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Slinky: The Movie / Apparently the end is closer than I thought

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Slinky: The Movie / Apparently the end is closer than I thought

Old 01-04-04, 02:21 PM
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Slinky: The Movie / Apparently the end is closer than I thought

It looks as though I will have to alter my list of "Film Related Signs of the Apocalypse" After reading this; (from CHUD)



Sometimes you read a planned film project that just seems so completely asinine that it bears mentioning. Actually¡K that happens all too often.

Anyway, it seems there are a couple of studios interested in distributing a computer-animated feature based on that vaguely phallic childhood "toy", the Slinky.

Yes, a spring, a spring, a marvelous thing, everyone knows it's Slinky.

The makers of the thing have somehow convinced themselves and others that a film revolving around a length of metal coil is a suitable investment. "We are creating a completely imaginary, full world all based on the Slinky," says the film's director Henrique Vera-Villanueva. "The main character is a big Indiana Jones-type Slinky."

Please go back and read that again. Then toss that "brilliant idea for a movie" you had right into the shredder, as it apparently won't do you any good.


Sad that it has come to this.


List of film related signs of the apocalypse.

X Star Wars Prequels not too good.

X Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez star in movie together.

X Jackass the movie and The Real Cancun.

X American Pie 3 deemed Best of them all.

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez become "Comedy duo of the new Millenia" This one is open to interpretation.

Katherine Hepburn Digitally added to new Porno series. First title "On Golden Pond"

Peter Jackson films new STAR STUDDED The Hobbit with new pal Jerry Bruckheimer. Promises really big explosions and kickin Aerosmith tunes.

Sylvester Stallone reaches new Golden Era of his career, promises to make only comedies.

Thanks to new surgery, Jim Carrey starts talking from his but, for real!

Peter Jackson, Unhappy with Original LOTR decides to make LOTR Special Edition; claims, I always meant to have Smurfs in the movie, but until now the technology couldnt accomplish it.

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez in bizarre accident, the two can only be saved with risky new surgery. A Nation says "huh?"

New Law decreed that all films will hence star Bennifer Loffleck!

Work begins on Star Wars Episode 7
Old 01-04-04, 06:13 PM
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1. Your "Signs of the Apocalypse" aren't funny

2. I would see a movie about Slinky

3. This sounds like BS. Link?
Old 01-04-04, 07:13 PM
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I actually saw this story on MSN. I read it just briefly, but if memory serves correct, I believe that Pixar will be doing it. Just go to today's MSN news and/or entertainment stories. It should be in there. Sorry, but too lazy to research for a link.
Old 01-04-04, 08:07 PM
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I think this is a smart decision. Market research shows that everyone loves a Slinky.
Old 01-04-04, 08:50 PM
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Originally posted by Pants
1. Your "Signs of the Apocalypse" aren't funny

2. I would see a movie about Slinky

3. This sounds like BS. Link?
I agree with all points. Bring on the Slinky movie!
Old 01-04-04, 09:26 PM
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Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez!!!1!! LOL :: I hate them so much. Gigllei!!! haha Wut a Bad movie! Rotlfl
Old 01-04-04, 09:30 PM
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I found the poster. 2005 release date.
Old 01-04-04, 09:50 PM
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http://www.usatoday.com/life/movies/...ky-movie_x.htm

Next toy story: Animated 'Slinky'
By Andy Seiler, USA TODAY

It's Slinky! Sure, we all know who walks the stairs without a care and shoots so high in the sky. But can a toy that bounces up and down just like a clown make the grade as movie-star material?

It rolls down stairs and into the cineplex: Two studios are said to be interested in doing an animated movie about Slinkys.
Saltzman Communications

Former Venezuelan child star Henrique Vera-Villanueva thinks so. Vera-Villanueva, the president and CEO of H2V Entertainment, is directing a CGI-animated feature tentatively titled Slinky: The Magic Quilt.

"We are creating a completely imaginary, full world all based on the Slinky," says Vera-Villanueva, who adds that two studios are interested in distributing his film, to be finished in 2005 for the 60th anniversary of Slinky's introduction. "It's a bunch of characters, some of them new, such as the Slinky scarecrow and the Slinky robot, some based on the property known as the Slinky Pets.

"The main character is a big Indiana Jones-type Slinky," says Vera-Villanueva, whose idol is director Tim Burton. "This character is on an adventurous quest, but it's a character-driven film, like Ice Age."

