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Cat in the Hat...Dieter's Revenge?

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Cat in the Hat...Dieter's Revenge?

Old 11-19-03, 08:15 PM
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Cat in the Hat...Dieter's Revenge?

This is a fairly convoluted conspiracy theory, but hear me out. As I was sitting through yet another horrible commercial tie in ad peppered with bad Seuss-speak, I started wondering something. I was puzzled why a talented actor like Mike Myers wanted to be in Imagine Entertainment's Cat in the Hat. I mean, I know he's been in bad movies before, but this one has even less to fill out a feature than The Grinch. And after all, didn't Myers famously pull out of a film version of Sprockets because the script wasn't any good? And didn't he even get sued by the producer who just happened to be...Imagine Entertainment? Is it possible that Myers agreed to this film as part of the settlement to that suit? Perhaps he found this dreck preferable to sullying one of his own creations. Admittedly, I haven't seen the film and this is all speculation. I welcome any thoughts on the subject.
Old 11-19-03, 08:18 PM
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After watching the trailer, I can't wait to see this. It looks hilarious.

But they're really going way too far with all the commercial tie-ins.

Rob
Old 11-19-03, 09:28 PM
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There have been many movies I've wondered about if they were a punishment of some sort for the actor to appear in. Such as Quigley with Gary Busey. You can't expect me to believe that's not comminity service being served for a DWI or something.
Old 11-19-03, 09:55 PM
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I agree. This movie is not classy enough for a man who has brought us such incredible characters as Shrek, Wayne, and Austin Powers.
Old 11-19-03, 10:25 PM
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Originally posted by RyoHazuki7
I agree. This movie is not classy enough for a man who has brought us such incredible characters as Shrek, Wayne, and Austin Powers.
*zing!*
Old 11-19-03, 10:43 PM
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Looks like trash

It so sad what they are doing to Dr. Seuss' legacy!!!! I hated "The Grinch"(I usually don't say that about many movies), and I know that "The Cat in the Hat" will suck as well. Originally, Tim Allen was suppose to play the cat, and I thought that that would have been a much better call. He seems to know what audience he is gearing towards. Did anyone read the article today in the L.A. Times about the movie? Brian Grazer sounds like a complete jerk for basically forcing Dr. SEuss' widow to let him keep "potty humour" in the film. Ah....Brian......If you actually did this right, it could be a huge hit, but I'm watching it, and The Cat looks like he's on speed. he's bouncing off the walls, looking at nude photos..... and getting erections looking at photos of their mom? And this crap is rated PG? It also looks to much senosory overload. What these guys don't undrstand is that Less is indeed more. If your funny, you don't need to be crass or rude. Just look at Bill Cosby. That guy was so damn funny and he did it in mostly all good clean fun. A tough lesson, that Myers and company appear to have yet to learn.
Old 11-20-03, 12:03 AM
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The cat in the hat gets errections in the film?
Old 11-20-03, 12:07 AM
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Originally posted by BizRodian
The cat in the hat gets errections in the film?
It's only hinted; his hat extends. It's more a throwback to the Tex Avery Wolf, as far as I can see.
Old 11-20-03, 02:37 AM
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Now that you mention it, this IS the reason Myers is doing the film. I remember that he was sued by Bryan Grazer and Ron Howard for pulling out of the Schprocket's movie, which was already constructing sets and had a cast lined up. They were pretty pissed when Mike pulled out.

Then Mike sued them, because he claimed he was being harrassed and followed by Imagine Ent. baddies. I believe they came to an agreement for him to work on a future project of theirs, which would happen to be.....

The Cat in the Hat. Which looks awful.
Old 11-20-03, 04:55 AM
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He was probably swayed by the fact that he will make millions of dollars by the time this thing goes over $100M and sells a gazillion DVDs.

