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-   -   ROFL!!! Jokes thread!! (Mature?) (https://forum.dvdtalk.com/key-thread-archive/127385-rofl-jokes-thread-mature.html)

Wazootyman 07-21-01 12:56 AM

ROFL!!! Jokes thread!! (Mature?)
 
What do you get when you combine the news and a paper??
Spoiler:
Newspaper!!!


Why don't airlines allow dogs to fly on their planes??
Spoiler:
Because they don't wanna have to keep giving out frequent "woof" miles


What is black and white?
Spoiler:
A Blackboard being drawn on!


Who was the most feared of all pirates?
Spoiler:
Blackbeard!


How many aliens does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Spoiler:
I dunno, you tell me, Mulder!


What's pink and panther shaped?
Spoiler:
An Insulation seller!


If you want anymore, I'd be very glad to post em!

vaporware 07-21-01 01:01 AM

I can honestly say that those are the worst jokes i've ever read. That's really bad considering i'm drunk right now.

McHawkson 07-21-01 01:08 AM

Are you on crack?!?

FREEJG 07-21-01 01:13 AM

LOL! Those jokes are great. I can't wait to tell all my friends! I especially like the Aliens one. Totally classic.

Actually, the funniest part is your (mature?) tag. I'm hysterical over here.

BigStinky 07-21-01 01:23 AM


Originally posted by vaporware
I can honestly say that those are the worst jokes i've ever read. That's really bad considering i'm drunk right now.
:)

Did you get those off a bubble gum wrapper?

ravan 07-21-01 02:28 AM

Those are HORRIBLE!!!

ClarkKentKY 07-21-01 02:58 AM

Who was the most feared of all pirates....
Blackbeard.... .... .... ..... ....

Yeah, then what!?!?!

... This reminds me of a Cosby episode. :)


Krusty the Clown: "Well Kent, i've found its not dirty words that get the biggest laugh, its words that SOUND dirty... like muckluck.... you like that, muckluck"

Hero 07-21-01 03:53 AM

ummm... those suck dude..

jfoobar 07-21-01 06:41 AM

What's black, white, and red and can't walk through a door?
Spoiler:
A nun with a spear through her head.

twikoff 07-21-01 06:55 AM

:rolleyes:

Brash 07-21-01 04:08 PM

What I don't get is how he could come up with such great material, and is not yet swimming through his riches (no doubt earned from his stand-up job) as if he were Scrooge McDuck. I hope you're smart enough to NOT put a big dollar sign on your money bin, like Scrooge did. What a fool. That's just an invitation to ALL the burglers in town, INCLUDING the Beagle Boys, to just steal all of your riches.

Boot 07-21-01 06:00 PM

I laughed. I cried. I fudged my undies.

twikoff 07-21-01 06:43 PM


Originally posted by Boot
I laughed. I cried. I fudged my undies.
:yack:

The Cow 07-21-01 06:57 PM

Gotta add one to the worlds worst jokes thread...

Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide...

AGuyNamedMike 07-21-01 07:01 PM


Originally posted by JustinS
What's black, white, and red and can't walk through a door?
Spoiler:
A nun with a spear through her head.

related riddle:

What's red, white, and silver and goes tink... tink?
Spoiler:
A baby with forks in his eyes bumping into the wall.

Kevin H 07-21-01 07:41 PM

Hmm these are the worst jokes I've ever heard.

jfoobar 07-21-01 08:45 PM

Why did the pervert cross the road?

Spoiler:
because his d!ck was stuck in the chicken.


Thanks folks! I'm here all week!

taliboubou 07-21-01 09:22 PM

How did Pinocchio find out he was made out of wood?
<table border="0"><tr><td bgcolor="#000000"><font face="verdana" size="2" color="#000000">His hand caught on fire!</font></td></tr></table>

BigStinky 07-21-01 10:49 PM

A guy walks into a bar

Spoiler:
"Ow!"

mjquilly 07-22-01 12:33 AM

why do women have babies?

Spoiler:
because it's painful and they deserve it

Three Day Delay 07-22-01 12:37 AM


Originally posted by JustinS
What's black, white, and red and can't walk through a door?
Spoiler:
A nun with a spear through her head.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.........you just made me go to the restroom prematurely.

smclucas 07-22-01 09:02 AM

What's more enjoyable than losing a baby in long grass?

Spoiler:
Finding it with a lawnmower


What's more enjoyable than spinning a baby around on a clothesline at 100mph?

Spoiler:
Stopping it with a spade


Apologies...

Simon

vaporware 07-22-01 09:27 AM

Amateurs. If you want bad jokes, these are bad jokes!!!




How do you make a hot dog stand?
Spoiler:
Steal its chair.


How do you make an egg laugh?
Spoiler:
Tell it a yolk.


How do you prevent a Summer cold?
Spoiler:
Catch it in the Winter!


How does a pig go to hospital?
Spoiler:
In a hambulance.


If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?
Spoiler:
Silverware.


What bird can lift the most?
Spoiler:
A crane.


What bone will a dog never eat?
Spoiler:
A trombone

bothanspy 07-23-01 12:17 AM


Originally posted by JustinS
What's black, white, and red and can't walk through a door?
Spoiler:
A nun with a spear through her head.

Winner of my new signature!

BSPY

xx5354xx 07-23-01 12:36 AM

Are you Bob Saget?


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