But how do you make a toy that is basically just a long coil wire into a full-length movie? "We're using bigger Slinkys, small Slinkys," he says. "The coil is not going to be in the same place in all the animals." But even with the changes, he assures us, everyone will know it's Slinky.
Old 01-05-04, 02:17 AM
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Bah - stupid Hollywood Marketing! They bring us this crap when they sit on a goldmine of a property in Hungry Hungry Hippos: The Movie!

Disgusted, I tell you.


***EDIT***

No, wait - I've changed my mind. Give me Log: The Movie, and I would pay some SERIOUS money to see it!

It's log, it's Log! It's big! It's Heavy! It's Wood!

It's log, it's Log! It's better than bad - It's good!


Last edited by El-Kabong; 01-05-04 at 02:25 AM.
Old 01-05-04, 02:27 AM
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I'd watch this, if Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez were involved.
Old 01-05-04, 10:17 AM
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This just in: major Hollywood studios to build new facilities in Afghanistan, and will partner with Church Of Satan for record-breaking promotional deals.
Old 01-05-04, 12:22 PM
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Originally posted by El-Kabong
Bah - stupid Hollywood Marketing! They bring us this crap when they sit on a goldmine of a property in Hungry Hungry Hippos: The Movie!

Disgusted, I tell you.
Scary thing, I was going to make the same joke.

Perhaps we'll see the adult film drama: Monopoly. A tale of corporate greed and scandal.

Starring:

Robert Deniro as "That Monopoly character"
Vin Diesel as "The Electric Company caretaker"
and Elle MacPherson as "The Beauty Content Winner"
Old 01-05-04, 12:25 PM
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Well, on it's own the Slinky idea kind of sucks...but it's also got a magic quilt. That's right, a magic quilt. I dare you to keep kids away from this one!
Old 01-05-04, 02:20 PM
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Originally posted by DGibFen

and Elle MacPherson as "The Beauty Contest Winner"
I'd give her $10
Old 01-05-04, 02:23 PM
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Originally posted by El-Kabong
Bah - stupid Hollywood Marketing! They bring us this crap when they sit on a goldmine of a property in Hungry Hungry Hippos: The Movie!

Disgusted, I tell you.
Just wait until I unveil my 8 hour mega opus based on that very subject (giving two hours to each hippo, of course).
Old 01-05-04, 04:09 PM
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Originally posted by El-Kabong
Bah - stupid Hollywood Marketing! They bring us this crap when they sit on a goldmine of a property in Hungry Hungry Hippos: The Movie!

You mean this?

Old 01-05-04, 04:10 PM
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Originally posted by DGibFen
Robert Deniro as "That Monopoly character"
He has a name, you know: Uncle Moneybags.

Yet, all the money in Atlantic City couldn't buy what he really wanted: a Magic Quilt.
Old 01-06-04, 04:13 AM
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I just want to know one thing...



How in the heck is a slinky phallic?!
Old 01-06-04, 06:47 PM
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You know after some thought, this could work out. Just imagine the cool game based movies this could spawn -

* Don't Break The Ice: Chilling Fallout
* Candyland: The Sweet-tooth Mysteries
* Operation: Mis-adventures in Surgery
* Chutes and Ladders: The Adventure Begins
* Clue (Um. . . wait - that's already been done)

Yeah, this has potential!
Old 01-08-04, 11:31 AM
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Originally posted by El-Kabong
You know after some thought, this could work out. Just imagine the cool game based movies this could spawn -

* Don't Break The Ice: Chilling Fallout
* Candyland: The Sweet-tooth Mysteries
* Operation: Mis-adventures in Surgery
* Chutes and Ladders: The Adventure Begins
* Clue (Um. . . wait - that's already been done)

Yeah, this has potential!
Chutes and Ladders! Now thats a movie I'd pay to see. Imagine the excitement as our heroes continuously fall down chutes and climb ladders.

Sounds exhilerating.
Old 01-08-04, 11:35 AM
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Originally posted by Grouch094820 & 5/17
He has a name, you know: Uncle Moneybags.

Yet, all the money in Atlantic City couldn't buy what he really wanted: a Magic Quilt.
Is he Moneybags or Pennypags? I've seen him listed both ways.

Either way, this movie sounds for for a girl or a boy!
Old 01-08-04, 06:16 PM
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Originally posted by majorjoe23
Is he Moneybags or Pennypags? I've seen him listed both ways.

Either way, this movie sounds for for a girl or a boy!
As far as I know, he's Moneybags in regular Monopoly, and Pennybags in the kids Monopoly, where the highest demonination of money is $20 or something.

And I liked Clue, dammit!

to Chutes And Ladders. It could be like Cube.

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