Sound logic on his part.
Old 11-20-03, 07:27 AM
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I saw a Cat in the Hat product tie in on diswasher soap. At first I thought the movie might be good, but from the clips I've seen it makes the cat out to be a maniac. Part of the appeal of the book is that the cat is so apologetic; there was no sarcasm at all. Another great literary character ruined by Hollywood. Nice work.
Old 11-20-03, 08:47 AM
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God this looks embarassingly bad. Did Myers learn nothing from Carey?
Old 11-20-03, 10:06 AM
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While I agree this movie looks to be pretty awful, I'm not sure this is the right forum. I could swear there was one called Movie Talk. My apologies if I am incorrect.

K
Old 11-20-03, 10:12 AM
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Originally posted by Cornelius1047
While I agree this movie looks to be pretty awful, I'm not sure this is the right forum. I could swear there was one called Movie Talk. My apologies if I am incorrect.

K
Isn't it obvious that they are discussing the unreleased DVD version of this unreleased film???

C'mon, Cornelius . . . get with the program . . .





Old 11-20-03, 10:23 AM
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check out rotten tomatoes, it is being universally panned so far.
Old 11-20-03, 12:47 PM
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Originally posted by jough
God this looks embarassingly bad. Did Myers learn nothing from Carey?
GRINCH cleared 340 million in worldwide box office, plus untold millions on home video.

Myers is doing the right thing. It may not tax his talent, but it will help his bankibility.
Old 11-20-03, 01:02 PM
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wow, am I the only who thought the thread title had something to do with how The Cat In The Hat would impact your diet somehow?
Old 11-20-03, 02:13 PM
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Originally posted by 12thmonkey
wow, am I the only who thought the thread title had something to do with how The Cat In The Hat would impact your diet somehow?
I thought the title was referring to Mike Myers getting fat...
Old 11-20-03, 03:43 PM
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Re: Cat in the Hat...Dieter's Revenge?

Originally posted by GlennS
This is a fairly convoluted conspiracy theory, but hear me out. As I was sitting through yet another horrible commercial tie in ad peppered with bad Seuss-speak, I started wondering something. I was puzzled why a talented actor like Mike Myers wanted to be in Imagine Entertainment's Cat in the Hat. I mean, I know he's been in bad movies before, but this one has even less to fill out a feature than The Grinch. And after all, didn't Myers famously pull out of a film version of Sprockets because the script wasn't any good? And didn't he even get sued by the producer who just happened to be...Imagine Entertainment? Is it possible that Myers agreed to this film as part of the settlement to that suit? Perhaps he found this dreck preferable to sullying one of his own creations. Admittedly, I haven't seen the film and this is all speculation. I welcome any thoughts on the subject.
This was the cover story on yesterdays LA Times Calandar section. The bottom line seemed to be that Grazier and Myers patched things up. That's the way it is in H'wood, if they're dangling this big a payday in front of you you'll work with the guy who raped your grandma and keyed your car. If Myers had agreed to appear in some kind of sure fire bomb I might buy your conspiracy theory, but this film (inexplicably) looks like it'll make a ton of dough.
Old 11-20-03, 04:50 PM
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^
Old 11-20-03, 04:55 PM
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Its going to suck. The Grinch was awful, Surely Mike could use his talents elsewhere. Why must the movie industry wreck classics!, Cinderella 2 god just when I thought I'd seen it all.
Old 11-20-03, 05:39 PM
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I think this "Cat" is Mike Myers' revenge on humanity as a whole, judging from the godawful promotion... Come to think of it, this is the kind of plan for world domination Dr. Evil would come up with, isn't it?
Old 11-20-03, 09:34 PM
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In case you haven't seen an actual review yet, here is one from scifidimensions

Sally (Dakota Fanning) and Conrad (Spencer Breslin) are two kids bored out of their skulls. Mom (Kelly Preston) has left them home alone all day with their narcoleptic babysitter, and they can't do anything really interesting because the house has to remain spotless for an important dinner party later that evening. They're even more miserable when they ponder the possibility that their mom could marry their obnoxious neighbor, Lawrence (Alec Baldwin), who is planting the notion in her head that Conrad would be better off in a military school.

