ALONE IN THE DARK review thread...
01-27-05, 12:19 PM
#1
Needs to contact an admin about multiple accounts
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 2,730
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
ALONE IN THE DARK review thread...
I know some of you will see the film this upcoming weekend. I would love to hear reactions.
Let the slaughter (?) begin...
Let the slaughter (?) begin...
01-27-05, 01:06 PM
#3
DVD Talk Hall of Fame
You put the question mark there as if there's a chance there won't be a slaughter. 
Anyway here's a "positive" review just to get things kicked off.
Sounds like a winner to me.
Anyway here's a "positive" review just to get things kicked off.
"Alone In The Dark" isn't going to set the world on fire, but it largely succeeds with what it has to work with. If you don't question it, can sit back and just enjoy the action, nice cinematography, and Christian Slater's performance, you will find a lot to commend in this otherwise train wreck. It's a fun ride that reminds you fondly of the game. Just don't take it seriously.
01-27-05, 03:00 PM
#6
DVD Talk Gold Edition
I watched it this morning and overall came out with the feeling that it is okay, nothing great, nor was it so bad I should have walked out.
The movie is based on an old native culture (Abskani) that believes two worlds inhabit our planet one of Light and one of Darkness. They find a way to open a gateway between the worlds, close it figuring out it wasn't a smart idea, and then mysteriously vanish forever.
A secret researcher has been collecting Abskani artifacts trying to piece back together a way to re-open the gateway, all the while doing terrible human experiments.
Enter Edward Carnby (Slater) who is an ex-paranormal government group recruit who can't remember details of a terrible experiance he had when he was 10. So now he is out on his own trying to unlock his past, and figure out what happened. His girlfriend (Reid) works for a museum that is doing a Abskani exhibit, and he brings back his latest find and they try to figure out what is going on.
There were some cool effects early in the movie, but by the halfway point they were replaced with scenes of blazing guns, and thumping rock. I had a wierd deja-vu during the film feeling that some of the scenes were exact copies of scenes in "The Relic". Light hearted horror, action thriller.
Edison's Scorecard:
Missed opportunities for a Tara Reid boob shot = 1
Number of times I felt "The Relic" deja-vu = 4
Number of times I thought of X-files/Stargate episodes = 3
Times I checked my watch to see what time it was = 1
Wondering if it has anything to do with the videogame = on going
Would I sit through it again = no, but I may re-watch "The Relic"
Overall ** out of ****
The movie is based on an old native culture (Abskani) that believes two worlds inhabit our planet one of Light and one of Darkness. They find a way to open a gateway between the worlds, close it figuring out it wasn't a smart idea, and then mysteriously vanish forever.
A secret researcher has been collecting Abskani artifacts trying to piece back together a way to re-open the gateway, all the while doing terrible human experiments.
Enter Edward Carnby (Slater) who is an ex-paranormal government group recruit who can't remember details of a terrible experiance he had when he was 10. So now he is out on his own trying to unlock his past, and figure out what happened. His girlfriend (Reid) works for a museum that is doing a Abskani exhibit, and he brings back his latest find and they try to figure out what is going on.
There were some cool effects early in the movie, but by the halfway point they were replaced with scenes of blazing guns, and thumping rock. I had a wierd deja-vu during the film feeling that some of the scenes were exact copies of scenes in "The Relic". Light hearted horror, action thriller.
Edison's Scorecard:
Missed opportunities for a Tara Reid boob shot = 1
Number of times I felt "The Relic" deja-vu = 4
Number of times I thought of X-files/Stargate episodes = 3
Times I checked my watch to see what time it was = 1
Wondering if it has anything to do with the videogame = on going
Would I sit through it again = no, but I may re-watch "The Relic"
Overall ** out of ****
01-27-05, 03:27 PM
#7
DVD Talk Platinum Edition
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: WV
Posts: 3,178
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
I like Christian Slater, so I may give this one a chance when the DVD comes out. Also, I liked Pitch Black a lot, but the Alone in the Dark trailer looked a little too similar to PB.
01-27-05, 03:30 PM
#8
DVD Talk Limited Edition
Originally Posted by Obey The D
"Even I thought this movie blew"
-David Manning, Ridgefield Press
-David Manning, Ridgefield Press
01-27-05, 04:01 PM
#10
DVD Talk Ultimate Edition
Join Date: Dec 1999
Posts: 4,551
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
These reviews are somewhat disapointing. I seriously doubt Boll will ever make a movie that's good, but I was fearful he'll make a better movie than his last, which means it'll be Paul Anderson mediocre, and not the camp classic awfulness that is the bad movie masterpiece HoTD.
So, honestly, I'm hoping this movie is as terrible as HoTD. I'd prefer that over another boring, derivative horror action movie. Uwe Boll's HoTD is one of the god damn funniest pieces of trash I've ever seen.
So, honestly, I'm hoping this movie is as terrible as HoTD. I'd prefer that over another boring, derivative horror action movie. Uwe Boll's HoTD is one of the god damn funniest pieces of trash I've ever seen.
