Funniest thing I heard at the theater!
 

I was at Tomb Raider 2 last night (blah!) and this guy behind me, was giving his commentaries to his friend on all the trailers were shown....loud enough for everyone in four rows distance to hear.

His thoughts on "Master and Commander" the new Peter Weir movie staring Russell Crowe.

"It looks too dramatic, and it'll probably be loaded with violence, unbelievable special effects, and gratuitous sex. Why would I want to see a movie like that?"

And he paid money to see TOMB RAIDER 2!!!!

I don't judge other people's taste in movies, lest my own be judged, but dude, a little self awareness.

That and he proceeded to talk loudly through the first ten minutes of the movie till I psychically threatened him...and he shut up. That made me feel better.

Irony is a beautiful thing.

Well, he pretty much missed out on gratuitous sex by going to see Tomb Raider 2.

He must have been joking...

Way to shut up the loud movie talker. :thumbsup:

If I ever open up my own movie theater, clemente I am hiring you as the muscle to put those damn movie talkers in line. ;)

Heres one: On the opening night of Austin Powers 2, there was a mother behind me who brought her little boy. I'm guessing he was around 5 or 6 at the time. During the scene with Austin and the girl from 3rd Rock From The Sun; the little kid goes: "Mommy! Why are they doing that with the chess peices?!" And the mom said "They're playing the game like that son."

I thought it was pretty funny at the time. There were other parts of the movie where the little kid was saying stuff but I can't recall them right now.

If only I knew clemente was a movie bouncer sooner I would have employed him to do some Hulk Smash on a puny human sitting behind me during the Hulk. Maybe next time I guess! :)

There was this loud, middle age man at Seabiscuit that my friends and I nicknamed " Captain Exposition", because he had the habit of explaining the events on the screen to everyone in the theater. He informed us all when Seabiscuit won a race, even though we could clearly see it on the screen. McGuire's character carries around a sack containing his favorite childhood books. Every time the sack made an appearance, " Capt. Exposition " was kind enough to remind us that the sack had books in it. During one scene, a race car with the number 6 painted on its side was being pushed around. " Capt. Exposition " yells out " Number 6! That's Mark Martin's number! ".

When I saw Hook in the theater quite a few years ago, the picture and the sound kept taking turn going out. They shut off the projector, then restarted it several times. Then the curtains infront of the screen started to close and open and close and open...

A little boy (maybe 5 or 6) that was sitting in front of us with his older brother and his friends (I think he was having a b-day party) turned to his mom and said:

"For my birthday, I want to go to a real theater." :lol:

Every year for Christmas the town theater would show a Disney movie for free. Needless to say the theater would be packed full and every year, without fail, the movie would cut out, the picture would fade, or the sound would stop. So every year the kids in the theater would start the chant, "We want are money back! We want our money back!"

O.K., it was funny at the time, we were kids.

alright, the theater is packed for episode 1 opening weekend, we have all been sitting there packed in for about 25 min, when everything starts, cheers start, then when the prieviews a man stands up and shouts "enough of this s***, we want f***in star wars!!" (and this was in the middle of the day), and everyone kind of laughed and cheered at the same time

what Hulk Smash? :confused: clemente only "psychically " threatened him. My guess is that he squeezed his eyes shut and thought real angry thoughts at the dude behind him. :D

My girlfriend and I went to see Punch Drunk Love, and before the film there was a commercial (I hate dang commercials before a movie) for the "Coca Cola Racing Family", and after it was over some guy in the back said in the biggest redneck voice

"Yeah, c'mon!"

Needless to say, that ended up being the funniest part of the whole night b/c it was so random even the randomness of PT Anderson couldn't top it.

While I hate people that talk during a movie, I must admit that sometimes I get so frustrated with really, really bad movies that I'll make a MST3K-Style comment towards the screen.

Being as modest as possible, here's the two that got the biggest cheers from my fellow movie goers:

During Godzilla, they try to lure him out by piling up a bunch of fish on the streets of New York, to which I stated "This movie stinks!"

Recently, during The Hulk vs. The Hulk Dogs scene in that god-awful movie we got from Ang Lee this summer, I shouted out "This movie has gone to the dogs!"

Yeah, they were pretty juvinille comments...but then again, so were those silly films.

"That's gotta hurt" ~ George Costansa :rolleyes:

Damn, Mittman beat me to it.

One a side note, i <b>HATE</b> people who clap and cheer during a movie. Even though they're cheering and clapping because they're excited, it's still freaking annoying.

:up:

Yes, how dare they express their enjoyment in the movie like that!

I had a guy sitting behind me rip a loud fart right when the Jango Fett/Obi-Wan Fight was about to begin in Ep. 2.. I turned around made a "man, you suck" face at him and turned back and missed the first couple parts of it :(

Sorry, but you're an ahole :)

Quote:

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Recently, during The Hulk vs. The Hulk Dogs scene in that god-awful movie we got from Ang Lee this summer, I shouted out "This movie has gone to the dogs!"

---

:rolleyes:



Hulk has to fight Hulk dogs? SWEET!

1: the Hulk ruled
2: people who talk, make loud comments addressed to no one in particular, crinkle patato chip/candy or other food bags(brought from home) or crack open canned pop during a movie all SUCK.
3: if u want to cheer or clap, do it at the END of the movie... unless Jar Jar dies a horrible death early on in Episode 3, then cheering at that point is allowed... i mean, its not humanly possible to contain that kind of joy... :)

j

I went to see the first Lord of the Rings film with a friend of mine and his sister. As we were leaving the cinema after the film had finished she turned around asked him 'Was that based on a true story?'

Still makes me laugh everytime I think of it!

After you let her down easy about LOTR, go ahead and tell her there is no Blair Witch.