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Top Ten Things Never Before Said By A "Star Wars" Character on David Letterman

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Top Ten Things Never Before Said By A "Star Wars" Character on David Letterman

Old 05-17-05, 11:32 PM
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Top Ten Things Never Before Said By A "Star Wars" Character on David Letterman

All done in costume...funny stuff


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Star Wars Top Ten List on David Letterman

Top Ten Things Never Before Said By A "Star Wars" Character

10. C-3PO: "May the Force be with the Miami Heat--daddy's got 20 large riding on them."

9. Storm Trooper: "Ask your doctor or pharmacist if Cialis is right for you."

8. Ewok: "Seacrest, out!"

7. Darth Maul: "The only good thing ever to come from planet Earth is fish sticks."

6. R2-D2: "I just hooked up backstage with an ice machine."

5. Imperial Guard: "The only people more powerful than I are Emperor Palpatine and Oprah."

4. Chewbacca: "We got spaceships and lightsabers, but nobody can find me a damn razor."

3. Jango Fett: "Let's put on some Al Jarreau so me and you can get freaky."

2. Tuscan Raider: "How bad is CBS screwed without 'Everybody Loves Raymond'?"

1. Darth Vader: "I once used the force to open a jar of Vlasic kosher pickles."
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Old 05-17-05, 11:49 PM
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Its kind of cool that they did a Star Wars theme, but I have not found letterman to be funny for a long time.
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Old 05-18-05, 10:49 AM
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That was one of the worst Darth Mauls I have seen.
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Old 05-18-05, 10:57 AM
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Wow, they seem to have gone through a lot of trouble putting that together... yet somehow forgot to bring teh funny.
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Old 05-18-05, 11:01 AM
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^ I agree. I know the Top 10 has been a staple of Dave's forever, but it's almost been that long since it was funny.
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Old 05-18-05, 11:41 AM
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Wow those are incredibly stupid.
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Old 05-18-05, 11:51 AM
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DUMB. But thanks for sharing, anything Star Wars it noteworthy this week...
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Old 05-18-05, 11:58 AM
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that was pretty bad....
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Old 05-18-05, 12:12 PM
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They're even worse when you're only reading them. At least hearing most of them in the "native tongue" made it a bit better.
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Old 06-10-05, 11:14 PM
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Originally Posted by Cameron
Top Ten Things Never Before Said By A "Star Wars" Character...

...4. Chewbacca: "We got spaceships and lightsabers, but nobody can find me a damn razor."...
This one about chewbacca is really stupid because if you know star wars (and I do,) when some wookies were captured by enemy forces they are turned into slave and shaved which makes them angry and strengthens thier bond with the captured comradeds and the wookie race then when they escape and returned to the wookie home world, after the celebrations and telling of the story. "the shaving of the wookie" is put into the ritual of wookie manhood ceremonies, so every manwookie adult (which chewbacca is) has been shaving before.
That all I have to say
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Old 06-10-05, 11:20 PM
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Originally Posted by Softkore
This one about chewbacca is really stupid because if you know star wars (and I do,) when some wookies were captured by enemy forces they are turned into slave and shaved which makes them angry and strengthens thier bond with the captured comradeds and the wookie race then when they escape and returned to the wookie home world, after the celebrations and telling of the story. "the shaving of the wookie" is put into the ritual of wookie manhood ceremonies, so every manwookie adult (which chewbacca is) has been shaving before.
That all I have to say
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Old 06-13-05, 06:12 AM
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Originally Posted by Softkore
This one about chewbacca is really stupid because if you know star wars (and I do,) when some wookies were captured by enemy forces they are turned into slave and shaved which makes them angry and strengthens thier bond with the captured comradeds and the wookie race then when they escape and returned to the wookie home world, after the celebrations and telling of the story. "the shaving of the wookie" is put into the ritual of wookie manhood ceremonies, so every manwookie adult (which chewbacca is) has been shaving before.
That all I have to say




I feel dumber for reading that
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Old 06-13-05, 08:09 AM
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Tough crowd....
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Old 06-13-05, 02:20 PM
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Originally Posted by Softkore
This one about chewbacca is really stupid because if you know star wars (and I do,) when some wookies were captured by enemy forces they are turned into slave and shaved which makes them angry and strengthens thier bond with the captured comradeds and the wookie race then when they escape and returned to the wookie home world, after the celebrations and telling of the story. "the shaving of the wookie" is put into the ritual of wookie manhood ceremonies, so every manwookie adult (which chewbacca is) has been shaving before.
That all I have to say
I suggest you send that to Letterman. I'm sure he'll issue an on-air apology.
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Old 06-14-05, 11:55 PM
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Pretty dry, but that's letterrman for ya
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Old 06-15-05, 01:17 AM
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Top One Thing Never Said Before By David Letterman:
1) Something Funny
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Old 06-15-05, 09:47 AM
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Old 06-15-05, 12:21 PM
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Originally Posted by Softkore
This one about chewbacca is really stupid because if you know star wars (and I do,) when some wookies were captured by enemy forces they are turned into slave and shaved which makes them angry and strengthens thier bond with the captured comradeds and the wookie race then when they escape and returned to the wookie home world, after the celebrations and telling of the story. "the shaving of the wookie" is put into the ritual of wookie manhood ceremonies, so every manwookie adult (which chewbacca is) has been shaving before.
That all I have to say
Shave me bald and spank me like a wookie, I have read 90% of the post ROTJ EU novels and this is news to me.
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Old 06-15-05, 12:27 PM
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Also, wasn't Chewie shaved in Shadows of the Empire to disguise himself as a Wookie bounty hunter? That didn't piss him off, if I recall right.
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Old 06-15-05, 02:42 PM
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Is it wrong that the dork in me wants to add the extra "e" at the end everytime someone types "Wookie"?
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Old 06-30-05, 11:24 PM
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Originally Posted by cactusoly
... but I have not found letterman to be funny for a long time.
I agree, I hardly watch him, but his interview with Lindsey Lohan last week and the 20 minutes prior to the interview was boring as hell.
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Old 06-30-05, 11:55 PM
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I found this really funny. I don't care what anyone else says.

oh, and who reads the Star Wars books anyway? REAL Star Wars fans would probably beat you up for reading that stupid trash. They are stains on the beauty that is star wars, they should all buuurrrrrnnnnn!

Last edited by muiaucht; 07-01-05 at 12:00 AM. Reason: accidental send
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