01-27-05, 06:26 PM
#12
DVD Talk Special Edition
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Thoradin
Posts: 1,468
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Sliced into pieces by the New York Times
Cue-card readings? OOOOH. 
"Alone in the Dark" looks as though it had been thrown into a shredder and randomly reassembled. For reputable actors like Mr. Slater and Mr. Dorff, it is an embarrassment that smacks of career desperation, but at least they hold their own. About Ms. Reid's clumsy cue-card readings, the less said the better.
In the language of metacritic.com, a Web site that translates critical assessments into numerical grades, I give "Alone in the Dark" a zero.
In the language of metacritic.com, a Web site that translates critical assessments into numerical grades, I give "Alone in the Dark" a zero.
01-27-05, 07:09 PM
#13
DVD Talk Legend
Originally Posted by cungar
This is based on the old computer game right? As I recall the main character was an English bloke with a handlebar mustache. It had these really odd graphics.
01-27-05, 08:08 PM
#14
DVD Talk Limited Edition
So do you hear Nightwish's "Wish I had an Angel" anywhere in the film?
01-28-05, 03:46 AM
#18
DVD Talk Godfather
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: City of the lakers.. riots.. and drug dealing cops.. los(t) Angel(e)s. ca.
Posts: 54,199
Likes: 0
Received 1 Like
on
1 Post
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/1000...e_in_the_dark/
"This horror film, spun off from an old Atari video game, is so inept on every level, you wonder why the distributor didn't release it straight to video, or better, toss it directly into the trash."
"This is jaw-dropping, awe-inspiring, 'I-can't- believe-someone- made-this-crap' badness we're dealing with."
"you need an actor who can make the words SOUND smart, and Reid won't be winning a Nobel Prize anytime soon (she's proof that alcohol kills brain cells … with a vengeance)."
"...asking the viewer to accept Tara Reid as a scientist is pure insanity, requiring a staggering leap of faith that I can't even begin to contemplate."
"There are some stupid films that rock, if you turn your brain off and enjoy them. Alone in the Dark isn't one of these, though it is very stupid."
"Saying Uwe Boll’s Alone in the Dark is better than his 2003 American debut House of the Dead is akin to praising syphilis for not being HIV."
"Actually has an entire group of adults call out to a lost comrade, 'Marco!' What does he expect the audience to do when they hear that? I mean, come on."
"This horror film, spun off from an old Atari video game, is so inept on every level, you wonder why the distributor didn't release it straight to video, or better, toss it directly into the trash."
"This is jaw-dropping, awe-inspiring, 'I-can't- believe-someone- made-this-crap' badness we're dealing with."
"you need an actor who can make the words SOUND smart, and Reid won't be winning a Nobel Prize anytime soon (she's proof that alcohol kills brain cells … with a vengeance)."
"...asking the viewer to accept Tara Reid as a scientist is pure insanity, requiring a staggering leap of faith that I can't even begin to contemplate."
"There are some stupid films that rock, if you turn your brain off and enjoy them. Alone in the Dark isn't one of these, though it is very stupid."
"Saying Uwe Boll’s Alone in the Dark is better than his 2003 American debut House of the Dead is akin to praising syphilis for not being HIV."
"Actually has an entire group of adults call out to a lost comrade, 'Marco!' What does he expect the audience to do when they hear that? I mean, come on."
Last edited by Jackskeleton; 01-28-05 at 03:48 AM.
01-28-05, 07:33 AM
#21
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 128
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Originally Posted by Jackskeleton
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/1000...e_in_the_dark/
"...asking the viewer to accept Tara Reid as a scientist is pure insanity, requiring a staggering leap of faith that I can't even begin to contemplate."
"...asking the viewer to accept Tara Reid as a scientist is pure insanity, requiring a staggering leap of faith that I can't even begin to contemplate."
"Saying Uwe Boll’s Alone in the Dark is better than his 2003 American debut House of the Dead is akin to praising syphilis for not being HIV."
01-28-05, 08:44 AM
#23
Needs to contact an admin about multiple accounts
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 2,730
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Originally Posted by Geofferson
My local paper (Mpls Star Tribune) gave it 0 stars.
A rare moment of clarity from those idiots.
01-28-05, 09:17 AM
#24
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Cleveland, OH
Posts: 869
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Here's the (Cleveland) Plain Dealer review:
http://www.cleveland.com/filmreviews...0847185441.xml
The opening line of the review:
"The new year is only 1 month old and already we have a strong candidate for worst movie of 2005."
http://www.cleveland.com/filmreviews...0847185441.xml
The opening line of the review:
"The new year is only 1 month old and already we have a strong candidate for worst movie of 2005."
01-28-05, 12:56 PM
#25
DVD Talk Legend
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 12,008
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Originally Posted by Jackskeleton
"Actually has an entire group of adults call out to a lost comrade, 'Marco!' What does he expect the audience to do when they hear that? I mean, come on."
Outstanding.