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"Worst Movie Ever" in production

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"Worst Movie Ever" in production

Old 04-20-05, 08:21 AM
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"Worst Movie Ever" in production

This parody is so dead on, I fully expect a studio to option it and start production:

Hollywood CA;Will Smith and Ben Affleck to star in “Worst Movie Ever Made”

As the pre-production notice for the upcoming Movie “Affirmative Action” was announced earlier this month, it is already garnering considerable buzz as being the worst movie ever made even though it’s initial production has not even started yet.

This week studio execs announced that Will Smith and Ben Affleck have signed on to be teamed up in the new film “Affirmative Action” due out sometime in 2006. The movie is described on IMDB.com as “A South Boston Cop and FBI agent - who both have different views on race - team to find a black soldier who goes A.W.O.L. after committing a crime.”

Anyone care to wager who going to portray the “South Boston Cop”? Gee! I wonder? I hope there are plenty of differences in race for them to riff on! I wonder what that’s going to be like. If it's anything like the racial barbs in Wild Wild West count me in! Coincidentally, you can also count me retarded.

Though no one doubts that this movie will surely rain shit on the nation’s theatres come 2006, many are contending that this project has the potential to be the worst popular movie of all time.

By simply comparing Smith and Affleck’s body of works, we can easily conclude that “Affirmative Action” will, no doubt, contain the following kernels of absolute shit:

Will Smith: saying “Aw Hell no!” no less then 23 times during the film.

Ben Affleck: doing that “acting” thing where he looks like he is asleep with his eyes open. (Mouth breathing and everything)

Will Smith: making fun of white people for being “un-cool”

Ben Affleck: being an un-cool White guy.

Will Smith: doing small mimicked dances to either, make fun of how stiff and rigid white people are, or to simply “Raise the roof" for himself no less then 9 times.

Ben Affleck: paying homage to his Boston roots by butchering a “Southie” Accent once again.

Will Smith: Saying “Oh no you didn’t” no less then 15 times.

Ben Affleck somehow referencing Carlton Fiske, Chowder, and the Kennedy’s in the same Sentence.

Will Smith failing miserably to escape being the Fresh Prince for 90 minutes.

Ben Affleck: "sort of grinning" no less then 58 times.

Ben Affleck: can assume that he will recieve 30 calls a day from Kevin Smith just to "See what old Ben is up to and if he has any work for him"

DJ Jazzy Jeff: will once again be credited as “Craft Services” (He will also take most of the food home)

We could assume all those with any Will Smith and Ben Affleck movie but given the limited plot information we can also predict the following:

Ben Affleck will drive a beat up old car that Will Smith will invariably make fun of. Like so:

Smith: This is your ride? (Removes shades)
Affleck: Yeah this is my caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Smith: Aw Hell No!

Smith will have an awkward first encounter with Affleck. Like so

Smith: I’m Agent (Douchebag) FBI. I’m here about-
Affleck: (interrupting in a very mannequin like fashion) I know who you aaaaare. Just stay outta my way
Smith: Oh no you didn’t
Affleck: Oh yes I did
Smith: Aw Hell no

Ben Affleck will have some kind of heart to heart with Smith. Probably talking about how they both came up on their own respective mean streets.

Smith: Well back in Philly I saw a lotta my friends get mixed up on the streets. So don’t lecture me about what’s right and wrong.

Affleck: I’ve been on da streets before. I know all abaaaaat it! You’re ok Philly. (Or whatever bullshit moniker is used)

Anyway you slice this movie up; it’s going to be a real pile of garbage with an annoying cross promotion from Burger King or Taco bell. (Maybe a tie in with Doritos)

So have fun and don’t say I didn’t warn you. I’m already giving this movie 5 Un-stars. That means that this will be the first movie you’ll ever see where you feel you have had stars taken from you as you watch.


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Old 04-20-05, 08:24 AM
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Funny article.
Old 04-20-05, 08:29 AM
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I'll be first in line, no seriously, AFFLECK WAS IS DA BOMB YO!
Old 04-20-05, 08:47 AM
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Lamest article ever.
Old 04-20-05, 08:59 AM
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Originally Posted by Turd Ferguson
DJ Jazzy Jeff: will once again be credited as “Craft Services” (He will also take most of the food home)
Aw hell no, what did Jazzy do to deserve that slam?
Old 04-20-05, 09:30 AM
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I thought that was the title of the movie. "Worst Movie Ever".
Old 04-20-05, 12:47 PM
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There's a reason this isn't on a real humor site... It's not funny.
Old 04-20-05, 12:53 PM
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Originally Posted by The Bus
There's a reason this isn't on a real humor site... It's not funny.
What is the certification process to be a "real" humor site? Some of their stuff falls flat, but some is great.
Old 04-20-05, 01:19 PM
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That would be sweet if someone had the balls to make a movie titled "Worst Movie Ever Made." Have insane car chases/gun fights for no reason, scantly clad/nude women for no reason. A couple of hot stars of the moment. Complete with bad acting, piss poor dialog and worse editing. Thow in all kinds of movie cliches.

Sounds like a film Michael Bay should helm.

No critic could really bash the film since it is titled "worst movie ever made." I can smell the money rolling in.
Old 04-20-05, 01:35 PM
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Yeah i too was thinking the movie was called "Worst Movie Ever"...that woulda been cool.

And i like the idea of the name "Worst movie ever" and then the movie being bad...it would be great to see how critics would come up with creative ways to bash the movie without resorting to "the name of this movie is very fitting".
Old 04-20-05, 02:08 PM
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Old 04-20-05, 04:15 PM
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Summary:

"I hate Will Smith and Ben Affleck, so upon reading they would be doing a movie together I decided to list all the cliches I have noticed about these two actors."

Basically the guy has deemed this movie would suck simply based on the two leads and selected portions of their past work. And maybe it will suck. But I don't find anything particularly awful about the premise. It's not amazing or anything, either, but it doesn't have that stench of "Why the hell are they making this?" like some announced films do. As for his humor, some of it is mildly amusing in an obvious sort of way, but some of it really doesn't fit.

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