Then - out of nowhere - appears a naughty six-foot talking cat: The Cat in the Hat! With a promise that they can have all the fun they want without suffering any ill effects, they're off and running. Unfortunately, things seem to go from bad to worse, and pretty soon it looks like there's no way the Cat can live up to his side of the bargain!

The Cat in the Hat is the second feature film based on a property created by the late, beloved Dr. Seuss (the first being the 2000 film The Grinch, starring Jim Carrey). Like The Grinch, The Cat seeks to flesh out a slim children's book written in rhyme into a believable, entertaining film that children and adults alike can enjoy.

The result is, quite frankly, an annoying film with a few really good jokes surrounded by lame, obnoxious padding. While other Seuss personalities like the Grinch and Horton the Elephant have readily identifiable and empathetic personalities, the Cat has always been something of a mystery. He's a mischievous imp - but why? He just shows up out of the blue and wreaks havoc. Mike Myers is burdened with creating a personality who really doesn't have a personality. His make-up is remarkable, but he sounds like a cross between Charles Nelson Reilly and the Cowardly Lion. Myers ends most of his punch lines by shouting "Oh, yeah!" (a cheap copy of his Austin Powers "Yeah, baby!") or with a wheezy Herman Munster laugh. That and all his near-camera finger twiddling become grating pretty fast.

The other adults in the film - Kelly Preston as the mother and Alec Baldwin as her sleazy neighbor/suitor - are generally nonentities. But Dakota Fanning and Spencer Breslin really carry this film. Unlike the Cat, the film fleshes them out as believable characters. Breslin's Conrad is the stereotypical troublesome little boy, and Fanning's Sally is the ultimate control freak, who uses a lime-green PDA to maintain a to-do list.

The Cat in the Hat flickers and flitters all over the place, with lots of action to little purpose. It earns a PG rating due to Myers' inability to "keep it clean". There are a handful of double entendres and naughty acronyms that many parents won't appreciate having to explain.

If you really have a hankering for Seuss this holiday season, go rent the slightly less mediocre Grinch - or better yet, rent the original Grinch cartoon from 1966, directed by Chuck Jones with the voice talent of the legendary Boris Karloff!

Our Rating: C
In case you had any hope . . . it doesn't look good . . .
Old 11-20-03, 10:23 PM
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http://www.criticdoctor.com/petersob...tinthehat.html

"Although I am certain that Universal Studios now regrets it with every fiber of their being, there is a moment in "The Cat in the Hat", the live-action adaptation of the classic Dr. Seuss story, that features a cameo appearance by none other than socialite/amateur filmmaker Paris Hilton. Frankly, it would be less damaging for both your children and yourself if you had them sit down and watch one of her videotapes than to go out and plunk down money to see this ugly, shrill monstrosity. Let me put it this way-when Hilton sits down to compile her filmography, I wouldn't be surprised to see that this-and not her home-made efforts-was the title that she decided to drop from her resume out of sheer embarrassment."
Old 11-21-03, 07:53 AM
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These scathing reviews were so funny on Rottontomatoes.com that I just had to share:

"Myers isn’t playing a character. He’s just doing comedy sketches in a strange costume and makeup while stealing Charles Nelson Reilly’s voice."
-- Jeffrey Westhoff, NORTHWEST HERALD (CRYSTAL LAKE, IL)

"Heinous."
-- Gregory Weinkauf, NEW TIMES

"Little more than an assaultive sequence of skits meant to showcase Mike Myers’ gifts as a rat-a-tat purveyor of impressions."
-- Ella Taylor, L.A. WEEKLY

"Get out the flatware, mother--the Thanksgiving turkey has arrived...a cruelly abrasive, dismally earthbound cat-cophony of sight and sound."
-- Frank Swietek, ONE GUY'S OPINION

"Unless you have children who have been especially naughty and who are in need of severe punishment, avoid this film like the plague and stick with the original book."
-- Peter Sobczynski, CRITIC DOCTOR

"How much cute can you stand when the laughs you expect aren't there?"
-- Chuck Schwartz, CRANKY CRITIC®

