uwe boll wants to kick your ass
 

i love this.


Dr. Uwe Boll has had enough! Uwe Boll’s position is "I am fed up. I’m fed up with people slamming my films on the Internet without see them. Many journalists make value judgments on my films based on the opinions of one or two thousand Internet voices. Half of those opinions come from people who’ve never watched my films. I have been told that BLOODRAYNE has a very bad IMDb rating, but how many of those votes of zero were made before the movie appeared in theatres." The criticism goes on and on.

Uwe is now challenging the critics that failed to watch his films prior to reviewing or commenting, “TO PUT UP OR SHUT UP!” Towards the end of the filming of the POSTAL the 5 most outspoken critics will be flown into Vancouver and supplied with hotel rooms. As a guest of Uwe Boll they will be given the chance to be an extra / stand-in in POSTAL and have the opportunity to put on boxing gloves and enter a BOXING RING to fight Uwe Boll. Each critic will have the opportunity to bring down Uwe in a 10 bout match. There will be 5 matches planned over the last two days of the movie. Certain scenes from these boxing matches will become part of the POSTAL movie. All 5 fights will be televised on the internet and will be covered by international press.
To be eligible you must be a critic who has posted on the internet or have written in magazines / newspapers at least two extremely negative articles in the year 2005. Critics of 2006 will not be considered. Please submit proof of your negative reviews & comments via e-mail to: [email protected].

POSTAL SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Worst movie ever!!!

I...uh...what?

doesn't Uwe ever learn - please stop directing...

What. The. Hell.

What a crybaby....

Uwe very well could kick their asses, I remember reading that he used to be a boxer...but this doesn't prove anything. If he wins does he get to say "I told you so! I told you that my movies were good!", simply because he can win a fight?

:lol: WTF?

Also, this is his way of generating publicity? Of drawing MORE attention to the fact that everybody absolutely HATES his films?

Yeah, and I want to kick his ass! -ptth-




No wonder people bash his movies before seeing them. With filmmaking like this, I can almost guarantee that Postal will suck!

You know, in the DDD sale threads that have like a billion posts, I'm pretty sure I saw BloodRayne and Alone in the Dark as titles people were actually willing to buy. Scary.

I want to go there wearing a t-shirt that says:

"I AM TO BOXING WHAT UWE BOLL IS TO DIRECTING"

And then proceed to get my ass handed to me to prove my point. :)

^ rotfl

Yes! How do I get a quick "outspoken critic" recommendation?! I wanna go play...and kick his ass for the time it took me to watch Bloodrayne. (minus the 12 seconds of Kristiana nudity, of course...)

...I actually had to go look up Postal. Gary Coleman?! WTF?!

I just don't get this guy. As far as I know he's made 3 "hollywood" movies--House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark and Bloodrayne and all 3 of those rank in imdb's bottom 100. Of course Uwe says those rankings are flawed, but nevertheless. How does this guy still get work? Do his movies make money on dvd or something? I hope so because they sure don't make any money at the box office. According to boxofficemojo House of the Dead cost $12 million not including marketing and it took in $13 million worldwide. Alone in the Dark cost $20 million not including marketing and took in $8 million worldwide. Finally, Bloodrayne cost $25 million not including marketing and took in $3 million worldwide. Each one of his movies cost more than the previous one and each one took in less than the previous one. How in the world can this guy have 4 movies currently in production and how could his next movie (In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale) have a cast that includes John Rhys-Davies, Ray Liotta, Matthew Lillard, Leelee Sobieski, Burt Reynolds, Ron Perlman and Claire Forlani? Now, none of those people are Tom Cruise or anything but they are still name actors and actresses. Is there anybody out there that DOESN'T believe that his next 4 movies will suck just as much as his previous ones? What am I missing here?

In the Name of the King: Dungeon Siege has a 60 million dollar budget, so this will be interesting to see how he tries to say it made money after it bombs in theaters. He makes excuses and says that his films make money after DVD sales are added in and worldwide sales, which I kind of believe (but that doesn't mean his films are good). With a 60 million dollar budget, I don't think he'll make that money back, and I can't wait to see what happens.

At the very least, I think American studios will stop releasing his films theatrically, because it won't be worth it for them. I don't know why they haven't realized that yet. Or maybe they have...After all, does "Dungeon Siege" even have a US theatrical distributor yet?

This sounds just like middle schoolers. You make a joke towards the dumb bully, and he says he can kick your ass at wrestling.

I would probably get tired of all the bashing towards myself, but I wouldn't resort to doing stupid shit like this. I'd just keep on making shitty movies that somehow make money.

The productions are financed by German backers (under a law that allows failed films to be written off in taxes; hence the reason why he keeps getting financing). Simply distruibuting a film doesn't carry much risk at all for a studio, especially if they're not going to advertise it (a'la Bloodrayne).

Anyway, I've seen Uwe Boll in person, and the dude's pretty small. I'm not so sure this is a good idea...

-JP

Uwe will definitely kick some ass in the ring, he's a tough sumbitch. His movies still suck big green donkey dicks (as Mom would say).

It would still be funny to see Ebert in boxing trunks trying to fight him, so I am all for it!!!

Too bad I'm not more vocal or else I would attempt to apply for this. It seems weird that he wants to use boxing scenes in the movie Postal. Granted I never played the full version, but I just don't remember any part of the game really lending itself to that.

I've heard this before. But how does a business model of making movies for the sole purpose of tax write-offs turn a profit? I mean - after a string of bombs, I'm not so sure I would want to finance another Uwe Boll film just so I can get a deduction on my taxes!

Perhaps his next movie should be "Springtime for Hitler".


That had an unexpected double-meaning. :lol:

Wintertime for Poland and France...

Watch out Europe, we're going on tour!