kemosabe (all the overdubs were in an English accent as well!! Also the original UK VHS version of 48 Hours had every swear word over dubbed, in fact the one they showed on TV was closer to the real version then the tape! The cover even had Eddie Murphy holding a closed fist rather than flipping the bird!
Old 06-28-08, 12:20 PM
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Thought I'd bump this.
Old 06-28-08, 12:49 PM
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I guess I'll add some new material then. One of the worst dubs ever:

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/WAVx8whgwng&hl=en"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/WAVx8whgwng&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

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