"It takes cinematic magic to entrance a child. There's nothing magical about this movie. I began wondering if the producers set out to torture their family audience."
-- Alex Sandell, JUICY CEREBELLUM

"Another Dr. Seuss classic gets the big-screen treatment ... and it's not that much of a treat."
-- James Rocchi, NETFLIX

"[a] kiddie-coated clunker...The Cat in the Hat has the numbing staying power of sniffing artificial catnip...is one flick that is neutered down in its hackneyed state of mind"
-- Frank Ochieng, THEWORLDJOURNAL.COM

"All the signs leading up to this were dire, but honestly, I tried to like it. I was ready to like it. I pumped myself up for it. No go. Disaster, disaster, disaster. Disaster."
-- Eugene Novikov, FILM BLATHER

"If you liked Death to Smoochy, you are going to love The Cat in the Hat."
-- Danny Minton, KBTV-NBC (BEAUMONT, TX)

"A disastrously misconceived confection that should easily neuter a few childhood memories. "
-- Ed Gonzalez, SLANT MAGAZINE


"Mike Myers’ companion piece to fellow Canadian Jim Carrey’s portrayal of the Grinch falls flat, goes splat and, quite honestly, ain't all that."
-- Ian Spelling, FILMSTEW.COM

"Bearing a slight, coincidental resemblance to a book by Dr. Seuss, The Cat in the Hat is an 82-minute advertisement for bodily functions."
-- Eric D. Snider, ERICDSNIDER.COM

"Another pre-packaged blockbuster that's all concept and no charm... Trust me, you'll love it. Everyone in marketing is certain of that. "
-- James Sanford, KALAMAZOO GAZETTE

"Diluted beyond the point of recognition."
-- Craig Roush, KINNOPIO'S MOVIE REVIEWS

"With the matted fur and white makeup, this Cat looks like a shirtless Robin Williams trying to do a dual impersonation of Paul Lynde and Grandpa Al Lewis."
-- Jon Popick, PLANET SICK-BOY

"Catastrophic."
-- Sean O'Connell, FILMCRITIC.COM

"Just plain awful."
-- Scott Nash, THREE MOVIE BUFFS

"What's next? Will the Sneetches get wild and crazy?
Will the Lorax get jiggy with Daisy-Head Mayzie?"
-- Steven D. Greydanus, DECENT FILMS GUIDE

"The final product, with the exception of pitch-perfect costume and set design -- is almost entirely unrecognizeable as something from the Seuss world."
-- Dan Fazio, CITYSEARCH

"For enduring this mess/ They should pay us a fee."
-- Chris Vognar, DALLAS MORNING NEWS

"Another over-blown Hollywood raid on Dr. Seuss."
-- Peter Travers, ROLLING STONE

"A vulgar, uninspired lump of poisoned eye candy that Universal has the temerity to call Dr. Seuss' The Cat in the Hat."
-- A.O. Scott, NEW YORK TIMES

"This is not The Cat in the Hat. This is kitty litter."
-- Carrie Rickey, PHILADELPHIA INQUIRER

"The movie is overproduced in every way but the most important one: Other than an occasional token rhyme, this Cat in the Hat lands flat-footed and with tin ear, drained of its essential Dr. Seussness."
-- Bruce Newman, SAN JOSE MERCURY NEWS

"As entertainment, Cat in the Hat is barely so-so."
-- Bob Longino, ATLANTA JOURNAL-CONSTITUTION

"A lackluster and nearly charmless affair."
-- Kirk Honeycutt, HOLLYWOOD REPORTER

"A holiday movie that makes the audience feel as if they're having the ultimate bad day at Disney World."
-- Owen Gleiberman, ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY

"If directing bad movies were a sin to confess, Bo Welch would say oops for making this mess."
-- Manohla Dargis, LOS ANGELES TIMES

""No doubt Myers's fans will find something to like, but others may find themselves quoting the good doctor: 'All we could do was to/ Sit! Sit! Sit! Sit!/ And we did not like it./ Not one little bit.'"
-- Gloria Goodale, CHRISTIAN SCIENCE MONITOR

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