ROFL!!! Jokes thread!! (Mature?)
#54
DVD Talk Legend
Join Date: Jul 2000
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How do you make a woman have an orgasm?
What do you call a rabbit who has never been outside?
What did one chick say to another chick when their mother hen laid an orange instead of an egg?
What did the mayonaisse say when the refrigerator was opened?
If two is company and three's a crowd, what are four and five?
Did you hear the joke about the jump rope?
Did you hear the joke about the roof?
Doctor: "It looks like you have a nasty cut on your earlobe. WHat happened?"
Patient: "I bit myself."
Doctor: "On the ear? How the heck did you do that?"
Patient: "I was standing on a chair at the time."
Spoiler:
What do you call a rabbit who has never been outside?
Spoiler:
What did one chick say to another chick when their mother hen laid an orange instead of an egg?
Spoiler:
What did the mayonaisse say when the refrigerator was opened?
Spoiler:
If two is company and three's a crowd, what are four and five?
Spoiler:
Did you hear the joke about the jump rope?
Spoiler:
Did you hear the joke about the roof?
Spoiler:
Doctor: "It looks like you have a nasty cut on your earlobe. WHat happened?"
Patient: "I bit myself."
Doctor: "On the ear? How the heck did you do that?"
Patient: "I was standing on a chair at the time."
#60
DVD Talk Platinum Edition
Originally posted by The Cow
Gotta add one to the worlds worst jokes thread...
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide...
Gotta add one to the worlds worst jokes thread...
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide...
Spoiler:
#63
DVD Talk Gold Edition
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Boston, MA
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i hate you guys so, very wrong, but i can't stop laughing!
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
(how do you do that black bar thingy?)
... she had no arms.
my apologies.
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
(how do you do that black bar thingy?)
... she had no arms.
my apologies.
#66
DVD Talk Gold Edition
Join Date: Apr 2000
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Here's one:
A guy comes home and finds wife naked and in bed with mens clothes everywhere. It's obvious to the guy that someone was just there. The guy goes crazy and throws the refrigerator out the window and then, being so distraught, jumps out after it and kills himself.
Jump to the gates of heaven. God asks the guy how he died and the guy tells him that he was so distraught after catching his wife cheating he threw a refrigerator out the window and then killed himself. God believes that to be a good enough reason to be admitted into heaven so he lets the guy in. the next guy in line steps up and God asks him how he died. The guys says that he was just walking down the street and got crushed by a falling refrigerator. God feels sorry for the guy and lets him in. The next guy steps up and God asks him how he died. The guy begins,"well, see, it all happened when I was in this refrigerator"...
A guy comes home and finds wife naked and in bed with mens clothes everywhere. It's obvious to the guy that someone was just there. The guy goes crazy and throws the refrigerator out the window and then, being so distraught, jumps out after it and kills himself.
Jump to the gates of heaven. God asks the guy how he died and the guy tells him that he was so distraught after catching his wife cheating he threw a refrigerator out the window and then killed himself. God believes that to be a good enough reason to be admitted into heaven so he lets the guy in. the next guy in line steps up and God asks him how he died. The guys says that he was just walking down the street and got crushed by a falling refrigerator. God feels sorry for the guy and lets him in. The next guy steps up and God asks him how he died. The guy begins,"well, see, it all happened when I was in this refrigerator"...
#68
DVD Talk Platinum Edition
Thread Starter
Originally posted by Static Cling
Mods, can you revoke Wazootyman's "Senior Member" status for bringing those horrible jokes to the Otter?
Maybe we need a separate "tasteless jokes" thread? I have the ultimate tasteless joke, but I don't think I want to post it in here. Or anywhere in the forum, for that matter... don't wanna get [BANNED].
Mods, can you revoke Wazootyman's "Senior Member" status for bringing those horrible jokes to the Otter?
Maybe we need a separate "tasteless jokes" thread? I have the ultimate tasteless joke, but I don't think I want to post it in here. Or anywhere in the forum, for that matter... don't wanna get [BANNED].
#69
Admin Emeritus
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Texas, our Texas! All hail the mighty state!
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Originally posted by kinky
Knock knock
who's there ?
Impatient Cow
Impatien....
Moooo, Moooo !!!!
Knock knock
who's there ?
Impatient Cow
Impatien....
Moooo, Moooo !!!!
Originally posted by Wazootyman
Oh darn you Static!! Darn you to heck, they DID take away my Senior Member status, and forced me to become an Addict
Oh darn you Static!! Darn you to heck, they DID take away my Senior Member status, and forced me to become an Addict
BTW, this may be the first time someone's ever "darned me to heck."
Last edited by Static Cling; 10-09-01 at 12:56 AM.
#71
DVD Talk Legend
What is green and red and goes 100 mph?
Another woman joke, please don't get offended, it's all in fun
These are good ones:
Why don't women wear watches?
When do you know when a woman is about to say something right?
Spoiler:
Another woman joke, please don't get offended, it's all in fun
These are good ones:
Why don't women wear watches?
Spoiler:
When do you know when a woman is about to say something right?
Spoiler:
#72
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Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Beautiful (sterile) Johnson Co., KS
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Why are women's feet smaller than men's?
How do you torture Helen Keller?
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
How many men does it take to open a beer?
at all the previously posted bad jokes!
Spoiler:
How do you torture Helen Keller?
Spoiler:
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
Spoiler:
How many men does it take to open a beer?
Spoiler:
at all the previously posted bad jokes!